What Would Ed Sheeran’s All-Dude Version Of Lady Marmalade Have Looked Like?

Can't help but wonder.

Ed Sheeran is in hype mode for his upcoming album No. 6 Collaborations Project, which features Sheeran linking with different artists on each of its 15 tracks. It’s normal enough, but what is truly bizarre is the origin idea behind it all.

In an interview with Charlamagne Tha God, Ed Sheeran admitted this all started because he thought it might be a good idea to recreate ‘Lady Marmalade’ with Bruno Mars and Justin Bieber.

“This project actually started with one idea I had which was – you remember ‘Lady Marmalade’ right? This is such a silly idea — I had an idea of doing that, like you could get Bruno, Bieber and me on a record,” Sheeran told Charlamagne. “How fun would that be?”

Nothing against Ed Sheeran, but ‘Lady Marmalade’ is not within his range. He’s normy, no frills, nothing extra, jeans and t-shirt even when performing next to Beyoncé.

‘Lady Marmalade’ is glamour and raw sexuality, and fierce femininity and extreme extra-ness. How did Ed Sheeran see this, and see himself in it?

We are eternally grateful that Ed Sheeran’s all-dude remake of ‘Lady Marmalade’ never happened, but now we can’t help but imagine the ridiculous sight of Sheeran and his boys attempting to occupy this space.

*Seeing as Chance the Rapper is featuring on Ed Sheerans new album, he’s been cast as the fourth lady of the ‘Lady Marmalade’ core group. Missy Elliot has not been recast because that would be blasphemous.

So here it is, an Ed Sheeran all-dude ‘Lady Marmalade’ that is worse than the Moulin Rouge version in every way.

Are you not entertained?

Where’s all my soul sistas?

Lemme hear ya’ll flow, sistas.

Voulez-vous coucher avec moi, ce soir?

Creole Lady Marmalaaaaaaaaaaade.

OK that’s enough now. Please enjoy this glorious ‘Lady Marmalade’ masterpiece to refresh your palette.

Let’s Drop The 'Double Standard' Outrage Over Beyoncé And Ed Sheeran’s Disparate On Stage Outfits

Why is anyone even looking at Ed Sheeran when Beyoncé is right there?

At the Global Citizen Festival, Beyoncé looked incredible. No surprises here, as she is Beyoncé, but just look at her.

The thing with Beyoncé, is that most people look inferior next to her. Because they are. However, the extreme disparity between Yoncé and Ed Sheeran’s dress codes when they were on stage performing their duet ‘Perfect’, has kicked off a bit of a debate.

Beyoncé’s extravagance takes a lot of work, and Ed Sheeran’s ~look~ is about as minimalist as it gets. There’s definitely truth in the argument that female artists tend to need great amounts of artistry to their image to succeed, which is a standard men aren’t held to in the same way.

The double standards for men and women aesthetically is a tale as old as time, and it’s very sh*t.

However, making Beyoncé and Ed Sheeran the involuntary poster-children of that systemic issue is a swing and a miss. It’s like when everyone was outraged over that picture of Jennifer Lawrence in a fancy dress surrounded by men in jackets, and she clapped back to say that she chose to show off her dress, because she wanted to. Painting Beyoncé as a victim takes away from the bold sense of autonomy that defines her.

Ed Sheeran is very much a jeans and t-shirt guy, and Beyoncé is Beyoncé. And that’s OK.

If Ed Sheeran had been forced to wear something extravagant it would have felt wrong, and vice versa for Beyoncé going to Ed’s trés casual style. It’s also important to remember that for men, dressing extravagantly is still stigmatised (something that is being broken down, allowing the glory of Harry Styles’ suits).

Even though the double standards are a real part of our reality, raging over Beyoncé and Ed Sheeran is not the way to solve it. You just end up shaming Ed Sheeran for wearing something that anyone should be allowed to wear.

For an optimistic look at how the industry may be improving (at least the Australian industry), just take a look at the casual aesthetic of artists like Amy Shark or Mallrat, who are absolutely owning it at the moment.

Let’s just enjoy how hard Beyoncé is outshining Ed Sheeran on that stage. The way it is meant to be.

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