Bleats

Emilia Clarke Represented Short Girls Everywhere With Her Monster Emmys Heels

*collective wince*

I’m shorter than your average human. 

It’s something which I resent and like about myself equally.

It’s also something that gets me tagged in endless ‘short girl’ memes, makes me the butt of short jokes, and transforms me into a human arm rest whenever I’m standing next to someone significantly taller than me. 

So when I meet a fellow short girl, I feel an instant sense of sisterhood. I don’t even have to know them and I feel connected to them. 

Take Emilia Clarke – I just know we’d be besties. Not because she’s hilarious and charismatic and seems like a genuinely good human, like me, but because she, also like me, is a short girl. 

Her latest Instagram post has proved this definitively. Specifically, the shoes she is wearing in her latest post. 

Those heels are weapons. Deadly weapons. And I don’t mean they heel could be used as a shiv (which they definitely could be), I mean they’re deadly for the wearer – just looking at them make me wince in familiar pain. 

I owned a pair exactly like them once – I wore them to my year 12 formal. I insisted I needed them because I refused to be too much shorter than my partner. I was still shorter than him only in significantly more pain and I never wore the shoes again. 

And this is how I know Emilia and I would be besties – we would bond over shared experience and the trauma of dancing in heels way too tall for our small lil’ feet.  

Emilia, if you’re reading this, know I see you. I understand your pain. I appreciate your dedication. And, above all else, I think you’re awesome. Thank you for representing short girls everywhere and showing the world the everyday struggles we must endure to make us feel equal (in stature) to taller beings. 

Represent. Source: Giphy

Is Gwendoline Christie’s Jesus-Esque Emmys Outfit Self-Aware Or Insensitive?

More like Gwendoline Christ.

In case you missed it, the Game of Thrones cast reunited at the Emmys yesterday and the whole world shed a collective tear. 

Okay, we sobbed. Like babies. 

But for all the beauty on that stage, none shone brighter than queen Gwendoline Christie who, once again, killed the fashion game. 

I mean, 

Would I wear it? Hell no. 

Do I think she looks like a tall bad arse Roman glass of water? You betcha. 

And it seems I’m not the only one whose brain went straight to The Bible, because Instagram meme account Betches created a mixed media piece of art (yes, it’s art) which Gwendoline re-shared. 

I for one think it’s pretty amusing – we’re all thinking it, why deny it? 

Also, props to Gwendoline for being self-aware enough to know people are making the same joke and owning it. 

But I’m not ignorant – I realise the ‘joke’ at hand is a little tongue-in-cheek and raises the question: how far is too far? How much can we joke about and appropriate issues of religion and culture before it stops being funny and just becomes plain insensitive? 

I think the answer lies in the message being communicated. Religion crossing over with pop-culture is not a new thing – The Simpsons had a nativity episode, Whoopi Goldberg pretended to be a Nun in Sister Act, and Ariana sung that ‘God Is A Woman’. 

Just saying. Source: Giphy

In these instances it’s important to ask if the religion is being mocked or harmed in any way. The answer is often no. 

There is no harm in them Gwendoline acknowledging the similarity between her Emmys outfit and the style of clothing worn circa the time of Jesus Christ. 

There is no harm in Betches creating relatable, universal content – especially when it brings people joy. 

There is no harm in comedy (most of the time).  

No harm, no foul. 

Emilia Clarke Dressed As An Elf In Her New Movie Will (Almost) Make You Love Daenerys Again

Giving us the closure we want and deserve.

It’s hard not to love Emilia Clarke – she’s lovely and funny and beautiful and I’m pretty sure we’re soul mates (not that she knows it). 

Then I remember what Game of Thrones did Emilia’s character and just how crazy and un-loveable Daenerys became and, suddenly, I begin to question my feelings for Emilia. 

Sure, it’s not her fault that Thrones’ made her into a totally evil power hungry queen devoid of empathy or logic. But that doesn’t stop a little part of me resenting her – HOW DARE SHE KILL ALL THOSE INNOCENT PEOPLE IN KINGS LANDING. 

Dragon queen. Source: Giphy

Emilia’s latest movie is a far cry away from Game of Thrones. 

The film is called Last Christmas (yes, it’s a Christmas film) and follows a Christmas shop employee called Kate (played by Emilia) who is down on herself and down on life for a few different reasons. 

Enter handsome love interest played by Crazy Rich Asians’ Henry Goulding and, suddenly, Kate’s perspective on life begins to change. 

It’s Christmas, it’s a love story, it has two great actors in it – on paper it’s right up my alley. 

But the trailer has me feeling all types of emotional turmoil. It doesn’t help that Emilia is still sporting her blonde hair in it and so looks a lot like Dany than she normally does (she’s a natural brunette). 

But Last Christmas might just redeem Daenerys. 

Seeing a blonde Emilia Clark dressed as an elf is (almost) redeeming enough. It’s comical and light-hearted and a definite contrast to Daenerys’s usual harsh leather look. 

But the most redeeming aspect of the movie is the plot: it’s, at its core, a redemption story. Think about it – it’s a story about a woman who has fallen from grace but eventually finds her feet again. 

This is something Game of Thrones never gave Daenerys the opportunity to do as she was – SPOILERS – killed before she could amend for her mistakes. Watching Emilia’s character in Last Christmas embark on a journey of self-discovery and self-improvement may be cathartic: this is what we wanted from Game of Thrones, this is what Daenerys was meant to be. 

Or maybe it will just be a fun, enjoyable, simple little Christmas movie we can enjoy with no emotional baggage. Yeah…probably that one. 

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