Bleats

Turns Out The Source Of Keanu Reeves' Immortality Lies Within His Beard

Whoa.

There are three things that are certain in life: death, taxes, and Keanu Reeves looking decades younger than he actually is. But if the first images of Bill & Ted Face The Music are anything to go by, we may have finally caught a glimpse of old-man Keanu Reeves.

The long-waited Bill & Ted sequel comes 28 years after the previous instalment so you’d expect the titular Bill and Ted to be a bit older than their fresh-faced 90s selves.

And you’d be right because the first images from the film really show the age difference between 1991 Keanu Reeves and 2019 Keanu Reeves.

Keanu Reeves is a handsome chap in every sense of the word, but the lack of beard on his face has really exposed the middle-aged man underneath. Perhaps we’ve gotten so used to his beard over the last decade or so that seeing him with no facial hair is a bit jarring.

Or perhaps the secret to Keanu’s immortality lies within his beard and shaving it all off has rendered him (temporarily) into a mere mortal pleb like the rest of us. This is the only reasonable explanation.

Having said all that, even though Bill & Ted have aged accordingly, both Alex Winter and Keanu have aged really well and certainly don’t look like two chaps in their mid-50s.

Not bad indeed.

As for what the film is about, Bill & Ted Face The Music sees the titular duo going through the motions of middle-aged life, only to be warned by a visitor from the future that they need to write a song that will save the universe.

I’m not entirely sure why the director of Bill & Ted Face The Music had Keanu Reeves shave off his trademark beard because he could’ve kept all that fuzz and it would’ve had zero impact on the the film’s story.

Oh well, we’ll just have to get used to clean-shaven, middle-aged Keanu Reeves for a bit when Bill & Ted Face The Music comes out on August 21, 2020. Here’s hoping he’ll be back to his rugged self when 2021 rolls along.

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Top Gun: Maverick Finally Gives Tom Cruise An Age-Appropriate Leading Lady

The question now is when will Leo DiCaprio do the same.

If you were to look at Tom Cruise’s movie choices over the last decade, it’s pretty obvious that he’s trying incredibly hard to hold onto what’s left of his youth. How else could you explain the crazy stunts and action scenes he keeps trying to do in all those Mission: Impossible movies, not to mention that stupid “you are a younger man” line spoken by Russell Crowe in The Mummy?

But based on the new trailer for Top Gun: Maverick, it seems like Tom Cruise is finally accepting the fact that he’s a middle-aged man who is closer to 60 (he’s 57) than he is 30.

In just two minutes, we’re shown that Maverick is unashamedly a Top Gun sequel. There’s a bar singing scene, impossibly ripped dudes playing volleyball, someone who looks like Goose, someone who looks like a young Val Kilmer, and of course, heaps of crazy aerial combat scenes that defy the laws of physics.

But perhaps the most unrealistic thing in the Top Gun: Maverick trailer – and almost certainly the entire movie – is Tom Cruise’s age-appropriate love interest.

If we go by the ages of Tom’s leading ladies in the last 10 movies he has produced and starred in, the average age gap is about 16.5 years. But for Top Gun: Maverick, Tom Cruise’s love interest is played by the exceedingly talented Jennifer Connelly, who is “only’ eight years younger than he is.

By all quantifiable metrics and measures, that’s a big improvement for ol’ mate compared to his usual younger leading lady standards. It was actually quite nice to see scenes of Tom and Jennifer riding on a motorbike as opposed to Tom and some young actress who is decades younger than he is.

While it’s nice that Tom is finally acting alongside women who is of appropriate age, this isn’t anything to really celebrate about given how original Top Gun leading lady, Kelly McGillis, wasn’t asked back for Maverick because she thinks it’s because she’s too “old.”

Then there’s the whole sexist, double-standard thing about older leading ladies in Hollywood where studio suits would rather cast an older dude alongside a young starlet over casting an older woman alongside a young chap. But that’s another story for another time.

For now, if Tom Cruise is able to come to terms with his age (well, onscreen anyway), perhaps there’s hope for Leonardo DiCaprio yet.

Always be in the loop with our snackable podcast breaking the biggest story of the day. Subscribe to It’s Been A Big Day For… on your favourite podcast app.

Kumail Nanjiani Got Jacked For Marvel, But His Caption About It Is The Real Winner

To no one's surprise, it takes quite a bit to be a Marvel-approved superhero.

If someone brought up the name Kumail Nanjiani, chances are you’ll recognise him as either a) that dude off Silicon Valley, b) that dude who wrote that Oscar-nominated movie The Big Sick a few years ago, or c) one of the new peeps who will be in Marvel’s crazy-sounding Eternals movie.

Well it’s time to think about Kumail Nanjiani in a way you probably never expected: swole Marvel-approved superhero.

The Eternals star shared a photo to Instagram of his new physique and, well, the dude is ripped like a brick sh*thouse. We expected him to get in shape since he’s in a Marvel movie and all, but seeing him with bulging biceps and washboard abs is something else (in a good way).

Unsurprisingly, the internet has reacted accordingly, by which I mean with excessive amounts of frothing and thirsting. Kumail has literally become the thirst trap his character on Silicon Valley wishes to be.

But the best part about Kumail unveiling his new, swole bod on Instagram is the caption he wrote about what he went through in order to become jacked.

Going from normal to spandex-wearing Marvel shape takes a heap of work and resources, and Kumail is refreshingly honest about what it takes to achieve a bod that’s worthy to be part of the Eternals.

Writing how he “wanted to transform” how he looked, Kumail acknowledged he wouldn’t have been able do it had he not gotten a “full year with the best trainers and nutritionists paid for by the biggest studio in the world” before praising the *checks notes* five(!) personal trainers and the catering company that made it all possible, as well as his wife, writer Emily V. Gordon, for “putting up with [him] complaining and talking about only working out and dieting for the last year.” 

Kumail also nailed the reason why he (and many other people) didn’t bother to become ripped in the first place, writing “it would’ve been impossible without [the] resources and time” afforded by Disney and Marvel.

Some Hollywood stars rave on about how they got their bod through sheer hard work and discipline (*cough* Dwayne “The Rock” Johnson *cough*) while not realising how lucky they are to be afforded the resources and time to get in shape for a living.

We all know that getting into shape isn’t an easy thing to do but it’s pretty nice to see Kumail Nanjiani acknowledge how privileged he is while also recognising how building a body fit for a Marvel movie isn’t something that’s achievable for the the average person.

Always be in the loop with our snackable podcast breaking the biggest story of the day. Subscribe to It’s Been A Big Day For… on your favourite podcast app.

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