Bad gifts: they’re a dilemma society’s been dealing with since the first Christmas. You really mean to tell me myrrh was on fetus Jesus’ wishlist? The obvious solution is regifting, an unnecessarily taboo practice. Because what is regifting other than sharing the love around? Besides, it’s way better to give a pressie a second life than let it go to waste.
Contrary to popular belief, in most cases the best time to regift is ASAP. One, a layer of dust isn’t going to make the item(s) more appealing, and two, you’re less likely to get caught shrink wrap-handed by the relos if you can shunt the bad gift fast.
Before we get into specifics, the most crucial step is to keep a list of what you received and from whom. That way you’ll avoid giving the duds back to the people who gave them to go, and you can also throw them off your scent with ingratiating thank you cards. After all, there’s already way too much awkwardness at the family Christmas without throwing a regifting scandal into the mix.
Scenario 1: You already own the gift
This is the easiest situation to be in, because even if you are exposed you have an airtight defence. ‘It’s such a great gift that I had already bought myself one!’ is sure to appease.
Here, January/February birthdays are your salvation. Your regift will still basically be fresh off the shelf, so even if it’s tech (or anything else that goes obsolete in mere months) it can still be appreciated. And after everyone’s blown the budget over Christmas, I’m sure your new year baby pals will be thankful for anything more than a slightly sheepish greeting card.
Scenario 2: You’ll never use it
The phrase ‘it’s the thought that counts’ comes to mind. At the end of the day, there’s no such thing as a perfect gift – social science even says so. There’s no need to feel guilty about being disappointed when you know it can be regifted to someone who will find it useful.
If it’s the sort of gift you can open without breaking a seal, hold off on regifting til the next time the sender swings by. We’ve all been in a funky-vase-that-Grandma-loved-but-it-doesn’t-match-the-decor situation. Invite her for a totally inconspicuous lunch in a few months and oh, would you look at that centrepiece! If it’s a clothing item, make sure you’ve gone to at least one event wearing it, snap a pic, and social it – just make sure you’ve got your privacy set to ‘family only’.
If it is sealed, but not time sensitive, then keep it in your ‘spare gifts’ box. You cannot over-prepare for the moment you get a sneaky last-minute invite to a high school peer’s housewarming, and you want to avoid spending $100 on scented candles for someone you haven’t spoken to in half a decade.
Scenario 3: It’s a custom gift
There is a third, worst-case scenario: the gift is incredibly specific to you and/or custom made. I’m talking personalised mugs with your name and a Minion Quote, and the frog figurines you still get every year from your aunt, because you told her they were your favourite animals when you were 8. Look, I don’t know what to tell you bud. Sometimes you can’t even risk an op-shop without travelling interstate. Back of the closet it is!
Time to get practising your best ‘grateful gift recipient’ impression! And by that, I mean start taking some cues from the kid in the avocado Vine. Now there’s a guy who really appreciates the effort.
