Bleats

Pornhub Is Getting Even Dirtier To Convince You To Clean Up The Earth

Keep the filth out of the oceans and in the bedroom.

We all know about Pornhub for its adult entertainment offerings but getting people to sploosh isn’t the only thing it does. When its not providing folks with titillating material, its helping to save the environment with its own brand of sexy, sexy activism.

The latest initiative is appropriately called the “Dirtiest Porn Ever” and it involves raising awareness about plastic pollution in our oceans by encouraging us to, uh, proudly jerk it to a brand new film starring popular Pornhub amateur couple, Leolulu.

Talk about killing two birds with one stone.

Here’s the gist of the whole campaign.

Pornhub has made a new film starring Leolulu which sees the couple get freaky on a beach. But there’s a twist: the beach is completely covered with trash and is dirtier than what the pair get up to in the bedroom.

To raise awareness on how awful plastic pollution is and how trash can ruin the environment, any instance of the couple getting down and dirty is obscured by rubbish so you can’t actually see their bits.

But don’t worry too much all you horny folks out there. This only goes on for a few minutes until a cleaner comes to clear up the trash so you can see Leolulu in “all their naked glory.”

Just to make the whole thing even sweeter, the initiative doesn’t require you to do anything other than watch the full, uncensored video as Pornhub states it’ll donate to Ocean Polymers (a company that cleans ocean waste) for every view it gets.

In short, you’re literally saving the Earth’s oceans by wanking off a porn film set on a disgusting beach. That’s a win-win for everyone.

So don’t be a jerk, go jerk off and save the environment since the world’s leaders are obviously not going to do anything about it any time soon.

Cum Come for the environmental message, stay for the porn.

Scott Morrison Won't Chip In To The Amazon Fires Fund, Don't Be Surprised

The fund is currently at $30 million. That's not a typo.

With fires spreading wildly through the Amazon rainforest, the “lungs of the world” is in dire need of assistance. Realising that having a major source of the world’s oxygen disappear is probably a bad thing, the world leaders at the G7 summit in France have agreed to pledge $30 million in aid. However, Australia won’t have any part of that according to Scott Morrison.

Scotty, who was at the G7 summit as an invited guest, said Australia won’t be ponying up any coin since the Amazon fires are “not directly in our sphere” and the resources are better spent focusing on disasters closer to home.

Okay, that doesn’t look great in terms of showing international support, especially when you’re an invited guest to big boy meeting like G7 but there’s some actual logic to Scott Morrison’s decision here.

Australia isn’t part of the G7, which is comprised of the seven largest economies in the world, so there’s technically no obligation for us to pledge any aid to the Amazon fires or join in any of the bingo games.

But there are two, far bigger, reasons why Scotty’s decision sort of makes sense.

Firstly, $30 million in aid is virtually nothing when facing a disaster as large and destructive as the Amazon fires. To put that number into perspective, Notre Dame got around 1 billion euros in aid. An 800-year-old cathedral that’s taking up space got far more attention and funding than the biggest producer of oxygen on Earth. Yes, it is messed up.

Hell, Leonardo DiCaprio is ponying up $5 million of his Once Upon A Time In Hollywood money to fight the fires. That’s one-sixth of what the G7 leaders pledged to help the Amazon.

It sounds incredibly cynical because it is, but why should Australia put money on the table when no one will, especially when this money will barely make a difference? If the G7 countries pledged $1 billion then we’d be having a different conversation. But $30 million? Nah.

It’s the current state of the world, sadly.

Secondly, Scotty’s excuse of Australia needing to focus on disasters at home isn’t totally unfounded. Bush fire season is nearly upon us, with some states being hit early this year, and we’re going through yet another awful drought period. Throw in other natural disasters, like flooding, into the mix and we’re looking at a massive bill.

According to research by Australian Business Roundtable for Disaster Resilience & Safer Communities, Australia is hit with an average of $18.2 billion per year in economic costs due to natural disasters and that number is forecast to more than double to $39 billion by 2050.

With costs like that, it does seem like any potential aid sent to the Amazon would be better used at home.

That’s an understatement.

But in saying all that, whether or not Scotty actually, you know, does something about the disasters at home is another question altogether. Will he actually do something about it or will it be another case of “whataboutism”?

There’s also this little fact: we all know where ol’ mate stands on the issue of climate change, which played a big part in what’s happening in the Amazon. Remember when he brought that lump of coal into parliament that one time? That really says all you need to know about his stance on global warming and Australia’s emissions.

So we really shouldn’t be too surprised that Scott Morrison backed out of helping the Amazon. It’s just that he has an excuse to fall back upon this time around.

Spider-Man’s Side Hustles Are Now His Main Flex After Being Booted From The MCU

Glad to see Spidey keeping himself busy.

Now that Spider-Man has been kicked out of the MCU after his parents, Sony and Marvel/Disney, had an almighty argument over custody rights, ol’ mate has sort of found himself out of a job (for now at least).

Since a guy’s gotta eat and the employment waters are a little muddied thanks to Tom Holland and his overeager thumb, the webslinger has taken to a number of side-hustles to fill his time. While he may not be a friendly neighbourhood Spider-Man anymore, he’s still helping people out in other meaningful, non-punchy ways.

There’s his dabble in promoting safe sex when Durex India thought to jump on the whole “Spidey leaving Marvel” bandwagon. Technically he’s still in the web slinging business and… okay, I’ll stop there.

The webslinger isn’t just being used to help dudes to, uh, sling their webs safely during sex. While one half of the world is crying over the Spider-Man/Marvel deal being set on fire, the other half is literally on fire.

Thanks to the doings of inconsiderable humans with a dash of climate change (and not NGOs like what Brazil’s idiotic president, Jair Bolsonaro, wants everyone to believe) the Amazon Rainforest is going up in flames at a worrying rate, so much so the smoke can be seen from space.

Now two wrongs don’t necessarily make a right (outside of mathematics) but there’s an exception in this case. Since the Amazon is in dire need of saving, some folk on Twitter decided to turn Spider-Man into clickbait in order to get people to donate money to SOS Amazônia, a NGO that’s raising awareness about the destruction of the Amazon.

So while Sony and Marvel/Disney figure out a custody agreement over who should have Spider-Man on weekends, Tom Holland’s webslinger indirectly helped promote safe sex and raised awareness on the Amazon Rainforest fires.

If Tony Stark could see what you’ve done – albeit unintentionally – he’d be pretty proud and probably a bit weirded out.

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