Bleats

Jack Black Is What Happens When Your Childhood Fantasies Actually Comes True

Jack Black is like a real life Peter Pan without the character's jerkass parts.

We all have wild, fantastical dreams when we were children. Some want to be a wildly famous movie star while others want to be a rock music god of sorts. There are also a worrying number of kids who want to be *shudder* YouTube stars but hey, might as well let your dreams go crazy when you’re a kid.

In 99.99% of these cases, those childhood dreams end up unrealised because it’s all a crazy long shot. But there are of course exceptions to the rule and there’s no bigger exception than the one and only Jack Black.

The man has carved out quite a career in the movie and music biz over the the last three decades. With the opening of his YouTube channel, Jack can add “YouTuber” to his CV and with that, he’s gone beyond all our regular labels for a regular celebrity.

What he’s become is the embodiment of every person’s childhood fantasy if they all actually come true.

Just think about it. He’s somehow carved out a critically and commercially successful movie career that appeals to nearly every demographic despite not being your traditional Hollywood leading man.

Kids love him because of films like Kung Fu Panda, School of Rock and Jumanji; and adults love him because he’s shown some great comedic and dramatic work in stuff like Bernie and Tropic Thunder.

It’s crazy how surprisingly versatile Jack is when it comes to his movie work.

When he’s not starring in movies, Jack is off being a rock star with his buddy Kyle Glass as part of the wildly – and surprisingly – successful Tenacious D.

Performing raunchy comedic rock songs that you wrote with your best mate while high isn’t the usual recipe for success when you want to be a famous music star, and yet Jack somehow carved out his own niche within the music space.

When you’re rubbing shoulders with rock royalty like Dave Grohl, talented folks like Jack White lining up to work with you, and you’ve sang the greatest song in the world to a demon, you’re doing something right.

You’d think Jack would’ve been satisfied after conquering the movie and music worlds but he somehow managed to break through the final frontier of being a celebrity by becoming a famous video game YouTube star.

After originally starting his channel as a project with his son in 2018, it’s since taken off like wildfire and currently has over 4.2 million subscribers.

But perhaps what makes Jack’s YouTube channel stand out the raw, unedited approach he takes to his content. There’s no “WASSUP GUYZ!” intros or “LIKE AND SUBSCRIBE TO MY CHANNEL!” call to actions, it’s all just Jack playing games and being his usual goofy self.

Your childhood dreams are probably just mere fantasy at this point but rather than think of it with a “what if” mentality, you might as well live out those dreams vicariously through Jack Black because he’s fulfilling them right now by doing nothing more than living his best life.

Bella Thorne Directing An Adult Film Is The Ultimate Power Move

What a flex from Bella Thorne.

Bella Thorne has come a long way since her early Disney days, hasn’t she?

Back then she was doing sugary Shake It Up sort of stuff. Now she’s posting nudes, writing personal poems about her struggles, and *checks notes* directing porn because why the hell not.

Partnering up with Pornhub, Bella will make her directorial debut with Her & Him, a “beautiful” and “ethereal” film that examines the relationship between a man and a woman – complete with a bunch of “real life f**king” – and their fight over dominance.

Whereas Bella paints Her & Him as an artsy adult flick, Pornhub VP Corey Price bluntly describes it more as a “modernistic, sexually explicit Romeo and Juliet-like depiction of two star-crossed lovers who have unbridled sexual longing for each other.”

Sooo, it’s just Romeo and Juliet then but featuring adults and not underage kids? Cool, gotcha. Wait, what about the tragic ending where they die – you know what, I’m overthinking this.

This foray into directing porn is a new one for Bella and it’s quite an impressive, if surprising, flex. But after being subjected to so much scrutiny about nearly every aspect of her personal and professional life, seeing her take back control of the narrative on her own terms is a power move and a half.

There’s still a stigma when it comes to porn (sadly) but Bella views it as nothing more than another storytelling medium, saying “If you think that porn is uncomfortable, I’m sorry that you are uncomfortable. But don’t make other people feel uncomfortable for being okay with it.”

Perfectly said right there.

As for when you can see Bella Thorne’s first directorial effort, Her & Him will debut at Germany’s Oldenburg Film Festival before becoming available to Pornhub Premium subscribers.

But regardless of how the film turns out, let’s just give props to Bella for doing whatever she wants on her own terms and not giving a crap about what critics think.

Little Women Looks Fantastic But We Don't Need Another All-White Period Piece

No amount of Saoirse Ronan and Timothée Chalamet can cover up the lack of people of colour in Little Women.

The first trailer for Greta Gerwig’s adaptation of Louisa May Alcott’s Little Women has dropped and it’s quite possibly the most ambitious crossover event in history this side of an Avengers film.

You’ve got Saoirse Ronan (Lady Bird), Emma Watson (Harry Potter), Florence Pugh (Midsommar) and Eliza Scanlen (Sharp Objects) getting up to no good as the March sisters:

I would be okay if the entire movie was basically them squabbling.

There’s Laura Dern (Big Little Lies) as Marmee March and Meryl Streep (too many good things to count) turning up the sass as Aunt March:

Just give her the Oscar right now.

And of course, you’ve got Timothée Chalamet (Lady Bird) and his perfect, wind-swept hair as Theodore “Laurie” Laurence:

Yep, Timothée is looking good.

With enough star power to light up a continent and an overwhelmingly talented cast who’ll likely be fighting each other for Oscar glory when the film drops on December 25, Little Women isn’t just a stacked movie, it’s a goddamn cinematic event.

But as good as the film looks, not to mention the sizzling onscreen chemistry from Saoirse and Timothée, one can’t help but notice the film’s, uh, whiteness for lack of a better term. In fact, you look at the cast for Little Women and there’s a grand total of zero people of colour in there. There were more than just white people around during the 19th century. Just saying.

There’s no doubt that the cast and crew for Little Women are more than qualified for the gig, but there are plenty of talented people of colour out there in Hollywood who could’ve easily slipped into any of the roles in the film.

Before folks start harping on about the source material not featuring people of colour, film adaptations of novels take creative liberties all the time to the benefit of the final product and this is no exception. A producer for the film, Robin Swicord, even said that this version of Little Women will be “focusing more on themes than narrative,” which makes the lack of people of colour even more glaring.

We’ve seen more than enough all-white period dramas come out of Hollywood and it would’ve been brilliant to see some greater inclusivity for the genre. Movies featuring non-white casts are perfectly capable of scoring big in Hollywood so it’s quite disappointing to see how much further we still have to go on that front.

There’s no doubt that Greta Gerwig’s Little Women will be good at the very least, but Hollywood missed out on an opportunity to turn this adaptation into something special by opting for yet another all-white cast once again.

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