Bleats

Yowies Are Real So Guess I’m Becoming A Hermit

Nightmare material.

Horror movies are my personal brand of hell: possessed dolls and demons and human centipedes are a huge no from me. 

Supernatural horror especially terrifies me. It makes me so paranoid that I’ll even block my ears and close my eyes if a movie trailer comes on while I’m watching TV. 

Where can I get me some zippable eyelids? Source: Giphy

So when I heard that two Aussie teens recorded the sounds of a Yowie howling I basically peed my pants. 

Then I listened to the recording and I definitely peed my pants. Movies are one thing, but real life monsters are a whole other ball game that I do not want to participate in. 

Yowies are basically the Australian version of big foot. They’re big, fury, scary monsters said to live in the outback. 

Translation: NO THANK YOU. 

NOPE. Source: Giphy

The two teens were reportedly star gazing in the Gold Coast’s Tallebudgera Valley when they heard a “deep, moaning growl.”

Because a wild animal growling in your vicinity is apparently not terrifying, the kids hung around to suss out the sound. 

“We were sitting there and then started to hear the sound. It was clearly large,” one of the teens, Harrison Ryan, told The Courier Mail

“It was deep moaning growling, but wasn’t consistent. We were trying to see whether a cow would make that sound. We weren’t too sure and stuck around for another half an hour listening.”

Then, they went back two nights later. THAT’S LIKE EVERY MISTAKE IN EVERY HORROR MOVIE EVER: YOU NEVER GO BACK TO THE SCARY PLACE. 

Legitimate question. Source: Giphy

The scariest part about this whole story is that it’s not just two teens talking smack to scare people. Their claims have been supported by a legitimate zoologist and ABC wildlife expert, Gary Opit. 

There is always a possibility it could be the bellowing of cattle, but given where the recording was made I am inclined to think it was a yowie. The yowie calls are always very powerful calls,” he told The Courier Mail. 

Mr Opit claims to have heard yowie roars himself on a number of occasions in the Hinterland. Oh, and there were reports last week that 

The reports follow claims last week that a Currumbin Valley family had been stalked by a “large hairy animal” and the discovery of a large “footprint” at Mount French.

This is how I die. Source: Giphy

I’m officially never leaving my house again. I wonder how long I can ration the food in my pantry… 

Before Chris Hemsworth Was Thor, He Bombed It On These God-Tier Aussie Shows

Not sure whether to laugh or cringe.

I wouldn’t say Chris Hemsworth is my favourite Hemsworth, but his biceps are definitely my favourite. 

But before he was God’s gift to the world or even a God himself as Thor, Chris was just an Aussie actor trying to carve a name for himself in the industry. His early works may not be the best showcase of his skillset (if I’m being honest, his acting flopped pretty hard) but does provide the greatest entertainment value. 

We all know old mate Chris was on Home & Away. After all, it’s where all the blonde haired, blue eyed Aussie actors with slightly bogan accents go to learn how to look sexy in slow motion and act outraged that their best friend is sleeping with their long term girlfriend.

But before he was on Home & Away, Chris starred in two other iconic Aussie TV shows. 

The first is Neighbours. Which coincidentally is also where goddess Margot Robbie got her big break, so there’s something to be said about the power of crappy Australian soap operas. 

Nothing to see here. Source: Giphy

On the show, Chris played Jamie Kane who works at car parts wholesaler Moco. He finds his co-worker Stephanie Scully after the place is robbed and questions Steph as to why she did not press the alarm button. He calls the police himself and leaves Steph in an awkward situation as it emerges she knew the robber.

Scandal. 

Love the necklace, Chris. Source: Neighbours

The second show is most definitely my favourite from Chris’ repertoire. I don’t think you’re ready for this…

…Chris Hemworth was in The Saddle Club. 

My face^. Source: Giphy

He didn’t play just anyone, no, he played ‘The Hot Vet’.

The hot vet also appeared to be a bit of an arse and a very bad actor but we’ll forgive him because this is TV gold: 

#NeverForget. 

Speaking of things to never forget, there’s also the small fact that Chris was on the 2006 season of Dancing With The Stars Australia. 

Yep, that’s right, not only is he good looking, talented and has biceps that definitely look like they can keep you safe at night, the guy can dance. 

Well, kinda. It’s mostly hilarious and I’m here for all of the Hemsworth DWTS content.

So whenever you’re having a day; whenever you feel as though you’ll never achieve your dreams and that you’re too boring or ugly and insignificant, remember two things: 

  1. You’re beautiful and amazing and capable. 
  2. If Chris Hemsworth can go from The Saddle Club to Hollywood, then so can you. 

We Now Know How Woody From Toy Story Dies

There's a new sheriff in town.

I’m late to the game when it comes to the Toy Story movies.

I only watched them all for the first time a couple of months ago (don’t hate me) but I assure you my love for them is just as real as yours.

But this isn’t about me. Buzz and Woody are the icons of an entire generation. We (well, not me) grew up watching them fight for what they believe and they taught us how to be kind, brave and a loyal friend.

The kinda friend we need in life

It seems like Woody won’t be making new friends anytime soon ‘cause he’s finally met his maker. Specifically, Chucky from Child’s Play.

Poor Woody was probably just trying to find his friends when he stumbled into the wrong toy box. Sid’s got nothing on Chucky, that’s for sure.

Do you think Buzz is looking for him?

And poor Bo Peep probably thinks he’s ghosted her.

Still a better love story than Twilight.

Woody isn’t actually in the Child’s Play movie. The horror film is just having some fun with its shared release date with Toy Story 4. If you can call murdering a friendly toy sheriff fun.

Check out the trailer for Child’s Play here:

Then remember happier times with the Toy Story 4 trailer:

June 21 is gonna be one heck of a day. I’m gonna go lock away all my childhood toys and throw away the key.

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