Global warming is a very real issue that’s happening as we speak. Not only are temperatures fluctuating wildly, scientists have even put a date on when climate change will bring an end to human civilisation as we know it.
Fixing this is going to take a while and we’re going to have to deal with the effects of global warming in the meantime. While most people get around this by wearing fewer layers or cranking up the aircon, some woman in the UK have an more, uh, unorthodox way of cooling down.
According to Metro.co.uk, the UK is in the middle of a sweltering heatwave and women have decided to cool themselves down by shoving ice blocks up their vaginas.
Now I’m not a woman and am ignorant about many things but even I know that putting ice blocks in body orifices where cold desserts aren’t meant to be isn’t a good idea. Just think of the stickiness or having the ice block break off inside you. Ugh.
Aside from the stickiness and stained underwear, there are actual health risks that come with sticking icy poles in and around your junk.
Dr Sarah Welsh tells Metro that ice blocks can cause damage, trauma, and infections to the vagina’s “very delicate and sensitive” skin. She says that putting food of any kind into a vagina can “introduce microbes”, which will disrupt its normal balance and cause infectious bacteria to grow.
Finally, Dr Welsh says that the sugar in an ice block can also mess with the natural pH of the vagina, which can result in thrush and/or irritation. For those who think they can get around it with a sugar-free option, just don’t because that’s just as bad and sticky.
So to all the Brits who are thinking of getting around global warming by shoving ice blocks up themselves, do yourself and your vagina a favour and just eat them normally. You know, like how you’re meant to use an ice block.