There's A Very Good Reason Why This Classic Disney Film Won't Get A Modern Remake

Some nostalgia is worth neglecting.

It seems as though Disney are working their way through the film archives finding classic properties which they can remake, update, live-action or put photorealistic lions into.

However, there’s one Disney film which won’t be getting a modern remake, though. And that is 1946’s Song of the South.

Because it’s pretty goddamn racist.

Defenders exist, of course. The film is set in the 1870s, when slavery was no longer a thing (although it in no way makes that clear); it has a black actor in the lead (James Baskett as Uncle Remus), and the live action plot focusses on adorable tow-headed tyke Johnny who reveres Remus and immediately befriends Toby (the ur-example of “I have a black friend!”); and so HOW IS THAT RACIST?

It’s arguably well intentioned for its time, but even so: all the black characters are cartoonishly happy with their lot as economically inferior to their white bosses on the plantation, all the while remaining cheerfully deferential to the white characters, speaking in broken ebonics and a strong message about there being a Way Things Should Be where everyone is happy with their lot.

It even has the Magical Black Person trope, when Uncle Remus’ sonorous tones are what awakens Johnny from his post bull-attack coma. There’s a lot going on.

As it happens, Baskett didn’t get to attend the Atlanta premiere of the film in which he starred: not because he wasn’t invited by Disney, but because no local hotel would let him stay.

In the wake of all this Disney have quietly disowned the film. it won’t be on the Disney+ service, it’s the only Disney film never to get a blu-ray or DVD release, and it last saw a cinema for its controversial 40th anniversary screening in 1986.

Still, the film lives on as the Splash Mountain ride (based on the Brer Rabbit sections of the film) and in the Oscar winning song ‘Zip-a-Dee-Doo-Dah’, which is now forever ruined for you.

And it could be argued that the far-more-on-tone Disney film Zootopia is kinda-sorta a remake of the film, taking the rabbit and fox characters and explicitly addressing the issue of race.

Oh god. If that Cats movie is successful we’re going to see a live action Zootopia, aren’t we? Sexy rabbits and all.

Robert Pattinson Says He Smells Like A Crayon And I Need To Know Which Colour

Another wild yarn from R-Patz.

Robert Pattinson has gained quite a reputation for spinning wild yarns during interviews, but his most recent comments on his body odour have me truly shaken.

In a recent interview with Allure the star of the upcoming The Batman film said, “Lots of people tell me I smell like a crayon.”

The interviewer – understandably bewildered by this statement – then asked, “Like you’re made of wax?”

To which R-Patz responded, “Yes! Like I’m embalmed.”

I have so many questions. What colour crayon does Pattinson smell like? What brand? Is he using lots of crayons? And most importantly, who are these multiple people who are telling him he smells like crayon!? Is that an insult, or a compliment?

It’s not the first time Robert Pattinson’s scent has come up in conversation. Back in 2009, E! News reported that an unidentified source who worked “very closely” with the actor on New Moon said “he stinks.”

“I mean, it’s awful,” the source said. “He never showers, and it drives people on the set crazy.”

“He completely reeks,” an unidentified crew member added. Yikes.

It’s been over a decade since then, so we can only hope Robert Pattinson has swapped his lack of showering for an obsession with crayons. 

Speaking of celebrity scents, celebrity tattoo artist Lauren Winzer dishes on what Post Malone smells like on It’s Been A Big Day For…below:

During his interview with Allure, Pattinson was also asked about being recently named the “most handsome man” in the world according to science.

“It’s weird,” he said. “I never was really up for the good-looking-guy roles, because I’ve always been quite awkward when meeting people.”

“My Harry Potter role was a good-looking guy, and it was a shock that it was quite easy to get. And then in Twilight, [Edward is] beautiful, beautiful, beautiful. When I turned up for the auditions, I had done a job where I’d dyed my hair black, because I had an inch and a half of roots, and I had waxed my body. And then I had a few months where I’d been drinking beer all day, so I had this hairless, chubby body. I looked like a baby with a wig on.”

Hairless, chubby, waxed or smelling like a crayon – we’ll take Robert Pattinson any which way.

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