Christmas time really is the most wonderful time of the year. From eating a delicious baked-ham to throwing prawns on the BBQ, there’s nothing that brings joy more than family dinner.
But what does not spark joy at the family dinner is that one family member that only talks to you in back-handed compliments. We absolutely don’t stan them. And so, to help you out with that relative, we’ve curated 9 clapbacks for you to shoot right on back to their face, ensuring you make it out of Christmas alive.
Comment: “Isn’t that your third plate?”
Clapback: “Isn’t that your third wife?”
Comment: “You know tattoos are a lifetime commitment.”
Clapback: “Right, and your marriage wasn’t?”
Comment: “You’re always on your phone.”
Clapback: “You’re always on your walker.”
Comment: “Where’s your boyfriend?”
Clapback: “Where’s your hairline?”
Comment: “That Greta Thunberg is so loud and annoying?”
Clapback: “Like your chewing?”
Comment: “I didn’t want this for Christmas”
Clapback: “Well, I didn’t want a new dad around but here we are”
Comment: “I heard your grades are struggling.”
Clapback: “Yeah, like the button holding your jeans together.”
Comment: “I see your acne came back”
Clapback: “Yep, unlike your financial stability post the 2008-GFC”
Comment: “You know tattoos are permanent”
Clapback: “Yep, just like the damage you did to our environment. Thanks for climate change binch.”
So there you have it, hope you have a wonderful Christmas dinner. Happy holidays and best of luck shading all of those crazy, annoying family members, because we think you’ll need it.