Bleats

The Loneliest Frog In The World Found A Mate After Being Alone For Ten Years, So There’s Still Hope For You Too

Look at his little face!

Like light breaking softly from yonder window, let this little bit of hopeful news make your day a bit brighter.

Romeo was long thought to be quite possibly the last Sehuencas water frog in existence, living alone in a tank in a Bolivian natural history institute. No wild frogs had been found since 2008, and discovering some wild individuals to breed in captivity was the species’ last hope.

The scientists in charge of Romeo built a campaign to help find some other frogs, even making him a Twitter account and a Match.com profile page.

Here’s an excerpt for you to steal for your Tinder bio:

“I’m a pretty simple guy. I tend to keep to myself and have the best nights just chilling at home, maybe binge-watching the waters around me. I do love food, though, and will throw a pair of pants on and get out of the house if there’s a worm or snail to be eaten!”

Look at his face! Look how hopeful and happy he is!

He’s spent a solid decade working on himself, learning to be comfortable in his own slimy skin, and now he’s ready to make a commitment.

In fact, he’s even ready for kids.

Now a small population of frogs has been discovered in a Bolivian cloud forest, and a group has been retrieved for the captive breeding program: five in all, including a Juliet for our Romeo.

And mate, you’re in luck, because she is a BABE. As frogs go. I think.

So if you’re feeling a bit personally attacked by the Valentine’s Day gear starting to pop up in supermarkets when you’re just trying to buy your ready meals for one, fear not. If the world’s loneliest frog can find someone, there’s hope for you – because you, too, are one of a kind. 

Just head down to your local cloud forest, and keep an open mind.

This Brand-New Couple Who Went On The Greatest, Loosest, Most Successful Blind Date Ever Are Your New Heroes

We should all be more like these glorious loose units.

Dating, in general, is basically garbage, and blind dates in particular are a minefield of awkwardness. So god bless The Guardian for setting up what might be the greatest blind date ever, and then bringing us the story.

The UK news site’s regular Blind Dates feature does what it says on the tin – sets up two people and then interviews them afterwards about how it went.

The most recent column saw Joanne and Morgan, both 24, heading out for some negronis. Then they had some wine, and then they crashed a party. And they made out a LOT.

Here’s Joanne’s take:

First impressions?
Cute, chatty and early.

Sweet!

What did you talk about?
I can’t really remember much after four negronis and wine but: books, scumbag Tories, coming out.

Bless them.

Any awkward moments?
Probably when we got kicked out of the house party we crashed. And leaving my knickers behind. I think I also fell over at some point.

WAIT WHAT. FANTASTIC.

Good table manners?
Excellent, we both spoke with our mouths full.

These girls are my people.

Here’s Morgan:

Good table manners?
Who really cares?

Best thing about Joanne?
She is obscenely fun.

I LOVE THEM SO MUCH.

Both gave the date 10/10 and said they’d be seeing each other again next week.

And they kind of have to, now, because with 18,000 shares and counting, the internet is now obsessed with them and their perfectly messy, joyful, bonkers  first date.

The Guardian’s weekend editor:

And in a follow-up after the story blew up, Joanne assured all the anxious shippers that they’d continued to see each other and would be in a “full-time relationship” once she’d finished her pottery course. (Sure, babe, you focus on you first.)

So if you’re single – or even if you’re not – and you haven’t decided which energy you’re taking into 2019, consider “four negronis, losing your knickers at a random house party and making out heaps” as a strong option.

If your next date doesn’t have that energy, why even settle for less?

The Genius Savings Idea Going Viral Turns Your New Relationship Energy Into Cold Hard Cash, Whether You Crash And Burn Or Not

The F**k Yes Fund keeps it both romantic and real.

When you start a new relationship, you don’t want to think about where it might end up – at least not straight away. Sure, you might idly daydream about your friends telling cute How They Met stories at your tasteful yet boozy vineyard wedding, or experience sudden moments of foreshadowing of how their verbal tics or odd little habits might start driving you up the wall in three to five years.

But mostly you just want to say in your little honeymoon-period bubble of long talks, epic sex, and dates where you actually make an effort.

Although everyone knows the couch phase is the best.

But one Reddit user has a brilliant argument for why you should be thinking about the end right from the beginning.

“Whenever I start a new relationship I start putting away 50 dollars a month in a savings account,” explained user u/TreyRodex.

“I’m a big romantic so I intend on using this money, in the event this girl is ‘the one’, towards an engagement ring far down the road.

“Subsequently, if the relationship turns goes bad and ends in a breakup, I cash out the savings and splurge on myself as part of my healing and moving on phase. Is this idea brilliant or am I putting too much attention on these extremes?”

Judging by the 20,000 upvotes and counting, Redditors were super on board.

“I did this in 2016,” says another user in the thread’s top comment.

“Had a few thousand saved for a ring. We broke up so I bought a motorcycle with it. No ragrets.

“We got back together though so I had to restart savings…still have the bike though :)”

Me, to all my exes.

“My fiancé did this!” reads one comment. “He told me about it after he proposed so I always tease him and call it my Italian ring because that’s where he would’ve gone.”

If you put a measly $50 away in your “love/self-love” fund every month, after three years, you’ll have $1800 sitting there waiting. Then you don’t go broke moving out, moving in together, or popping the question.

Either that, or you just have pocket money to spend on a new bed, all the tequila, airfares, the six-inch heels he didn’t want you to wear because he was insecure about his height, or the toy they said was a waste of money.

It’s been 5 months still miss her like crazy….. but I have a really fast bike. It helps a little.”

It’s not that far off from the idea of a F**k Off Fund – a just-in-case fund separate to your long-term savings that means you never have to stay in a job or a relationship that turns ugly for one second longer than you have to.

Whereas a FOF is a sort of self-insurance, this is more of a F**k-Yes Fund: whatever happens with this exciting new relationship in the long run, you have a little money to say f**k yes to either the beginning of a life together, or f**k yes to doing whatever you want now you’re single again.

It’s brilliant because it’s open-ended, and both hopefully romantic, and coldly pragmatic.

Because whether you get your fairytale ending or not, s**t costs money.

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