Bleats

Today I Learned: Ashton Kutcher Is Not Only Smarter Than You, He's Solving The World's Problems

Kelso's done quite well for himself.

You probably know Ashton Kutcher as that dimwitted pretty boy Michael Kelso from That 70s Show or as the husband of Mila Kunis.

Those are all accurate but there’s more to the bloke than being a super good-looking Hollywood actor who’s married to another super good-looking Hollywood actor.

Ashton Kutcher also happens to be a genius. Like, intelligence spilling out of his ears genius.

Yes, this dude.

Prior to being an actor, Ashton had originally studied biochemical engineering at the University of Iowa with the intention of finding a cure for his brother’s heart ailment.

However, that path took a backseat when he realised he could be far more successful by leveraging his looks and so he went to Hollywood instead, which ultimately worked out pretty damn well for him.

But when he’s not working on movie and TV stuff, he’s off using his smarts to be a massively successful venture capitalist who is incredibly knowledgeable about the IT scene and has invested in several start up companies that have gone on to be huge.

That’s a big, fat lie.

Just to give you an example of how business savvy Ashton is, he was an early investor in companies like Uber, Spotify, Airbnb, Skype and Shazam because he saw potential in them and we all know how those companies all panned out. All in all, he’s invested in over 70 companies and built up a portfolio worth hundreds of millions of dollars.

Who would’ve thought the dumbest-looking person on That 70s Show actually turned out to be the genius?

They say it takes a smart person to play a dumb person.

But beyond being super smart, good looking and a wildly successful businessman, Ashton is also helping to solve one of the world’s biggest problems.

Back in 2012, he and his ex-wife Demi Moore started up Thorn, an organisation outsourced by the FBI to help catch pedophiles, stop child trafficking and the exploitation of children. Using his tech connections built up through the years of being a business investor, Thorn has fought cybercriminals using tech and developed online instruments to assist authorities to catch human traffickers.

Thorn is also one of the reasons why he makes that Netflix show, The Ranch: the paychecks help finance the organisation. There’s a lot more going on in that pretty head than you may think.

So to sum up, Ashton Kutcher is not only a big Hollywood star who’s happily married to Mila Kunis, he’s a wildly smart guy who’s made hundreds of millions by investing in start ups. When he’s not busy being successful, he’s off helping to stop child trafficking and pedophiles with Thorn.

Damn.

Seems like Zoolander was right: there really is more to life than being really, really ridiculously good-looking.

Johnny Depp's Problematic Dior Ad Is Just The Tip Of The Iceberg

He's had his moment in the spotlight but it's time for him to just go away.

Dior have released a new ad for its Sauvage perfume starring Johnny Depp that sees the star wandering around the desert while his co-star Canku One Star of the Rosebud Sioux Tribe does a dance while wearing a traditional Native American headdress and outfit.

Yup. You can see where this is going.

Despite Dior making it clear that the ad was made in “close collaboration” with Native American consultants to make sure they don’t do anything wrong, folks on the internet quickly jumped all over Dior for cultural appropriation and calling the ad offensive and racist. However, one particular sticking point for many people was the company’s decision to include Johnny Depp.

While he’s been a face for the company’s ads since 2015, this particular one touched a nerve with many people due to his previous, unfounded claims of having Native American ancestry when he was cast as Tonto in 2013’s The Lone Ranger.

Depp was later made an honourary member of the Comanche Nation by LaDonna Harris, but it’s not quite the same as being an actual, you know, Native American and folks rightfully pointed out that he doesn’t speak for all Native Americans just because he says he thinks he is.

Dior has since deleted the ad but the company and Depp have yet to issue out a statement in response to all the backlash. But the bigger sticking point from all of this is: why is Johnny Depp even still a thing?

Sure he may have been a big Hollywood box-office draw back in the early 2000s but all that Pirates of the Caribbean goodwill ran out ages ago. He’s not exactly lighting up cinema screens with his performances nor are his movies exactly raking in the big bucks like they used to.

No one is exactly lining up to see Jack Sparrow any more.

Sorry, Jack.

But beyond the waning interest in his career, the whirlwind of legal troubles surrounding Depp should be more than enough for everyone to keep away from him with a 10-foot pole.

Besides the cultural appropriation stuff, there’s a history of drugs and alcohol, reports of him being an absolute nightmare to work with and a history of legal problems involving his tendency to assault people.

Then there’s the whole thing with his now ex-wife Amber Heard, who accused him of being physically and verbally abusive during their marriage, which has resulted in both parties suing and counter-suing each other.

The fact that Johnny Depp keeps getting free passes is becoming an issue and it’s about time we close the door on such a problematic person. Sure he’s been in some great movies but we can do without seeing him around for a while.

The Controversial Dragon Ball Audio Leaks Shows How Toxic Fanboys Can Be

The amount of mental gymnastics on display would overpower Goku.

Hoo boy, we got ourselves a doozy here so strap in. Alleged outtake Dragon Ball audio recordings apparently involving a number of popular voice actors – including the one for Son Goku – have leaked online, causing the anime company, Funimation, to trend online and the emergence of toxic fanboys from their basements.

So why is Funimation getting all this attention from toxic Dragon Ball fans? Well, that’s because the stuff said in those leaked audio clips is incredibly offensive.

Put it this way, you won’t look at Goku or any of the other characters in the same light after hearing them say a heap of homophobic, sexist and racist “jokes.” Needless to say that these clips are pretty NSFW.

However, this merely scratches the tip of this whole saga.

This leak happens to coincide with the legal battle Funimation is in with popular voice actor Vic Mignogna, whose relationship with the anime company ended when he was accused of sexual harassment by several fans.

As a result of this leak, we’ve ended up with three camps of fans:

  • Those who are decrying the leaks as something that’s ruined their childhood memories of Dragon Ball and Goku, and think the recordings count as fireable offences.
  • Those who think these leaks are nothing more than funny jokes between the voice actors.
  • Those who are using the leaks as a way to defend Vic Mignogna’s alleged actions and calling out Funimation for double standards.
Yup.

The reaction from the first camp of fans is perfectly understandable. If you’re Funimation, you don’t want your Dragon Ball voice actors using up company resources to record offensive stuff like this and why they haven’t been fired is a valid question (which is a story for another day).

Things start to get problematic when we get onto the second camp of fans who don’t see the issue with the recordings. “Jokes” that are clearly offensive and inappropriate are being normalised rather than shot down, and it’s this sort of attitude that contributes to the toxicity of online fandoms.

And then we have the third camp of Vic Mignogna defenders and boy are we stepping into some toxic territory here.

While there’s an argument to be made as to why Funimation (understandably) fired Mignogna but not the Dragon Ball voice actors, there are fans who are taking way too far by using the leaks to defend Mignogna and to denounce the women (and the #MeToo movement by extension) accusing him of harassment.

It’s fair enough to be offended by the leaks and for wanting the Dragon Ball voice actors to be fired for sullying Goku. But making offensive jokes and multiple women coming forward with their stories about a guy who allegedly harassed them are two completely different things. Just because one bad thing happen doesn’t mean another worse thing didn’t happen.

Trying to suggest that these two incidents are equal makes absolutely no sense and it just shows the mental gymnastics toxic fans will go through just to prove that their argument is “right.”

So to those who just can’t see just why the Funimation Dragon Ball audio leaks and the Vic Mognogna saga are two different things, the “toxic” people clapping back against you aren’t the problem. You’re the problem.

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