Bleats

Trees Now Have Their Own Tinder-Style App For Those Of You Who Wanna Hug It Out

Who needs Tinder when you got Timber?

With the recent release of Tudder, a Tinder-style dating app for cows, you’d think we’ve officially jumped the shark when it comes to helping people and living creatures find companionship.

Well you’d be wrong.

Introducing Timber, the latest dating app that matches tree lovers with beautiful trees!

I will never leaf you.

Described as “the first ever dating service matching tree lovers with beautiful trees around the globe, Timber was developed by Hasqvarna, a Swedish outdoor power equipment company, in collaboration with social media agency Stendhals.

Working like a much more wholesome Tinder with less dick pics and more puns, Timber allows its tree-loving users to swipe left or right until they match with the tree of their dreams.

And who said romance in 2019 was dead?

This was designed clearly as a goofy Valentine’s Day thing, as well as a spoof on dating apps, but the effort gone into some of the trees’ profiles is far more than what we see on actual dating apps.

The photos are high quality, there are no confusing group shots, no mirror selfies to be found, and the descriptions are top notch.

Seriously, here are some of these great tree profile descriptions:

  • Eucalyptus, 250 years old, “I come from a land down under”
  • Magnolia, 90 years old – “I’m a late bloomer”
  • Elm, 75 years old – “I love horror movies”
  • Cherry, 18 years old – “There’s a reason they call it ‘cherry on top’”

If only Tinder profiles were as wholesome and well thought out as Timber then the whole dating thing would be so much simpler.

Rejection Sucks, So This Bloke Decided To Ease Everyone's Pain By Sharing Funny Stories Of Being Turned Down And I Honestly Feel Much Better Now

Nothing like some laughter at someone else's misfortune to take the pain away.

Dating is hard. First you got to meet someone you fancy, then there has to be some kind of initial chemistry or spark, and finally, there’s the dreaded moment when you finally ask them out.

If you get a “yes”, then that’s just awesome.

But if you get a “no”, well, that just sucks and there’s no other way around it.

Having been at the receiving end of many no’s, a bloke by the name of Jake decided to help everyone with their rejection pain by sharing stories on Twitter about the funniest ways girls have turned him down.

Much respect to Jake for doing this because not everyone has his level of confidence to quickly move on from a “no”, and no one wants to relive a rejection twice yet he’s doing it to help others out.

And honestly, his stories are pretty damn funny.

Some were just painful, like being put on hold for 45 mins before being completely ghosted…

Some made no sense or were just plain confusing for poor Jake…

And then there were stories where it was straightforward, clever, and most importantly, funny…

Hats off to you, Jake, for helping us all get over our own painful rejections through the power of laughter.

I guess if a rejection is inevitable, at least make it funny so you have a story to tell whenever a friend or a bunch of strangers on the internet is feeling a little down after being told no.

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