Bleats

Cardi B Will Perform At Coachella Five Months Pregnant, Your All-Male All-Time Best Rappers List Is Invalid

She’s absolutely going to have some verses about childbirth on her next album and it’s going to be the hardest thing ever.

From smashing Billboard chart records that have stood since she was in kindergarten to smashing her debut album out of the park, Cardi B is absolutely killing it right now.

And over the weekend she topped off a brilliant last few weeks by being the musical guest on Saturday Night Live… and casually revealing her five-months-pregnant belly a couple of minutes into the first performance.

It’s the kind of incredibly baller move your favourite male rapper could never pull off: “Oh hey, here I am, top of my game, and I’m just going to come out here in my custom Christian Siriano, growing a human on top of it all.”

And this doesn’t undermine the brilliance of her instant-classic incubation-denial from just two months ago: “No bitch I’m just getting fat. Let me fat in peace”.

Let’s be clear: there’s plenty of room for more than one woman to kill it in hip hop at once. Absolutely nobody benefits from pitting women against each other as if there’s only one seat at the table – we can have Nicki and Cardi and Rapsody and Syd and Noname and SZA and Little Simz and DeJ Loaf and Leikeli47 and Stefflon Don and Tink, and Beyoncé and Rihanna can be your new favourite rappers too.

Nobody loses when more women are killing it.

But with that said, it’s worth noting that Cardi is doing something not even Bey could manage: playing Coachella while Pretty Damn Pregnant.

She’ll play the massive California festival on Sunday, one of the biggest names on the lineup alongside Eminem, Migos (meaning she could well bring Offset and the guys on for ‘Drip’), Miguel, and, uh, Vance Joy.

Admittedly there’s a pretty big difference between five months pregnant with one kid and seven months pregnant with twins – which is what Beyonce would have been had she headlined Coachella last year as planned. (She’s making up for dropping out of the 2017 event by playing this year’s festival, as promised.)

But this is still one for the Backwards And In Heels/Gangsta In A Dress files. There’d be vomit more places than just his sweater if Eminem had to try and pull that off.

Cardi and Offset’s kid will have plenty of much cooler claims to fame, but at least they’ll always have a trump card when their whatever-the-2039-version-of-bougie college friends are bragging about how young they were at their first Coachella.

Margot Robbie’s Producing An Aussie Feminist Shakespeare Series For The ABC, Hopefully Featuring Ophelia Telling Hamlet To Rack Off

In Margot Robbie's feminist utopia, the shrew tames YOU.

Margot Robbie has announced that her production company, LuckyChap, will produce a ten-part anthology series for the ABC, retelling Shakespeare plays from the perspective of the female characters.

Robbie is at the top of her game right now, coming off an Oscar nomination for I, Tonya – which LuckyChap produced as well.

In fact, Robbie’s said repeatedly that she wouldn’t have got the part of Tonya Harding if she hadn’t been a producer and made it happen herself. (Starting a production company is a slightly harder way to get stuff done than kneecapping your competition with a tyre iron, but ultimately more effective.)

So it’s a legend move to direct that power back into the Australian screen industry right now. And what’s more, Robbie says the series will be led by all-female creative teams and she’ll be seeking out up-and-comers to work on each installment.

“I’m taking a lot of meetings with the lesser-known talent at the moment, the indie film-makers, first- and second-time film-makers, mainly women,” Robbie said. “I’m in a lovely position where I can actually help get things greenlit so I want to work with people who we haven’t seen yet.”

If she wants to get a few big names on board, though, she probably won’t be short on volunteers – the announcement perked up some famous ears, including Tessa Thompson and Stranger Things’ Shannon Purser (AKA Barb).

Interestingly, Disney has reportedly snagged the global distribution deal – meaning that the series could be part of the studio’s new streaming service offering, alongside Jon Favreau’s live-action Star Wars series.

No word yet on which plays will be getting the modern-day treatment, but from the announcement, it seems it’ll go in some surprising directions.

“The project will share diverse points of view, from writers representing the different cultures and areas within Australia, which many would not readily associate with works of Shakespeare,” said a statement from LuckyChap.

But as any high school drama teacher knows, there are a few stories in the Shakespeare canon that lend themselves well to talking about some of the Big Issues in Aussie society – from Othello’s ready-made racial tensions to the evergreen “Romeo & Juliet but he’s [black/Christian/a Collingwood supporter] and she’s [white/Muslim/a rational human being with standards]!”

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