Christmas celebrations come in all sorts of fun and not so fun sizes. Gorging yourself on Christmas dinner and staring at the lights on the tree while regretting that last potato? Fantastic. Having to talk to those relatives you hate? Not so great. I’m calling it though: Elf on the Shelf is a creepy tradition that is teaching kids how to live in a surveillance state.
Now I can already hear you yelling at me that Santa has been watching us for years, and using the threat of surveillance to get kids to behave during the holidays is nothing new. You would be correct, but Santa always watched from afar. Elf on the Shelf sits there in plain view and judges you all day every day. Honestly, just instal a security camera and be done with it.
If you haven’t come across the elf and his buddies yet, the idea is that you adopt an elf who flies back to the North Pole every night. The elf tells Santa what he’s seen and comes back in the morning, hiding somewhere fun for the kids to find.
Imagine for a minute that a guy turns up in your home one day and just sits around staring at you. His whole job is to watch your every move, and then he tells your boss about it in the evening. Because that’s essentially what we’re forcing on kids with these elf dolls.
It’s not even just the Elf on the Shelf. There are tons of apps that let you call and text Santa to dob in bad behaviour. Another app that lets you edit Santa into your house as if you’d filmed him. Even remote controlled baubles that will turn red if you’ve been naughty and green if you’re nice.
It’s been a big year for bad baubles after all.
Christmas is supposed to be about fun and love, and your home is supposed to be where you can relax and not worry about the outside world tracking your every move. Nobody needs a narc elf wrecking both of those things.
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