Bleats

‘Jesus’ Nike Shoes Have Risen If You’d Like To Literally Walk On Water

Holy heel.

As the 2018 Met Gala aptly demonstrated, the church knows its way around a lewk. Between the purple and the gold finishes and the dramatic capes that demand attention, the whole ‘Papal but make it fashion’ thing is no new trend.

We worship at the altar of RiRi.
Credit: Vogue

If you’re a saint (or sinner) who’s into that sort of thing, you best pay attention because holy Father do we have an update for you.

As Vice has reported, Brooklyn design company MSCHF this week dropped a pair of ‘Jesus Shoes‘ for the fashion-forward Christian (or, y’know… whoever).

What makes them Jesus-y, you ask? Let me explain.

The Nike Air Max 97’s have been given a sacred makeover and believe me when I tell you no detail has been spared.

The kicks do not merely come with a steel crucifix attached to their laces. Oh, no.

The soles are filled with actual Holy Water. The water was sourced from the river Jordan, blessed, then inserted into the sneakers.

The insoles are not just any old piece of fabric, either. The inserts, which have been coloured red as a head nod to the traditional shoes of the Pope, have been infused with Frankincense.

We come bearing gifts for your fancy kicks.
Credit: 20th Century

Religious details touch everything from the heel loops (inscribed with MSCHF and INRI – which stands for ‘Jesus of Nazareth, King of the Jews’ in Latin) to the shoe box. The seal on the box is a take on the Papal Sea.

The sneakers were originally being sold for $1,425 USD (about AUD 2100) but sold out almost immediately. They’re now available on StockX marketplace for about $3,000 USD (over AUD 4,400). To which I can only say: Santa Maria.

The New York Post spoke with MCSHF’s head of commerce, Daniel Greenberg, who explained that the design idea came from the concept of “absurd collab culture”.

“We were wondering, what would a collab with Jesus Christ look like?” Greenberg told the Post.

“As a Jew myself, the only thing I knew was that he walked on water.”

So, yeah. These very pricey, very religious shoes are poking fun at a bigger theme. But, they’re still kinda nice, so if you’re into them, go with grace, folks.

Religion in 2019.
Credit: HBO

Today In Things We Can't Relate To, Jared Leto Thinks Someone Stole His Head

“If anyone out there finds it, bring it in to your nearest Gucci store”

Today on the internet, a GQ interview with Jared Leto has made headlines because of some particularly attention-grabbing comments made by the Suicide Squad actor.

The publication spoke with Leto about his relationship with Gucci, and his ability to make over-the-top outfit choices appear “tactile”.

“Well, I was born in Louisiana, so that probably balances out any chance of getting too regal, but I have a lot of help from the Gucci team,” he told GQ.

“They’re an incredible group of people. So talented, so gifted. I feel really fortunate to work with Alessandro and this motley crew of artists and craftspeople that he’s put together.”

Naturally, the conversation turned to his bold outfit for the 2019 Met Gala soon after. In case you’ve since forgotten, the 47-year-old wore an embellished red number and carried a replica of his own head at the event.

Leto mentioned that since May, the (frankly, quite terrifying) accessory he brought along with him has gone missing.

When the magazine asked him what he did with his head (what a sentence) he replied:

“Honestly, I have no idea. I think someone may have stolen it. If anyone out there finds it, bring it into your nearest Gucci store in exchange for a pair of dirty sneakers.”

While this is obviously a joke and we’re imagining there are few people who would want to steal a bust of Jared Leto, The Cut has pointed out that it’s not exactly a cheap trinket.

According to the outlet, Gucci dropped somewhere around €25,000 (AUD 40,600) on the fake Leto head. The piece was created by Italian special effects team Makinarium, and might just be one of the strangest ways to spend forty grand, ever.

Here’s hoping Leto gets his head back in his hands soon.

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