Bleats

We May Have Finally Found The Solution To Booking Fees, The Overall Worst Part Of Any Ticket-Buying Experience

Because if we're going to pay $10 on top of the ticket price, it may as well go towards something.

Booking fees: they’re the worst part about buying tickets to anything. Sure, internet shit-fights for in-demand tickets and scalpers both rank up there, but at worst they’re variables that can affect some, but not all, ticket-buying experiences.

Booking fees, however, are consistent. They’re a pure, constant annoyance; like taxes, but worse because at least we kind of know what taxes pay for. They’re the Nickelback of bad things we inevitably spend our money on.

One company, however, hopes to change that in a roundabout way. Humanitix, a Sydney-based not-for-profit, wants to redirect ticket booking fees to some good causes – up to thirty of them, in fact.

Simply, when promoters create an event on Humanitix, they can select which charity they’d like all booking fees to be forwarded to, whether it’s improving literacy in the third world, or supplying meals to those living rough on the street.

Who knew that the way to finally make booking fees good and useful was through altruism?

Humanitix was launched in 2015, and is, relatively speaking, still in its infancy. Which is where you come in. Humanitix is currently a finalist in the Google Impact Challenge, with the winner of a $1 Million prize going down to a public vote.

So if you think the idea of putting booking fees to better use is a good one, give Humanitix a vote here.

Start Practising Your High Notes Now, Because The Shallow, Lady Gaga's Signature Song From A Star Is Born, Is Set To Be The Biggest Thing

The song was so good, it drove the audience at the premiere screening to tears.

Over the last few years, we the general public have become more accustomed to big musical numbers. Whether its every girl under the age of twelve knowing the words to Frozen‘s “Let It Go”, the runaway success of The Greatest Showman, or the likes of Sia, Usher and Alicia Keys covering Broadway hit musical Hamilton, we have become more and more hungry for a Capital-B Big show tune.

Enter stage-left Lady Gaga and Bradley Cooper, with their modern remake of Streisand vehicle A Star Is Born. The premiere of the film has already garnered rave reviews, including a literal lightning strike and talk of a Best Actress Oscar for Gaga.

But now we have some more details of arguably the biggest moment of the movie: Lady Gaga’s signature song.

For a reminder of what we’re dealing with: watch this video again. Skip to about 1:40 if you have to.

Hear that high note? That amazing wail? Hear how it just screams “You will play me at your next karaoke night. You will fail to hit the high note. But you will do it anyway, every time, because you know that this song will hit you right there.”

Well, I am happy to announce that yes, by all reports the song, officially titled “The Shallow”, will indeed hit you right there. In that sweet spot between your heart and soul that screams this song will stay with you for a time that feels like forever, and you’ll love every minute of it.

According to a report by Vulture from the Toronto International Film Festival, the song (and the iconic yawlp from the trailer) forms the basis for much of the film, including the rise and fall of Lady Gaga and Bradley Cooper’s relationship as performers and lovers.

But the most interesting this is how the writer describes the moment: he says that the moment the high note hits is not only the apex of the film, but it brought tears to the audiences’ eyes.

Exclusive vision from inside the A Star Is Born premiere.

Reportedly, while no other song hits the way “The Shallow” does, it doesn’t matter: by the time it does, it’s stuck. Like the way “Let It Go” is already stuck with you once Elsa builds her ice castle. Or how basically anything that happens after “This Is Me” in The Greatest Showman is redundant because after it’s done, you just want to pump your fist and play it again.

Banger? Banger.

Radio stations, karaoke bars, wannabe musicians, prepare yourselves: “The Shallow” will be the big hit of the end of this year. The only thing stopping it is a possible resurgence of Queen hits, which is still a favourable outcome, to be fair.

However, my money’s on Lady Gaga’s pipes. And I, for one, welcome my new Lady Gaga-wailing overlord.

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