Bleats

In Today's Edition Of Things That Shouldn't Happen, The Joker And Harley Quinn Spinoff Movie Will Be Like A Mix Of Bad Santa And This Is Us

Fitting that the resulting combo will be "This Is Bad".

Joaquin Phoenix may be slipping into clown make-up for the upcoming solo Joker film, but we haven’t seen the last of Jared Leto’s version of the Clown Prince of Crime just yet.

Among the many Joker orientated movies being developed by Warner Bros. right now despite the steaming heap that was Suicide Squad, one of these projects is a Joker and Harley Quinn spinoff, which will see Margot Robbie reprise her role of Harley.

And if that sounds like a terrible idea, well, that’s because it is.

In a new report from Metro, the movie’s writers Glenn Ficarra and John Requa said their their take on the spinoff will be a cross between Bad Santa and This Is Us in terms of sensibility and the focus will be on Joker and Harley’s relationship problems. Yeah.

There aren’t many good things to say about Suicide Squad but Harley and Joker’s relationship certainly isn’t on that tiny list, which makes the overall concept of their spinoff film completely baffling. Bad Santa and This Is Us are good in their own right, but combining them makes as much sense as twerking on Uluru after being explicitly told not to do it.

As strange as this odd crossover is, the writers are doubling down on the relationship angle, so much so that Ficarra says that the movie begins with Harley kidnapping Dr. Phil and forcing him to fix her and Joker’s relationship. And the kicker? Dr. Phil will be played by Dr. Phil.

God I hope that was a joke because adding Dr. Phil to anything does the complete opposite of making it better.

As for when we will see this bonkers spinoff, Requa has no idea when production will begin since the DC movie slate is constantly in a state of flux.

Now it’s still way too early to determine whether this idea will be a hit or miss, but I would like to point out that combining This Is Us and Bad Santa results in something called “This Is Bad”. Just saying.

Joaquin Phoenix In Full Blown Joker Make-Up Is So Goddamn Creepy It Will Wipe Any Thoughts Of Batman's Penis From Your Memory

Cancel that planned Jared Leto Joker movie now because this one is looking better and better every passing minute.

After Todd Phillips, director of the upcoming solo Joker movie, dropped the first ever look of Joaquin Phoenix as the titular character (named Arthur) sans make-up the other day, my thoughts on the look fell somewhere in the ballpark of “goddamn he looks seedy yet it works for me”.

Well it may be time to change my opinion once again because Phillips has now released a new clip of Phoenix as the Joker, only this time we see him in what appears to be his full clown make-up.

And boy does it look so freaking creepy. I’m talking about “and now I’m scared of clowns” creepy.

Much like how Heath Ledger’s version of the character was dirty and scarred, and Jared Leto’s version was just plain weird, Phoenix’s Joker take is distinctive enough that it just works. Plus the bloke is just so effortlessly seedy, which just accentuate’s the character’s creepiness even more.

The make-up also gives us a glimpse into what this version of the Joker may be. There’s no scars or stupid grills in his teeth just plain red, white, and blue face paint, which suggests that the movie will indeed be the big character piece Phillips teased.

Now I really can’t wait to see what Phoenix does with the Joker and if he decides to go full-on I’m Still Here method, we’re in for something special.

After a couple of days of the comic book spotlight light being hogged by Batman’s penis, it almost seems fitting that all the attention was wrestled back by his greatest nemesis.

You Can See Batman's Penis In A New Issue Of The Actual Comic, And It's About Time We Get Used To Non-Sexual Non-Female Nudity In Pop Culture

It's the first but hopefully not the last time Batman shows off his Batmanhood.

We’ve seen Batman fight his nemesis the Joker countless times over the years. We’ve seen him get his back broken by Bane. Hell, we’ve even seen him indulge in some crossfit before a big showdown with Superman in Batman V Superman: Dawn of Justice.

But the release of issue one of the new comic series Batman: Damned sees the Dark Knight doing something he’s never done before in all his decades of defending Gotham City: hang out with his wang out.

Batman Damned sees the Caped Crusader struggling with memory loss and a possible intrusive entity living in his head. To figure out what’s wrong, he heads to the Batcave, where he immediately strips down for a full body scan.

This whole sequence is lovingly drawn with several close-ups of Bruce Wayne’s physique, naked butt, and a mostly-in-shadow but clearly outlined shaft which is … looks like a regular, anatomically correct penis. I mean, I don’t know what we expected from Batman’s trouser snake, but it is completely and relatably unspectacular.

I’m actually more surprised at Wayne’s lack of scars and injuries after all his years of fighting crime. Hell, if there is anything that’s unrealistic about the whole sequence, it’s Batman’s blemish-free physique.

 

https://twitter.com/Undead_Marston/status/1042494509190471680

The sight of Batman’s schlong triggered quite the response online and reactions have ranged anywhere from disgust (grow up, broflakes) to mirth, all of which is probably not too surprising.

But the gamut of online responses aside, this is actually a great step forward in terms of normalising tasteful, non-gratuitous, non-boob-based nudity in media.

Nudity in pop culture, for the most part, is predominantly focused on the (cis) female body. Sure there have been the occasional non-female butt and/or penis shown here and there, but those moments have always been held at an arm’s length away when compared to breasts and (much more rarely) vulvas.

Penises may be generally associated with most things R18+, but they can also be used to express things beyond those of a sexual nature. Just as how some might use a naked woman to represent vulnerability, natural private behaviour, and confidence, a naked penis is a perfectly suitable counterpart to represent those same attributes.

We shouldn’t be so “terrified” of seeing tasteful non-female nudity because it is a simple part of life and we’re all just human at the end of the day. A penis is as beautiful as a set of boobs or a butt, so why shy away from it?

It’s about time we normalise the idea of seeing relevant nudity, sexualised or otherwise, in media and embrace scenes featuring penises (in a tasteful way).

Batman may have finally shown off his Dick Grayson for the first time, but hopefully it won’t be the last.

Pop-up Channel

Follow Us