Bleats

Why Is The Government So Obsessed With Porn?

Surely there are other more important things to worry about.

The Australian government have a lot of things on their plate right now and yet all they can seemingly think about is porn. Okay, hear me out.

According to The Guardian, the Coalition have taken a leaf out of the UK’s book and put together a parliamentary committee to investigate the possibility of implementing an age filter on porn websites.

You know how gambling websites have those age filters? Just imagine those but for all your favourite porn sites.

As for why the government are doing this, the chair of the aforementioned committee, LNP MP Andrew Wallace, is clutching his pearl necklace out of concern about how Australians can access porn online without verifying that they were 18 or older.

“This is concerning, as research shows that accessing pornography negatively influences young peoples’ attitudes to sex, sexuality and relationships.”

Ignoring the fact that he hasn’t shown what research he’s referencing, Wallace did say that the committee’s inquiry won’t focus on “appropriately classified” porn sites in Australia and will also look into how this hypothetical age filter would push over 18s into “unregulated markets”, potential privacy breaches and any impact on freedom of expression.

It really is.

Now this probably looks okay on paper and what not but let’s look at how the government’s hypothetical age filter will pan out if it becomes reality.

The UK porn website age filter was a bit of a flop as it was circumvented pretty easily and there’s no indication that the hypothetical Australian one is going to be any better. And besides, if a horny teenager wants to watch some porn, no measly age filter is going to stop them from getting their fap on.

This age filter will also create a big database of all the Australians who watch porn, which is a massive privacy problem if all this personal info was leaked.

That’s an understatement.

Taking all this into mind, this again begs the question: why is the government so obsessed with porn?

With so many more important things to worry about than stressing over teenagers watching videos of people engaging in sexytimes – like climate change, the immigration stuff, the stagnant wages and the NBN just to name a few – surely an age filter for porn sites ranks pretty low on the to-do list.

Unless the government is using the porn website age filter as a smokescreen for all the stuff they’re supposed to be focusing on but aren’t. Huh. Dwell on that little thought next time you’re browsing the internet for videos of hot, sweaty action.

Monica's Best Plot Line In Friends Was Almost Cut Because Men Are Prudes

The one where the bosses tried to slut-shame Monica.

Part of Monica’s charm on Friends is the fact she makes no apologies for who she is, her sex life and her excessive cleanliness. Well it turns out that NBC – the network that owns the TV show – wasn’t too fond of Monica initially, especially the sex stuff, and tried to get the writers to scrap one of her best storylines.

Here we go…

Friends co-creator David Crane spilled the beans to EW and revealed that NBC head Don Meyer wasn’t too pleased about Monica’s plot in the pilot episode where she sleeps with some dude on the first date.

Despite the showrunners holding their ground amidst Meyer’s pearl-clutching cries of “no one’s going to like her!” the NBC head tried to strong-arm them into changing Monica’s storyline with some good ol’ slut-shaming.

Director James Burrows planned to have a live audience give feedback on the Friends pilot and NBC decided to get them to fill out a ridiculously “skewed” questionnaire about Monica that asked stuff like “When she does this, is she a trollop? Is she a slut?”

Yeah.

Can’t say we blame you, Monica.

Happily, the audience all responded with a “nah, we still like Monica, sex and all,” and Meyer was basically forced to let the Friends showrunners do what they want at that point.

But being the petty little prude that he is, the NBC head got one last dig in by expressing his delight in the resolution of Monica’s story (she gets screwed over by the dude she sleeps with), which didn’t exactly go down well with Friends co-creator Marta Kauffman.

“Then Don got on board because he said, ‘Well I’m okay with it because she gets what she deserves when the guy sort of screws her over.'”

“I could see the steam coming out of [co-creator] Marta’s [Kauffman] nose. And I’m tap-dancing going, ‘But you’re okay with it! So if you’re okay with it then we’re good, let’s move on, yay!'”

But Friends ultimately got the last laugh in because Monica’s story in the pilot was untouched, she (and the rest of the cast) quickly became some of TV’s most beloved characters ever, and the show became something of a trailblazer in the depiction of sex on television.

Clutch your pearls at that, Don Meyer.

Thank Some Thieves For The Existence Of Green Day's American Idiot Album

A blessing disguised as a heart-shaped hand grenade covered in eyeliner.

Here’s a fact that’ll make you wonder where all the time has gone: Green Day’s punk rock opera and the album that formed the bulk of playlists of every person in their 20s, American Idiot, turns 15 this year.

Some remember it as the album that introduced them to Green Day and a surprising thirst for Billie Joe Armstrong, others remember it as the unexpected second coming of a punk band who had seemingly passed their prime, and there were those who saw it as the juvenile voice of reason amidst a time of political chaos in America.

American Idiot was a lightning in a bottle moment for Green Day and it all wouldn’t have happened had some thieves not robbed the band.

Back in 2003, Green Day were waning in popularity and their 90s goodwill from Dookie was finally running out. The band were planning to record a new album to follow up 2000’s Warning, which was relatively unsuccessful.

Titled Cigarettes and Valentines, the trio had completed around 20 songs for the new album before the demo master tapes were stolen from their studio. After a bit of mourning over their lost work, Green Day decided to start from scratch rather than re-record everything because their producer essentially told them, “yeah, you can do better, those songs were a bit rubbish, ay?”

After spending a few months writing new stuff, the band stumbled across something when they were trying to outdo one another by writing ambitious 30-second songs.

After connecting these together, they ended up with ‘Homecoming’ and that inspired them to write arguably the greatest Green Day song ever, ‘Jesus of Suburbia.’

From that point on, the floodgates opened. The punk rock opera concept for American Idiot was born and George W. Bush provided Green Day with inspiration via the political fustercluck he was putting America through. Once the album was dropped upon the world, the rest quickly became music history.

American Idiot was ultimately a massively successful album that was both ambitious in its ideas and messy in its execution, but it was – and still is – a goddamn good listen. It also polarised Green Day’s fanbase while introducing them to a new generation of fans, though we can’t imagine they’ll be too worried about that when the ‘Wake Me Up When September Ends’ cheques come in.

Hard to believe that all this success and history wouldn’t have happened had a bunch of thieves not broke into the Green Day’s recording studio and stole the tapes of the album they were originally working on.

Turns out blessings do come in disguises, which in this case is in the form of a heart-shaped hand grenade covered in eyeliner.

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