Friends, we need to have a chat about how society works.
Humans are a naturally sociable species and our ability to community and cooperate is our superpower. It is why we have become the dominant species on the planet and allowed us to land on the Moon and explore the depths of the genome.
And yet, at every turn, we live on the edge of chaos. And there is no greater indication of the fragility of the thread from which our entire system dangles than bin night, and the monsters who wait for you to put yours out and then stuff all their crap into it.
What’s worse is when your bin then gets left by the council for being overfull, meaning that a) you get to rifle through garbage to find ways to get your bin lid shut, and b) you get to wait another week with a full, weeping garbage bin while your disgusting new waste accumulates.
And this is only going to become more acute as more Australian councils opt for fortnightly pick ups as a cost saving measure.
It’s easy to imagine a future where you’ll not only be forcing two weeks of refuse into your wheelie bin but potentially getting to live for a month with the wafting scent of an overfilled junk-trolley that the council refused to pick up thanks to some jerk ramming their excess offal into your waste-tub.
And humankind will be forced to roam the increasingly-reeking streets, dripping garbage bags in hand, looking for unguarded bins on main road and in quiet cul-de-sacs, each of us hoping against hope to find a half-empty receptacle to deposit our disgusting capitalism-shards within.
And then the flies will take over, and chaos will reign.
So, you know. Keep away from my bin or destroy humanity, is what I’m saying.