Every year, social media feeds are flooded with people going on about New Year’s resolutions. The most common ones are along the lines of losing weight, getting fit/healthy, learning a language, quitting smoking, and saving money.
Most are actually achievable goals. But we set ourselves up for failure when we infuse them with special meaning all because the date on the calendar has changed.
Instead of making changes because you want to, you’re making changes because everyone else is – it’s not a genuine decision born from a desire to improve yourself, it’s just another box to check off over the holiday period.
It’s far easier to make changes when the actual motivation is there – when you realise your bank account is in overdraft for the tenth time this year, or when you realise your pack-a-day habit has become a two-pack-a-day habit.
For me, the key is to start small. If you want to learn a language, start by using Duolingo for five or 10 minutes everyday – on the bus, on the train, in the bathroom at work. Once you’ve established that habit, then you can sign up for language classes, which are a significant commitment in a way Duolingo isn’t.
If you want to get fit, start by going for walks around the block, or jogging with your dog, or cycling with your lizard (I’m trying to be inclusive of all lifestyles here). Don’t commit to an expensive year-long gym membership until you’ve actually established the habit of regularly taking time to work out.
According to Charles Duhigg, an expert on behavioural psychology, most people fail to adopt new habits because they don’t adequately reward themselves for taking action on a beneficial habit.
Habits like smoking or drinking have built-in rewards; they flood your brain with dopamine. Excessive online shopping results in an endless stream of exciting purchases arriving at your door. But the benefits of longer term lifestyle changes, like quitting smoking or eating healthier, don’t give us any immediate gratification.
Find a way to reward yourself for trying to adopt a positive habit. Eat something delicious, or veg out for a while, or play your favourite game for the next half hour. Science recommends it – studies have shown that eating a small amount of chocolate after working out releases similar chemicals in your brain to those eventually released by the workout itself.
Try not to worry about what your friends are doing, either. Your parents were right when they encouraged you to ignore peer pressure. Finding a friend who’s also keen to exercise or learn a language is great, but there’s a difference between that and doing something just because all your friends are. If you aren’t doing it because you want to, then it isn’t going to stick.
Don’t set yourself up for failure by placing huge expectations on yourself just because the clock has ticked over to midnight. Make a change because you really want to. It’s far more likely to work out for you in the long run.