Bleats

Can Tarzan Swing On Vines Using His Arse Cheeks, An Investigation

Kegels of the jungle.

Tarzan is the loin-cloth wearing, ab owning, vine swinging ape-human of my dreams. He’s an impressive specimen, physically and physiologically. The dude can do some pretty insane stuff with his body.

Surfing along tree trunks, swing between trees on jungle vines and defeating a leopard in a one-on-one fight is not normal human behaviour.

Look at him go! Source: Giphy

There’s a meme floating around that suggest Tarzan is even stronger than we all realise. I present you with Tarzan’s butt clenching ability:

When I first saw the meme this way me: 

Also, damn son. Source: Giphy

But now I mostly have a bunch of questions like, is that even possible? How did Tarzan figure out he could do that? And holy hell, how do you treat butt crack rope burn? 

Ouch. Source: Giphy

I’ve done some research- which just means I did a bunch of Googling- to try and figure out if it is physically possible for a human to develop enough butt strength to clench their way from vine to vine like Tarzan. 

The result? Inconclusive.  

But, if Tarzan could could really grip with his butt, he probably suffered from severe lower back and hip pain as well as restricted movement in his pelvis

When your gluteus maximus, the main muscle in your bum, overworks your other muscles stop working properly and, therefore, weaken. This includes your core. But there’s now way Tarzan has a weak core- just look at the man:

Hellooooo. Source: Giphy

Now that we got that sorted it’s probably time for me to point out Tarzan isn’t actually gripping the vine with his butt-he’s using his feet. Look closely. 

He’s also shown earlier in the movie swinging by his feet so that theory makes a bit more sense.

So if he can’t swing by his butt, does it at least make sense he could swing by his feet? 

I vote no. Holding yourself upright from your feet is impossible because of one main thing- gravity. The weight of your body combined with gravity would pull you forward, even if you had abs of steel like Tarzan.

Let’s give Tarzan the benefit of the doubt here- he’s got momentum to help him stay upright. Basically, his swinging between vines generates enough force to help him stay upright. 

But his toes…are a human’s toes really strong enough to grip and hold like hands? (Yes, i Googled ‘foot grip strength’ to find the answer).

In theory I say yes. Our hands and feet both have five appendages- if our hands can be trained to hold onto stuff then so can our feet. 

The research suggests the same. Toe grip is a complex motion that works similar to hand grip. It requires the use of several muscles, which function differently from person to person depending on their body weight, arch of their foot and flexibility. Toe grip strength can be increased by training, so Tarzan using his feet to swing between vines is very possible. 

After all, he was raised by apes which means he was probably using his feet as second hands his whole life. 

I wouldn’t suggest you go and do monkey bars using your feet, but props to Tarzan. Jane did good. 

Yeah yeah, no need to be smug about it. Source: Giphy

If You’re Cut About Disney Axing Seedy Pete From Toy Story, You’re Missing The Point

There's a snake in my movie.

Disney has been making a conscious and notable effort to change sexist narratives in their films in the wake of the #MeToo movement. 

Their live-action remakes have become increasingly female focused and reimagined female characters as empowered leads. Just think about how real life Belle and Princess Jasmine differ from the cartoon versions. 

Empowered. Source: Giphy

Disney are leading the charge against the sexist norms of the past and reshaping how our world thinks about feminism, respect and equality. 

Their latest move was a subtle one but very important: they deleted a sexist scene from Toy Story 2

The scene was a Hollywood casting couch-style scenario and featured Stinky Pete the Prospector chatting saucily to two Barbie dolls, stroking their hands and suggesting he could get them a part in the next movie. 

You know the scenario. If you’re a female I’m sad to say you might even be familiar with it: old fat man pressures young beautiful woman to exchange sexual favours for career support. 

It makes my skin crawl but it’s a narrative which has been quite common not only in Hollywood but in the real world. Hence, #MeToo. 

The scene in Toy Story 2 is not funny and definitely not necessary to the plot. 

Disney’s decision to re-edit the movie proves they are tuned into current social issues and are self-aware: while they can’t erase their past missteps, they can course correct and work towards change. 

Disney can and are working to change the future. 

I’m not just talking about the future of film- although they are definitely working to change the industry for females- I also mean our future. 

I might love Toy Story as an adult but it’s first and foremost a children’s film and always will be. I don’t’ want my child growing up watching scenes like this one with Prospector Pete and thinking that type of sexist behaviour is okay. 

I don’t want my daughter to think a man of any age, background or profession can use her ambition as leverage for sex. 

If Disney decided to keep the sexist scene in Toy Story 2 they would be perpetuating sexist ways of thinking in young children. Essentially, they would have been saying “this is okay.”

It’s definitely not okay. Thank goodness Disney knows it. 

I Never Realised How Much I Needed Middle Eastern Representation In Film Until I Watched Aladdin

Friend like ME.

Labelling yourself is a hard thing to do. On paper I’m a 23-year-old female, 154 centimetres (short, I know), and of Lebanese descent.

When I look in the mirror I see another layer to me that isn’t communicated on paper. I have brown hair, green eyes, one nostril that’s obviously smaller than the other, and super small and veiny hands.

If someone had a conversation with me, they’d get even more information.

My point is that defining a human being is hard: we’ve all got multiple layers and unique nuances that make us US.

I understand people’s desire to see themselves represented in the media. Seeing yourself in the stories people love and are talking about is comforting and empowering. It lets you know that society sees you without having to explicitly say as much.

I understand the desire, but I’ve never related to it. Even though I am of Arabic descent, I consider myself to be Australian. I’ve never felt ostracised for my ethnicity or different from my friends, even with my bushy eyebrows. Maybe that makes me lucky, I don’t know. But it’s just my normal. So I’ve never been desperate to see myself or my culture represented on screen.

Until I watched Aladdin.

Right from the opening sequence, the film hit me deep in my core. I felt an unexpected pride spread through my chest as Arabic music began to play and beautiful shots of sand dunes and Middle Eastern market places filled the screen.

It was all so beautiful to me and realising it was part of my heritage made it even more beautiful.

It was also jarring. To relate to the things I was seeing felt weird. To recognise the instruments in the music and find comfort in the familiar Arabic accents of the actors was something I am definitely not used to when watching big Hollywood blockbusters. The Margot Robbies and Leonardo Di Caprios of the world favour big city lights to village candle sticks and magic carpets.

Sorry, Margot.

This isn’t to say I’m suddenly going to stop enjoying watching movies with white actors.  The Avengers are all pure bred white people and I will forever love those movies.

But Aladdin did help me realise how much I need Middle Eastern representation in film.

Watching the credits and seeing names like Mena Massoud (who plays Aladdin) roll down the screen was comforting. It’s a reminder to me that despite belonging to a culture that most of the world doesn’t understand, and despite my parents strict rules, I am capable of big things.

More importantly, it also gives me joy for others. I know Aladdin will be a beacon of hope for the people who still live in Lebanon and Egypt and Saudi Arabia. The people who didn’t have a privileged upbringing like I have and the people who face daily discrimination. Aladdin gives them a little bit of magic, and I’m not just talking about flying carpets and genies.

The magic is seeing themselves and their loved ones and culture represented in a way that matters to the world. In a POSITIVE way. That’s the real magic.

Mena Massoud was born in Cairo. He moved to Canada when he was young, was raised as a Coptic Orthodox Christian and attended a Catholic school.

Naomi Scott (who plays Princess Jasmine) is of Gujarati Indian and English descent. She’s not Middle Eastern but that doesn’t matter- her dark skin and exotic beauty makes just as much of a statement.

Marwan Kenzari (Jafar) is of Dutch-Tunisian background. He grew up in The Netherlands and has a dutch accent when he speaks, but can grow a full beard and rocks a turban like it’s nobody’s business.

The entire movie is full of actors and extras just like them and just like you and me. The sons and daughters of Englishmen, immigrants and people who are even immigrants themselves. Aladdin is a melting pot of culture and that translates beautifully onto the screen.

Who would’ve thought a Disney movie could do so well what Hollywood has been failing to do for years? Diversity in film isn’t an easy feat but it isn’t an impossible one either.

Sometimes all it takes is some traditional costumes, some bushy eyebrows and luscious beards, and a culturally rich soundtrack to add important depth to a film. The kind of depth you just can’t get on paper.

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