Bleats

Would Chris Hemsworth Be A Bottom? The Important Question Raised By One Accidentally-Thottie Video

Hypothetically speaking, of course.

Let us preface this thought experiment by saying that yes, we are aware that the extremely famous, hot and talented Aussie actor Chris Hemsworth is married with kids to Spanish actress Elsa Pataky. As far as we know, he is straight.

However, that does not stop the land of hypotheticals being a fun place to play, and right now people are very much playing with the question: Would Chris Hemsworth be a bottom?

It’s a question that was prompted by footage of Hemsworth feeding a quokka. The close ups on his Instagram are very wholesome, but the wide shot has a potent accidental-thot vibe.

The arched back crouching position that is making Hemsworth look like a beautifully sculpted masterpiece has stirred up a lot of thirsty conversation on Twitter, and the general consensus is that yes, Chris Hemsworth would be a bottom.

In case you’re not fully across the LGBTQ+ lingo, bottoming refers to being the person who usually ‘receives’ in sex. To be more specific, we are talking about receiving anal.

The theory that Chris Hemsworth would be a bottom is just harmless fantasising over a hot celebrity, no better or worse than women thirsting after the same hottie. Fantasy land can transcend a celebrity’s real life sexual orientation, just as it can transcend the laws of probability, physics, and whatever other boundaries your imagination can cross.

And though it is just theory, the evidence is rather compelling.

The reactions are also priceless.

At the end of the day, Chris Hemsworth can be whoever you want him to be in your fantasy. So if you want him to be a bottom, it’s your lucky day because this unintentionally-sultry Quokka video is the perfect stimulus.

Noah Centineo Starring In A Calvin Klein Underwear Campaign Is Hardcore Thirst Bait That We Are Here For

He is the bait and we are trapped.

Calvin Klein campaigns have a long lineage of being thirst traps, and clearly they are keeping on with that tradition as they just added Noah Centineo to their line up.

Our To All The Boys I’ve Loved Before romcom king and internet boyfriend is one of the stars of Calvin Klein’s recent campaign and we are falling right into their hands like silly putty.

THIS is good advertising:

Even the shots where he’s wearing clothes are damn hot.

If that’s not enough for you, A$AP Rocky is also serving up looks in the thirst trap that is this Calvin Klein campaign.

It’s a whole lot of man candy for one sitting.

And I’m not OK.

Saturday Night Live’s Impersonations Of Aussie Icons Chris Hemsworth And Hannah Gadsby Are So Spot On

Get them BOTH to host the Oscars.

Last night on Saturday Night Live they did a skit riffing off the struggle of finding someone right for the role of Oscar’s host, and they (rightfully) have in the mix Australia’s own leading man, Chris Hemsworth, and recently risen star, comedian Hannah Gadsby.

The skit references the “whoopsies” moment of discovering the “bad tweets” of someone’s past, as per what happened to almost-Oscar’s-host Kevin Hart. They ask:

“Who will risk everything, for the chance to gain nothing?”

Acknowledging that this is a comedy piece, that tagline is a bit belittling of the opportunity that hosting the Academy Awards really is. There are plenty of people who would be great for the role, who didn’t refuse to apologise for homophobic comments (like Hart).

Two of those people include Aussies Chris Hemsworth and Hannah Gadsby, who are impersonated by Matt Damon and the brilliant SNL cast comedian, Aidy Bryant.

These impersonations are so damn on point, we’ll forgive the nuances lacking in their Aussie accents.

Literally, let Hemsworth and Gadsby co-host the Academy Awards and it would be the best ceremony to date.

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