In an age of fake news and misrepresentation of facts, there are two things that remain true no matter how much spin you try to put on it: Chris Evans and Paul Rudd are two gorgeous men.
And as one is wont to do when two mega attractive Hollywood celebrities are talked about in the same sentence, you are obligated to ponder on the following question: who would you rather bone, Chris Evans or Paul Rudd?
This isn’t just some thirsty little hypothetical that I’ve been dwelling on for years (well, mostly). I bring this up because of Chris Evans’ appearance on Billy Eichner‘s popular Billy on the Street series.
The first chunk of the episode is the usual collection of greatest hits from all the other Billy of the Street episodes – Billy yelling a lot, many confused strangers, the celebrity guest being dragged along for the ride – but things get taken up a notch when Billy and Chris happen to run into Paul Rudd on the street.
And since it was a golden opportunity for some shenanigans, Billy and Chris decide to take Paul along for a lightning round of asking people, “for a dollar, who would you have sex with: Chris Evans or Paul Rudd?”
Look, it’s a big question and one we should dedicate a lot of time pondering because choosing between Chris Evans and Paul Rudd is one of the most difficult hypotheticals ever devised.
On one hand, you have a hunky chap whose charm and surprising intelligence is matched by his Captain America physique and ability to rock a full beard.
But on the other hand, you have an immortal vampire who never ages and is capable of keeping you entertained from now until the end of time (or your life) with his comedic chops. You will have to deal with the fact that he’s married and has two kids but that’s easily swept under the rug.
So what’s it going to be (for a dollar): Chris Evans or Paul Rudd?
If it was a game of “bone, marry or kill”, I’d bone Chris, marry Paul, and kill Chris Pratt because I needed a third name and Pratt is the worst.
But since that isn’t the question, here’s my answer because I’m a cop out and it’s the only one that makes sense: