Bleats

Get Ya Bloody Crystals Out, It's A Full Harvest Moon On Friday The 13th

What a time to be alive.

Full disclosure: I don’t know a lot about zodiacs, astrology, crystals, or general woo-woo juju stuff. The fascination is there, but my knowledge is lacking. 

There are two fundamental things I do know, however: Friday the 13th is B-A-D and full moons are amazing and super powerful. They’re basically energy opposites: all the bad vibes come out to play on Friday the 13th while full moons are often a time for completing goals, creative outpourings and reaping what you sow. 

But this Friday the two are combining just to mess with any stable energy balance we got going on. 

Trying being the key word. Source: Giphy

Friday the 13th of September is not just any full moon, it’s a harvest moon. 

‘Harvest moon’ is just the fancy name given to the full moon which marks the official beginning of autumn in the Western Hemisphere. They’re different from other full moons because they rise at roughly the same time for several nights in a row. The name also has a symbolic meaning, according to NASA, as farmers (before electricity was a thing) used the light of this moon to harvest their crops late at night to prepare for the winter ahead. 

The harvest moon only coincides with Friday the 13th once every 20 years, so this Friday is kind of a big deal. The last time a full moon coincided with Friday the 13th was October 13, 2000 and the next time it will happen will be August 13, 2049. 

Yes, people are losing their minds over the fact.  

Basically, there’s gonna be a lot of wild energy floating around this Friday so get your crystals out and get ready to soak that stuff up. Or, if you’re not into that kind of thing, at least remember to step outside and look up: this is one full moon you won’t want to miss. 

Embrace that luna energy. Source: Giphy

Turns Out Running Is The Worst Way To Get Fit So We Can Stop Torturing Ourselves Now

*deletes running app immediately*

Running sucks. I don’t care what you say but there’s nothing genuinely enjoyable about pounding pavement for 10 kilometres straight while trying to block out the pain by blasting a playlist through some headphones. 

Sure, the endorphins after a run are great but not even that buzz is worth it for me.

Even though I think runners are slightly insane, I’ve always admired them. It takes a special brand of insanity, a lot of willpower, and super fitness to enjoy that kind of exercise. 

But it turns out that running isn’t the best way to get fit. In fact, it’s the worst way to improve fitness. 

-gif- shocked and elated tbh

Shocked and elated, tbh. Source: Giphy

If you want to get in shape, skip the marathon and sprint to the nearest weight room. 

Speaking to Vice, Lee Boyce, a strength coach and owner of Boyce Training Systems in Toronto, explained that running for fat lost (like many people do) is ineffective. 

“That’s usually what the mentality is, that it’s a way to get leaner and lose weight, but doing other things outside of running will probably have a better effect at catalysing that result,” he said. 

Lee’s golden tip for fat-loss is the same as any good trainer out there: compound strength exercises. Stuff like squats, deadlifts, shoulder presses – the things that use your big muscles and activate your whole body. 

The more weights you lift, the stronger our bodies become and a strong body is the best way to prevent injuries, increase metabolism, burn fat, and stay mobile and functional especially as we get older. 

Running is hard on your body but not in a constructive way – it puts a lot of excessive strain on your muscles and joints but doesn’t build proper strength. Cardiovascular endurance? Sure. But there are other ways to get your heart rate up and maintain your fitness levels that don’t ruin your knees. Specifically, interval or circuit training.

This type of cardio training keeps your heart rate up “but you get more benefits because you’re actually challenging your muscles against resistance, which will burn more calories, potentiate a lot more fat loss, and raise your metabolism,” Lee explained. 

The man is right: studies have consistently shown that weight training and sprinting are more effective than running at targeting stubborn fat and creating a good internal environment for fat loss (i.e. it balances your hormones out). 

The science is pretty technical (I won’t bore you with that) but the takeaway message is stupidly simple: running is good for cardio because weights and circuits are better. They still make you breathe hard but they help your body in more ways than a evening jog ever will. 

Just love to run? Don’t want to give it up? That’s fine – you do you. Just do you at a faster pace, for shorter time, and lift some heavy things where you can. 

Like so. Source: Giphy

One Human Year Is Not Equal To Seven Dog Years, Cue Existential Crisis

This is ruff.

There are things you live your whole life knowing: little nuggets of knowledge that change how you see the world. 

Things like: you can edit a Wikipedia page, dogs can’t eat chocolate, Oreos are vegan friendly, and that green, yellow, and red capsicums are the same fruit just at different stages of ripeness. 

You don’t know when, where or how you learnt these random facts but they’ve helped you through countless awkward conversations and life moments where you needed something semi-intelligent to say. 

One of the most widely acknowledged facts of life is that one human year = seven dog years. 

Very useful when you want to work out how old your grumpy chihuahua actually is. 

Except that it’s a damned lie. A LIE I TELL YOU. Because one dog year DOES NOT equal seven human years. 

Cue my existential crisis: if this isn’t true, what else isn’t true? Am I even alive right now? Is this a dream? Are dogs even real? What does this mean?????

LIES. Source: Giphy

The one = seven rule doesn’t hold up for a couple of reasons. First of all, it doesn’t account for differences in a dog’s size, breed and lifestyle. 

Also, a dog matures a lot within the first year of its life: they literally develop from a puppy into a fully grown adult. Lifehacker’s Hayley Williams notes, “Dogs reach sexual maturity at around one year old, so already the 7 year equivalence doesn’t make sense…”

So…what does make sense? What is the truth? 

True, I probably can’t. Source: Giphy

This graph via Business Insider is the closest thing we have to the truth. And by truth I mean statistics which show the relationship between the size of a dog and its age. 

Source: Business Insider

As you can see, the graph is not linear. Dogs age around 15 years in their first year of life which is pretty crazy. There is no blanket one human year = seven dog years rule as dogs age more some years than others years. 

There’s also a huge age disparity depending on the size of the dog: while a small dog is 56 after 10 human years, a giant dog is 78. 

There is literally no pattern here. 

My brain trying to process statistics. Source: Giphy

There are a lot of factors the above graph doesn’t take into consideration, like specific dog breeds, but its probably the simplest framework to use when comparing dog years and human years. Although, it will make our conversations a lot more difficult. 

“How old is your dog in dog years, you ask? Hold on, let me just pull out my trusty statistics table.”

Yeah, doesn’t have the same ring to it. 

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