A US Town Has Elected A Goat Mayor Because At This Point Why The Hell Not

He is at least as qualified as Trump, if not more so.

Following in the footsteps of several other animals who have gone into politics, Lincoln the goat has become the latest non-human mammal to become mayor of a small American town.

Lincoln was elected by the people of Fair Haven, Vermont, to serve as mayor for the next year. Fair Haven has a population of about 2500 humans, but it’s not clear how many goats live in the town, or how many voted in the election.

Lincoln beat 15 other candidates, including Sammy the dog, Crystal the gerbil, and several other dogs and cats, and I’m starting to think this election was not an entirely serious one. Is democracy a joke to you, Fair Haven?!

The town doesn’t have an official mayor, but rather a town manager who performs many of the same functions. The election Lincoln won was an effort organised by the town manager to raise money to build a playground, but only about $100 was raised, at $5 per candidate. Only 53 votes were cast, which is low even by Fair Haven’s small town standards.

But Joseph Gunter, the town manager, isn’t disheartened. He says the election was “a good way to get the kids involved in local government”, and despite the low turnout, they expect it to be better next year, given this was the town’s first animal-based election.

Does Lincoln know that the election was a sham? Does he know that he isn’t actually the democratically-elected representative of Fair Haven? What if it was his lifelong dream to run for office, and now that dream has been turned into a joke? He can never show his face in the party room ever again. Poor Lincoln.

Lincoln’s job will mainly see him attend the town’s major festivals such as the Memorial Day parade, the Apple Fest, and the events held every Friday in the summer.

I’m sure Lincoln will do a fine job as mayor. Lincoln, we thank you for your service.

This Teen Dobbing On His Anti-Vax Mum To Congress Is Rebellion At Its Best

The kids are alright.

An 18 year-old testified before Congress on Tuesday about his decision to get vaccinated against his mother’s wishes, and the amount of shade thrown is incredible.

Ethan Lindenberger appeared before the Senate Committee on Health, Education, Labor, and Pensions and explained that he took it upon himself to research vaccines, which he called a “medical miracle” that stop “the spread of numerous diseases and therefore saving countless lives.”

According to Lindenberger, his mother has been vocal about her opposition to vaccines for most of his life, and acquired most of her knowledge on the issue from Facebook.

After joining the debate club in school, he learned about the importance of researching facts in order to find “truth in a world of misleading facts and false views.”

As a result, he turned to “accredited sources” like the Center for Disease Control and the World Health Organisation to learn about vaccines, as well as various scientific journals.

He even confronted his mother with the information he’d found, telling her that “there is no link between vaccines and autism”, only for her to fire back with “that’s what they want you to think.”

Lindenberger previously made headlines for asking Reddit for advice on how to go about getting vaccinated, and he started catching up on the vaccines he missed in December of last year.

His mother told Undark that his decision to get vaccinated was “like him spitting on me, saying, ‘You don’t know anything, I don’t trust you with anything.’”

The reality is that as an 18 year-old, Lindenberger doesn’t need to trust his mother to make decisions about his health for him anymore – he’s perfectly capable of making his own, as he has demonstrated by choosing to get vaccinated.

His decision to ignore his mother’s dodgy Facebook-based ‘evidence’ and come to his own conclusion based on science is a commendable one, and with anti-vax sentiment on the rise, it’s one we’ll probably see a lot of children make in the years to come.

The US Government Has Reopened After The Longest-Ever Shutdown, But It’s Only Brief

The government only has enough funding until February 15th.

After the longest government shutdown in American history, President Trump has agreed to temporarily reopen the government.

He announced that a deal had been reached to reopen the government, but only for 3 weeks while lawmakers try to make a deal regarding immigration and border security. The 35-day shutdown ends without the allocation of the $5.7 billion Trump demanded for his border wall.

That doesn’t mean he’s given up on building the wall, though. Speaking to reporters, Trump referenced his ability to declare a national emergency to build the border wall, although as The Guardian points out, many legal experts disagree.

Trump praised the “extraordinary devotion” of federal employees who continued to work throughout the shutdown, and said that he will “make sure that all employees receive their backpay very quickly”. Roughly 1800 GoFundMes have been created in the past six weeks to support federal employees who weren’t being paid as a result of the shutdown.

The announcement follows yesterday’s arrest of one of Trump’s former advisers, Roger Stone. He was charged with witness tampering, obstruction of an official proceeding, and making false statements.

The temporary nature of the funding means that if there’s no deal by February 15th, Trump can shut down the government once more, as he clearly stated in a tweet this morning, writing: “…in 21 days, if no deal is done, it’s off to the races!”

Nonetheless, this three-week reprieve will come as a relief to the 800,000 federal employees who continued working throughout the shutdown. Here’s hoping the Democrats continue to refuse to fund Trump’s wall, and that he just accepts defeat and doesn’t throw the country into chaos again. But that doesn’t sound very Trump-like, does it? Shame.

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