Bleats

An Australian Federal Candidate Paid Stormy Daniels For An Endorsement And It's Better Than That Sounds

And it's possibly Australia's least-Trumplike political figure!

Political endorsements are pure electoral gold. At least, we assume that’s the case because otherwise getting them would just be a big stupid waste of time and, on occasion, US$250.

Such as this case, where comedian Michael Hing has gotten an endorsement for One Asian’s senate campaign from Ms Stormy Daniels.

Yes, that Stormy Daniels.

And, like certain sitting US presidents are alleged to have done, Hing paid for the pleasure – specifically, he paid the company Cameo the aforementioned two-hundred-and-fifty-dollars-US-which-is-what-$354.84-Australian-before-conversion-fees for 15 seconds of Daniels’ time.

Unlike others, however, Hing has happily copped to it. And it’s fair to assume that she found the experience far more pleasurable.

And while NSW voters are probably not going to give the genuinely brilliant Hing a gig, it’s worth pointing out that he is almost certainly not eligible to sit in parliament under Section 44 of the Constitution in any case – not because of his citizenship, but because he’s employed by SBS and is therefore is possession of “an office of profit under the Crown”.

But hey, that’s for the High Court to determine! In the meantime, NSW, you know what to do.

Robert Pattinson Says He Smells Like A Crayon And I Need To Know Which Colour

Another wild yarn from R-Patz.

Robert Pattinson has gained quite a reputation for spinning wild yarns during interviews, but his most recent comments on his body odour have me truly shaken.

In a recent interview with Allure the star of the upcoming The Batman film said, “Lots of people tell me I smell like a crayon.”

The interviewer – understandably bewildered by this statement – then asked, “Like you’re made of wax?”

To which R-Patz responded, “Yes! Like I’m embalmed.”

I have so many questions. What colour crayon does Pattinson smell like? What brand? Is he using lots of crayons? And most importantly, who are these multiple people who are telling him he smells like crayon!? Is that an insult, or a compliment?

It’s not the first time Robert Pattinson’s scent has come up in conversation. Back in 2009, E! News reported that an unidentified source who worked “very closely” with the actor on New Moon said “he stinks.”

“I mean, it’s awful,” the source said. “He never showers, and it drives people on the set crazy.”

“He completely reeks,” an unidentified crew member added. Yikes.

It’s been over a decade since then, so we can only hope Robert Pattinson has swapped his lack of showering for an obsession with crayons. 

Speaking of celebrity scents, celebrity tattoo artist Lauren Winzer dishes on what Post Malone smells like on It’s Been A Big Day For…below:

During his interview with Allure, Pattinson was also asked about being recently named the “most handsome man” in the world according to science.

“It’s weird,” he said. “I never was really up for the good-looking-guy roles, because I’ve always been quite awkward when meeting people.”

“My Harry Potter role was a good-looking guy, and it was a shock that it was quite easy to get. And then in Twilight, [Edward is] beautiful, beautiful, beautiful. When I turned up for the auditions, I had done a job where I’d dyed my hair black, because I had an inch and a half of roots, and I had waxed my body. And then I had a few months where I’d been drinking beer all day, so I had this hairless, chubby body. I looked like a baby with a wig on.”

Hairless, chubby, waxed or smelling like a crayon – we’ll take Robert Pattinson any which way.

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