Bleats

Star Wars: Ep IX's Original Script Is Actually Far Better Than Rise Of Skywalker

Why Lucasfilm passed on this boggles the mind.

Now that the dust has settled on Star Wars: The Rise Of Skywalker and all of its faults, one has to wonder how the movie ended up as disappointing as it did and surely the vision Colin Trevorrow (who was the original director before he got sacked) had for the film couldn’t have been worse than that.

Well the original Star Wars script written by Colin Trevorrow and his partner Derek Connolly has leaked and in the biggest surprise this side of the galaxy, it is parsecs better than Rise Of Skywalker.

The leak, which is a YouTube video from Robert Meyer Burnett, who is a filmmaker with industry contacts, appeared on the ‘StarWarsLeaks‘ subreddit, which I can vouch for as having a surprisingly good track record for Star Wars leaks (unsurprisingly). Disney and Colin Trevorrow have yet to comment on the leak but The AV Club has been able to independently confirm the leak’s legitimacy.

Anyway, let’s get onto the good stuff. So Trevorrow’s movie is titled Duel Of The Fates (already a far better title than Rise Of Skywalker) and his last draft was written back in December 2016, meaning that there could’ve been original revisions before he got sacked.

Still, the story of Duel Of The Fates as we know it is narratively and thematically far more engrossing than Rise Of Skywalker. I’ll break down the biggest plot points, changes and general cool moments below but check out the video here if you want as it’s super interesting (the good stuff starts at around 25:55).

  • Rose Tico was a much more important character (#JusticeForRose) and is on an important mission with Finn, C-3PO and R2-D2 to get allies to assist the Resistance in their battle against the Resistance.
  • Rey has a new double-blade lightsaber forged from her staff and Luke/Anakin’s ruined lightsaber.
  • Kylo Ren is on Mustafar and looking for a Sith Holocron. Very similar to what unfolded in Rise Of Skywalker but is much more fleshed out here.
  • Kylo is haunted by Luke Skywalker’s Force ghost, who tells him to go back to Leia.
  • Palaptine doesn’t exist as a character, only in the form of a recording in the Sith Holocron Kylo is looking for.
  • The Palpatine Sith Holocron recording is a contingency plan for Vader if Luke kills him: Vader was to take like to Tor Valum, Palpatine’s master.
  • Kylo discovers it was love that caused Anakin’s fall to the Dark side.
  • Kylo finds Tor Valum – who is described as “Lovecraftian” which is awesome – trains with him and ends up fighting (and losing) to a Vader phantom.
  • Kylo’s arc basically revolves around ending the ways of the Sith as we know it.
  • In a parallel journey to Kylo, Rey’s story revolves around trying to end the ways of the Jedi and wrestling with her beliefs and Luke’s teachings (clearly a follow on from The Last Jedi).
  • Poe, Chewie and BB-8 basically help Rey on her journey. Not that big but at least Chewie gets to fly an X-Wing.
  • The whole “bring Kylo back to the Light” plot still exists.
  • Rey is indeed a nobody and not the grandaughter of someone famous or whatever.
  • Kylo killed Rey’s parents under orders of Snoke, meaning no chance for that kiss
  • Rey and Kylo fight with her trying to convince him to come back to the light. She fails and Ben is “extinguished,” whatever that means.
  • Resistance wins, First Order loses (of course)
  • Han Solo also appears to Kylo in Duel Of The Fates, not unlike Rise Of Skywalker

This was just a quick summary of Duel Of The Fates and you can watch the video about for a much more thorough breakdown of the script. But based on what Burnett described, Trevorrow had some seriously interesting ideas and concepts for Star Wars. I mean, a Lovecraftian Sith Master is just goddamn cool.

But alas, the higher ups at Lucasfilm passed on Duel Of The Fates in favour of Rise Of Skywalker for some inexplicable reason. To be fair, Trevorrow was coming off a flop (The Book Of Henry) and Jurassic World wasn’t exactly good (even though it made money) so it’s understandable why the suits were nervous about giving him the keys to a Star Wars movie.

While we don’t know who leaked the script, everything we’ve learned about Duel Of The Fates has left us with the most intriguing Star Wars “what if.”

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How Will Live-Action Mulan Defeat The Huns If There Are No Songs?

No more getting down to business.

Among the many worries we’ve had with Disney’s live-action adaptation of Mulan, the biggest sticking point is what the filmmakers will do with regards to adapting the animated movie’s songs and singing sequences. After all, the only reason Mulan defeated the Huns was because of the masterpiece that is ‘I’ll Make A Man Out Of You.”

But while previous reports stated that Mulan will have instrumental versions of the animated movie’s songs, it appears the final product won’t even have that.

During a Q&A about Mulan (via Buzzfeed), director Niki Caro revealed that not only will there be no singing but there won’t be any songs in the film either.

As for why she made the choice to not include songs from the original animated masterpiece, Niki explains that the tunes didn’t fit into the “realistic” direction she and Disney had in mind for Mulan, saying “we don’t tend to break into song when we go to war.”

Okay fair, most soldiers don’t break out into songs like ‘A Girl Worth Fighting For’ when marching to battle against the Huns. But I’m pretty sure “realistic” battles don’t involve shape-shifting witches and phoenixes either so I’m not entirely sure what Niki’s definition of “realism” means in this context. Maybe it’s code for “no one can sing ‘I’ll Make A Man Out Of You’ so we had to cut the songs.”

But having said that, Niki did say Mulan will “honour the music from the animation in a very significant way” though she didn’t elaborate further. That could literally mean anything from having orchestral renditions of original movie’s songs be sprinkled into the soundtrack to some background character playing ‘Reflection’ in the background.

To be fair to Disney and Niki Caro, there’s no way to make everyone happy with a live-adaptation of Mulan. There will be a contingent of fans who will be upset that the movie wasn’t faithful to the original animated film and there’ll also be a contingent of folks who will be upset that the movie was too faithful to the original. It’s a lose-lose situation really.

We’ll just have to see how the finished version of Mulan will look and how the titular heroine will defeat the Huns without the power of songs like ‘I’ll Make A Man Out Of You’ when it comes out on March 2020.

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Ne-Yo Is The Only One With Ne-Yo On His Sex Playlist

"Mid-stroke I'm like 'ah that verse could have been better.'"

Here’s a question for you: when was the last time you listened to or even just thought of Ne-Yo? Probably not since at least the mid-2000s, which was when he last did something that warranted our attention.

While he’s been keeping himself busy by releasing new music and appearing as a judge on TV shows, Ne-Yo has reached that point in pop-culture where the mention of his name gets responses such as “oh yeah, I remember him, that was ages ago” and “the guy from The Matrix?

Anyway, the reason I bring Ne-Yo up out of the blue is because of some weird comments he made that make it seem like he’s desperate to recapture some attention.

The singer delved into his personal life to Lilly Singh and revealed that he listens to his own tunes when he has sex with his partner. That… actually sort of makes sense. After all, there has to be someone out there who is still listening to Ne-Yo and it might as well be the man himself because as he explains: “Ain’t nobody gonna love me like me, damnit.”

Ne-Yo’s bedroom playlist warranted a follow-up because the thought of someone banging to his own bangers is too weird to just drop and TMZ decided to ask the singer what is up with his sex music of choice.

After admitting again that he does listen to his own music during sex, he does say that hearing his own voice gets irritating, not because it takes him out of the mood but because it makes him critical of his own music.

“I’m gonna be very honest. Half the time I don’t like it because I can’t listen to my music without critiquing, so like, mid-stroke I’m like ‘ah that verse could have been better.'”

As for what songs of his he has on his bedroom playlist, Ne-Yo says he gets freaky to his own tunes “by request only” (ugh) and it’s usually his wife who sets the playlist. Having said that, he does say he likes banging to his 2006 tune ‘Mirror’ and says that it “gets the job done.

Good to know.

Of all the things we didn’t think we wanted to know, Ne-Yo getting in on to his own songs ranks within the top 10. It is strange that he’s decided to put this little tidbit out there in the world though. Then again, maybe he’s just taking a page from the Jason Derulo PR handbook: get a lot of attention for a big upcoming project by talking about your dong.

Always be in the loop with our snackable podcast breaking the biggest story of the day. Subscribe to It’s Been A Big Day For… on your favourite podcast app.

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