Amid all the bleakness that is the news cycle in 2018, the super-intense romance between Ariana Grande and Saturday Night Live’s Pete Davidson is a perfect distraction – equal parts heart-eyes-emoji bright spot and popcorn-at-the-ready trainwreck waiting to happen. And now it’s emerged that the very newly engaged couple may have fallen in love while Davidson was “on a break” from longtime partner Cazzie David.
To this day, lounge rooms and pub tables around the world remain divided by the phrase “on a break”, thanks to a question first posed to us during a 1997 episode of Friends.
Even if your connection survives the “break”, can you go back to an ex after knowing what (or who) they did while you weren’t together? Are all bets off?And where exactly do you draw the line on what can and can’t be excused?
They’re questions I’ve had to ask myself recently.
I was with my boyfriend for seven years. I got the five-year itch… and the six-year itch…and by year seven it was less of an itch and more full-body hives every time another friend announced their engagement.
It’s a long time to be with someone and then expect to cut contact completely. Especially when there’s still some love there. And break-ups hurt – there’s no two ways about it.
So, I left a gateway.
Mistake number one.
He texts…I reply. He calls a week later…I answer.
Eventually he suggests grabbing a coffee, and suddenly he’s begging to have me back and I find myself considering it.
What about the months that passed before he made that contact though?
I won’t beat around the bush here. I dated, I stayed out until ridiculous o’clock getting myself into wild situations. (How many people can say they ended up in the hotel room of their celeb hall pass? *raises hand*)
I was being single, a little reckless…and yep, I started sleeping with other people.
With all this in mind, all I could think about is what he might have been doing in that time.
So I pry.
Mistake number two.
Do not ask questions you’re not prepared to hear the answer to. In this case, the answer was the one I was expecting most, but least wanted to hear.
He’d slept with THAT girl. The one I’d questioned him about in the past and he would insist he wasn’t interested in. THAT one.
Needless to say, I spent a few minutes going aggro. I think I even spot a little clump of my hair I might’ve yanked out, now sitting on his kitchen counter. (Look, I never said this would be pretty.)
I’m angry – mostly because I know he actually hasn’t done anything wrong.
Neither of us have. We’re adults, we were on a break and so we slept with other people…and as the ex, you have no right to choose who that can or can’t be.
It’s hard to move past, especially when it’s THAT person. The one they tell you not to worry about, as the meme goes. It doesn’t mean there was something there when you were together – but it doesn’t exactly prove there was nothing, either.
Screaming matches over who did what are significantly less fun without the canned laughter and zany mates reacting in the next room…and make-up sex is significantly less romantic without the soundtrack and studio lighting (although it’s definitely better without the PG rating).
But if Ross and Rachel can get past it, co-parent the hot Sprouse brother from Riverdale and live happily ever after, surely our season ten is around the corner too.
I’ll be surrounding myself with my own Monicas, Phoebes, Joeys and Chandlers while my guy and I work through our long and bumpy history.
After all, it could be worse – it’s not like he went and got engaged to Ariana Grande.