Bleats

An Actual Therapist Is Using Ariana Grande Lyrics As Treatment And We're Totally On Board

Thank U, Next indeed!

What’s not to love about Ariana Grande? She’s an outspoken feminist, she’s got an amazing voice, she’s strong AF and now she’s changing our dating lives for the better.

That’s right. Apparently, ‘Grand-ing’ is the new dating trend taking over and it’s inspired by ‘Thank U, Next’. Essentially, it’s about learning from your experiences with your ex and moving on, knowing you’re going to be totally fine without them.

In the song, Ariana names her exes as well as everything she learned from them:

“One taught me love, one taught me patience, and one taught me pain, now, I’m so amazing. I’ve loved and I’ve lost, but that’s not what I see. So, look what I got, look what you taught me.”

PlentyOfFish, a dating site in the US, did a survey that found 50 per cent of singles made it a point to follow Grande’s lead and let go of any negativity towards their exes.

Sara Ouimette, a therapist in California, spoke to HuffPost about how more of her clients want to remember the good memories of their relationships and then learn from the difficult ones.

She added the this is so they can go into their next relationship with a better understanding and approach to loving someone.

It’s sort of like the idea of ‘conscious uncoupling’ which was made famous by Gwyneth Paltrow when she split from Chris Martin. It essentially means that there doesn’t have to be ill will when a long-term relationship comes to an end.

Amy Baldwin, sex educator and co-host of the Shameless Sex podcast, added that while the idea of Grande-ing is great, you shouldn’t “bypass your hurt”.

“You have to feel all of the feels after a breakup. Sadness, anger, fear ― these emotions are here for a reason. The trick is to allow spaciousness to feel and move through all of the emotions and then looking back at our experiences and asking ‘what did I learn here?’”

Julia Bekker, a matchmaker and relationship coach in New York City, also spoke to the publication and said a breakup should make you “thankful that you are no longer spending time with someone who isn’t right for you so you can eventually focus on finding someone who is”.

“If you never learn you will find yourself in the same patterns, and if you do not enforce what you have learned you will not be able to have a successful outcome.”

“The only way to succeed is to learn from our mistakes and failures and do differently in the future and your exes really can play a positive role with your self-development and partnership skills.”

OK, we are totally on board with Grande-ing!

Ariana Grande Shows Even When You’re On Top Of Your Game You Can Still Struggle With Mental Health

"I just feel empty."

Ariana Grande has experienced more horrible things than anyone should have to go through in a lifetime all in the space of two years. And she’s not afraid to say she’s struggling at the moment.

Just last week the singer performed a Coachella with *NSYNC and while it might appear to be an amazing time in her life, Ariana’s tweeted in response to a fan, saying “it is hell”.

The fan wrote, “Music is your therapy and I love seeing it heal you.” And in a since-deleted tweet, Ariana wrote, “Making it is healing. Performing it is like reliving it all over again and it is hell.”

Some fans then reached out and said they “wouldn’t even be mad” if she had to cancel the rest of her tour for her mental health, but she told them she “won’t do that” no matter how “confused and tired” she might be.

It comes after another fan wrote, “Baby is tour good for u and your health? Remember that: your happiness > seeing you on tour.”

Ari replied, “I don’t think it is [healthy]. It’s been [very] hard. I have [so much] on my mind and it’s so heavy and no energy to process or work thru any of it but I’m trying hard. And I have the twins. And seeing you all is so nice. But it’s hard emotionally. I wish it were a year ago. I’d give anything.”

She also responded to a fan who believed Ariana doesn’t want to deal with “negativity for a while” to which she responded, “i just feel empty and i wanna have more to say / better energy to give to u and [right now] i don’t have anything. love u.”

It’s no secret that Ariana has gone through some pretty horrible events in recent years and while she’s released a lot of new music to deal with it, she’s been very open with her mental state at the same time.

The singer even released a photo of brain scans showing a healthy brain and those affected by PTSD which are lit up. She then showed a photo of her brain scans and, like the PTSD images, her brain is mostly lit up.

Speaking with British Vogue about her mental health last year, she was asked if the anxiety she was experiencing was due to PTSD and she said, “I hate…yeah…admitting it, but it very much is.”

“That’s what everyone was telling me. It’s hard to talk about because so many people have suffered such severe, tremendous loss. But, yeah, it’s a real thing. I know those families and my fans and everyone there experienced a tremendous amount of it as well.

“Time is the biggest thing. I feel like I shouldn’t even be talking about my own experience—like I shouldn’t even say anything. I don’t think I’ll ever know how to talk about it and not cry.”

“I think a lot of people have anxiety, especially right now. My anxiety has anxiety… I’ve always had anxiety. I’ve never really spoken about it because I thought everyone had it, but when I got home from tour, it was the most severe I think it’s ever been. Everybody thought I was crazy when I got home and wanted to hit the ground running.”

We just hope Ari knows when it’s time for her to take a break from work and that her fans will wholeheartedly support her if she ever did take time off from touring or making music.

She’s given so much to her fans and it might be time she takes care of herself.

If you or anyone you know struggles with their mental health, know there is help out there. Contact Lifeline on 13 11 14 for support 24 hours a day.

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