Billie Eilish Shakes (Not Stirs) Up The Bond Universe, Headed For Oscars 2021

Eilish. Billie Eilish.

Billie Eilish already has a bunch of records to her name – she’s the first artist born after 2000 to have a number one album, and the youngest artist to ever score four Grammy nominations. On top of that, at 18 she’s now the youngest artist to ever perform a Bond song.

The newest Bond film, No Time To Die, comes out in April, and singing the Bond song is a huge deal. The honour has previously gone to people like Sir Paul McCartney, Shirley Bassey, Duran Duran and Madonna. 

The most recent two Bond themes, Skyfall by Adele and Writing’s On The Wall by Sam Smith both won the Oscar for Best Original Song in their respective years. The 2020 Oscar nominations were only announced yesterday, but I’m already skipping over all that woman-and-POC-snubbing mess and looking ahead to the 2021 awards. If anyone can give James Bond the Best Original Song trifecta, it’s Billie Eilish.

We don’t know a lot about the song so far, just that she wrote it with her big brother Finneas.

“It feels crazy to be a part of this in every way. To be able to score the theme song to a film that is part of such a legendary series is a huge honour. James Bond is the coolest film franchise ever to exist. I’m still in shock,” Billie said in a statement.

There had been some speculation floating around about who was going to sing the theme for No Time To Die, with the most popular theory being Beyonce. To be fair, Beyonce posing with a martini was just asking for rumours.

Billie Eilish has big shoes to fill following on from Adele, Sam Smith, and all the other performers who’ve sung Bond songs in the past. If anyone can pull it off though, I’m sure it’s her. Oscars 2021, here we come.

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The ARIA’s Decade Wrap Exposes Our Awkward Teen Phases

We're genuinely sorry for party rocking.

The 2010s were a wild time for everyone to be alive. If you wanted to forget what you were up to in the first half of the decade, then I’m sorry. Our collectively terrible teenage music taste will live forever, and that’s been proven by the ARIA’s releasing their wrap up of the decade today.

The most bonkers statistic to me is that Australia’s fourth most popular single of the entire decade was goddamn Party Rock Anthem by LMFAO. Remember them? Of course you do. They were everywhere.

The top 10 list also records our “sad acoustic dudes” phase circa 2012 with Passenger’s Let Her Go at number nine. 

Then there was that phase we all went through in 2014 where we thought that Thinking Out Loud was the pinnacle of romance and that we could definitely all dance like they did in the film clip (just me?). Actually we were just obsessed with Ed all around, he took out three spots in the top ten, including topping the list with Shape Of You.

For the Aussie artists, the biggest single was Somebody That I Used To Know, the song that finally got us to stop shuffling to LMFAO and go back to being ~deep and emotional~. 

If you’re one of those people who likes to rant about old music being real music, first of all stop that, but second of all your list is the Australian albums of the decade. Crowded House, Cold Chisel, and INXS all get a mention.

Check out the full lists:

Top 10 Singles Of The 2010s

1. Ed Sheeran – ‘Shape Of You’
2. Gotye feat. Kimbra – ‘Somebody That I Used To Know’
3. Mark Ronson feat. Bruno Mars – ‘Uptown Funk’
4. LMFAO Feat. Lauren Bennet & GoonRock – ‘Party Rock Anthem’
5. Pharrell Williams – ‘Happy’
6.Ed Sheeran – ‘Thinking Out Loud’
7. Katy Perry – ‘Roar’
8. Ed Sheeran – ‘Perfect’
9. Passenger – ‘Let Her Go’
10. Adele – ‘Someone Like You’

Top 10 Australian Singles Of The 2010s

1. Gotye feat. Kimbra – ‘Somebody That I Used To Know’
2. Vance Joy – ‘Riptide’
3. Guy Sebastian Feat. Lupe Fiasco – ‘Battle Scars’
4. 5 Seconds Of Summer – ‘Youngblood’
5. Sia – ‘Chandelier’
6. Flume Feat. Kai – ‘Never Be Like You’
7. Dean Lewis – ‘Be Alright’
8.  Matt Corby – ‘Brother’
9. Sheppard – ‘Geronimo’
10. Tones And I – ‘Dance Monkey’

Top 10 Albums Of The 2010s

1. Adele – 21
2. Michael Bublé – Christmas
3. Adele – 25
4. Ed Sheeran – X
5. Ed Sheeran – ÷
6. P!nk – Truth About Love
7. P!nk – Greatest Hits…So Far!!!
8. Taylor Swift – 1989
9. Ed Sheeran – +
10. Bruno Mars – Doo-Wops & Hooligans

Top 10 Australian Albums Of The 2010s

1. INXS – The Very Best
2. Cold Chisel – The Best Of Cold Chisel: All For You
3. Gotye – Making Mirrors
4. Angus & Julia Stone – Down The Way
5. Flume – Flume
6. Crowded House – The Very Very Best Of
7. Guy Sebastian – Armageddon
8. Keith Urban – The Story So Far
9. Hilltop Hoods – Walking Under Stars
10. Hilltop Hoods – Drinking From The Sun

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People Have Resorted To Drugs To Make It Through Watching Cats

"I swear to God my soul escaped me."

2019 gave us a lot of things, not all of them good, and Cats was probably one of the worst. Even if you haven’t seen the movie, you’ve probably seen the stills or the trailer, and no matter what they’ve haunted your nightmares. In fact it’s so nuts, that people have decided that the only way to cope with the madness on the screen in front of them is by taking heaps of drugs before going to see it. 

Going to the movies while less-than-sober isn’t anything new, but the fact that Cats looks like a bad trip even if you haven’t taken and drugs is a sure fire sign that things are about to get really weird.

The Washington Post interviewed a bunch of people who had resorted to taking marijuana, magic mushrooms, or LSD before braving all 1 hour and 49 minutes of celebrities dancing naked as cats.

The reviews? Behold:

“Cried both times. Planning on going two more times.”

“The most terrifying experience of my life. I swear to God my soul escaped me.”

“Vomited four times but ultimately understood the film on a deep level.”

Someone had a panic attack brought on by Taylor Swift’s cat singing Macavity.

Another person who just absolutely couldn’t cope with the CGI cat version of James Corden called the film “a special kind of evil.”

Look, perhaps they aren’t the best reviews in the world, but it’s not all bad for everyone. The most glowing review came from a Los Angeles woman who said “I was so delighted. I was like, ‘Is this genius? Is this the best thing I have ever seen?’”

For a film that’s set to make a $100 million loss at the Box Office, these certainly aren’t the worst reviews it’s copped. Still, if it requires this level of effort to understand Cats and the best feedback comes from people who are on a lot of drugs, you have a problem.

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