Okay, let me set one thing straight: it’s not cool to spray paint donkeys, or any animal for that matter. So, if that’s something you’re in to, then you should go and talk to a professional about it and find some better coping mechanisms, as that’s probably a gateway behaviour into something pretty grim. So, yeah, don’t paint animals – cool?
Unless, of course, you have Dr Doolittle powers that enable you to communicate directly with animals in their own language. In that case, if you develop a friendship with a donkey of sound mind, and that donkey politely asks you to spray paint them, and the label on the spray paint says that it’s 100% safe to use on talking donkeys, then I see no problem with a little consensual donkey painting.
Now, I don’t have the full details. Maybe someone at Cairo Zoo has Dr Doolittle powers, and maybe Disney are already in talks to start shooting the film about the Doctor/Donkey relationship, and maybe Scarlett Johansson is tipped to play all of the Cairo Zoo employees, the doctor and the donkey?
However… my gut feeling says that no-one at Cairo Zoo has Dr Doolittle powers, which makes this next bit pretty dark for animal lovers, and pretty dire for zoo punters.
A recent photo has sent Twitter into a tornado of zebra love, after a student in Egypt posted a photo of Cairo Zoo’s “Zebra” exhibit, clearly showing what appears to be a standard donkey, painted with black spray paint, to give it the same stripes as a zebra.
Now, the director of Cairo Zoo has denied that the zebra in question is in fact a donkey, but the internet disagrees.
Several animal experts have chimed in, explaining that zebras have black snouts and that (something that seems to clearly demonstrate that the picture below is a donkey) zebras do not have smudged stripes.
Yeah… check the smudges.
So, this is either another case of animal cruelty at a zoo, which is meant to be a safe space for animals – donkey or zebra.
Or, let’s remember that there’s still a slight chance that the donkey and their painter were consenting friends, who were able to communicate via Dr. Doolittle powers. If that’s the case, then who are we to judge?
If it’s safe and consenting, and the donkey in question better identifies as a zebra, then I say we leave the donkey alone, and let them live their best life as a zebra.
Or, yeah… it’s total animal cruelty.
One or the other.