Bleats

Chris Evans Just Shat All Over His Captain America Nice Guy Persona And We're Totally Here For It

Steve Rogers not be happy to see what he's become.

After ticking off “making a Star Wars movie and pissing off fanboys everywhere” from his moviemaking checklist, Rian Johnson has pulled the curtain back on his follow up film, Knives Out.

In contrast to the big budgeted Last Jedi, Knives Out is a smaller affair that’s basically a new spin on the whodunit murder mystery involving the mysterious death of a celebrated novelist. But as exciting as the premise is, the real draw of Knives Out is the absolutely stacked cast.

You’ve got Daniel Craig as the lead detective sent to solve the murder and is rocking a weird Brit-ish accent.

Definitely stirred.

There’s Jamie Lee Curtis rocking a pink suit and looking like Michael from The Good Place.

The Good Place personified.

And you’ve got sassy Toni Collette who is having none of whatever Daniel Craig is serving up.

Nice.

But the pièce de résistance of the Knives Out trailer and perhaps the whole film is Chris Evans, who sheds his Captain America good guy persona in favour of a smarmy douchenozzle character who could make Steve Rogers weep.

Look, all you need to know is that he tells three people in succession to, ahem, “eat sh*t”, and we’re totally here for every single frame of it.

Yeah, you heard that right.

From having America’s arse to being America’s arsehole. Who would’ve thought?

Anyway, check out the entire trailer here and be supremely entertained by every single second of it, especially the dickhead Chris Evans parts.

As for when we’ll get to see Knives Out, the film comes out November 27 so we won’t have to wait too long to see Chris going all in on the weirdness by being a foul-mouthed arsehole cop who likes telling people to consume their own body waste.

Forget Doc Ock, Tom Holland's Spider-Man Suit Could Actually Kill Him

The real enemy was on him this entire time.

Spider-Man: Far From Home sees Peter Parker take on a bunch of new enemies called the Elementals, all of whom pack a decent punch and might be the toughest foes he’s faced so far in his solo films.

But it turns out the deadliest enemy isn’t Vulture, Thanos, or the Elementals. Nope, that title actually belongs to Tom Holland‘s Spidey suit because it could literally kill him for real.

Looks like Spider-Man’s real enemy was, uh, on him this entire time. Kinda like Venom, actually.

I’d have the same reaction too if I knew my suit could kill me.

In an interview with MTV, Zendaya and Jacob Batalon revealed that Tom’s Spidey suit is actually a skin-tight, one piece ensemble – including the mask – that’s hard to get in and even harder to get out of. So while it looks cool, the pair aren’t exactly envious of Tom getting to wear the Spidey suit.

But for Zendaya, she also harbours a very real fear that Tom could actually die by choking on his own vomit while in the suit.

“I get scared all the time like, what if he’s working so hard that he throws up. And then he can’t— he chokes!”

It sounds incredibly stupid and disgusting yet it makes sense. Say Tom is ill and he needs to lose his lunch, he can’t just take off the mask because of its one-piece design. That means he’s going to be stuck in a pool of his own vomit and he’s in serious danger until someone cuts him out.

That’s… not that implausible of a concern now that I think about it. Gross, yes, but definitely within the realm of plausibility.

It’s actually pretty impressive how much thought Zendaya put into how Tom could potentially die in his Spidey suit, which makes her the perfect person to play the sardonic MJ.

Between getting dusted by Thanos or dying by vomit choke, it seems like Spider-Man isn’t safe from the grim reaper in either fiction or real life.

Tom Holland And Brie Larson Both Commented On Marvel's Underrepresentation But Only One Got Slammed For It

Guess who.

Spider-Man: Far From Home is a pretty fun little film that serves as a perfect palette cleanser following Avengers: Endgame, as well as an opportunity to see Tom Holland goof around in interviews for a few weeks.

But while the anecdotes about Gwyneth Paltrow are amusing, Tom’s comments about wanting to see more representation in future Marvel films and the subsequent reaction to them have proven to be the most interesting thing about his Far From Home media tour.

It’ll get your Spidey senses tingling.

In an interview with The Times, Tom talked about Marvel’s plans for greater representation of “lots of different people” in the future and was all for seeing more inclusion in the MCU.

“The world isn’t as simple as a straight white guy. It doesn’t end there, and these films need to represent more than one type of person.”

This is great and all yet one can’t help but notice the contrasting response to his comments compared to very similar ones made by Brie Larson when Captain Marvel came out.

Brie was heavily slammed by the internet’s horde of puffy chested bros when she called for greater representation, so much so they decided to review bomb Captain Marvel over her supposed anti-white men comments. By comparison, there’s barely been a whimper over Tom using his influence to spread a nearly identical pro-diversity message.

Hmm, I wonder why that is.

This isn’t the first time that certain circles of Marvel fans have shown just why they’re the absolute worst, but it is just another example of the double standard that’s sadly prevalent in pop-culture fandoms.

The comments made by Tom and Brie may be the same, but the dudebros’ silence over the Spider-Man star compared to the Captain Marvel star is deafening.

Hey dudebros of the internet, please just stay quiet forever whenever anyone in a position of influence talks about the need for greater representation in film, regardless of their gender. That’ll be a good start in fixing this problem.

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