Bleats

The Best Sports Footage Of 2019 Is This Extremely Small, Fast, Good Girl At The Westminster Dog Show

Eight inches of BEAST MODE.

The annual Westminster Kennel Club Dog Show is always full of extremely good boys and girls with hair that will make you throw your phone across the room in envy.

But just like in life, it’s not all about who is the most beautiful and well-mannered.

No, the real heroes of the WKC are the dogs who compete in the Olympics of Westminster: the agility competition. It’s not about who’s pretty or nice; about who goes the f**king hardest and takes no prisoners.

And this year, our hero is Gabby, a papillon terrier who’s eight inches of pure beast mode.

On the outside, Gabby might look like a fairy-type Pokemon, hilariously teeny and fluffier than a tampon that’s been in your handbag for two months.

On the inside, she’s Usain Bolt. She’s Serena. She’s Dwayne The Rock Johnson. She floats like a butterfly, because she weighs the same as one (and also “papillon” means butterfly in French, nerds).

Sadly, her 39-second run did not win the entire competition. A Pennsylvania border collie named Verb with a Cobra Kai intensity in his eyes took out the title at 32 seconds, probably because he’s about seven times longer than Gabby.

But Gabby is the champion of our hearts, because she does everything at 110% – even high fives.

Gabby is the energy I’m taking into 2019.

California Has Banned Pet Shops From Selling Animals That Aren't Rescues, And Australia Should Do The Same

Finally, some good news.

Some heartwarming news for the new year: as of January 1 2019, it will become illegal to sell animals in California pet shops that aren’t sourced from shelters.

Violating the law is punishable by a fine of US$500.

With a population of almost 40 million people – nearly double all of Australia – that’s a huge market that’s been made a bit more ethical.

A similar law was implemented in Victoria in mid-2018, with the added caveat that private breeders can only have a certain number of fertile female animals.

Given that over 43,000 animals are put down every year in Australian animal shelters, laws like this could help the critters who aren’t put down for medical or behavioural reasons get adopted instead.

They may decrease demand for animals from unethical high-volume breeders, which makes the mill business model less appealing – and, possibly more importantly, it puts the beautiful, loving animals living in shelters in front of people who might not have gone out of their way to get a pet from the pound.

#AdoptDontShop is a great mantra – but #ShopAdopted is a close second.

This First Look At John Wick 3 Gives You Two More Dogs To Be Really Worried About, As Well As That Horse

I'm so stressed about this already.

The John Wick franchise is as notorious for being kicking off by a dog murder as it is for, well, all the other murders in it.

I mean, part of the joy of seeing Keanu Reeves take out, at the internet’s best estimate, 84 people in the first movie and 128 in the second is remembering that he was retired and just chilling at home until the bad guys killed his puppy.

Also, in order to be as beloved as the John Wick series even after starting by making your audience sit through a dog murder, you have to make a really f**king good action movie. Which they did. Two of them. Only one of which have dog murders.

The third in the franchise, the creatively titled John Wick: Chapter Three, is out in May 2019, and we got our first taste of it with a set photo featuring Keanu riding an actual horse through city traffic.

Now we’ve got our for-real official First Look from the threequel, and I’m sorry to have to tell you that you now have not only a horse but two more dogs to worry about.

Plus Halle Berry – although she can probably handle herself.

Entertainment Weekly confirms that JW3 kicks off with Wick still on the run after the end of the second movie, meeting up with Berry and her two action-ready Belgian Malinois good boys in the Middle East.

We don’t have any more pictures from the movie, but here is another picture of a Belgian Malinois being handsome and good.

The cast also features Billions’ Asia Kate Dillon and Anjelica Huston, but let’s be real – everyone’s going to be looking at the dogs, worrying about the dogs, admiring the dogs’ insane action choreography, and silently vowing to murder anyone who hurts the dogs.

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