Bleats

The World’s A Dumpsterfire Judging By What Y’all Watching On YouTube

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We’re almost at the end of the year, and YouTube has joined the party of yearly wraps by releasing their annual list of the most watched videos. 2019 was a weird year for everyone, and tbh nothing reflects that quite as much as this list.

In a classic ‘disappointed but not surprised’ moment, the most watched YouTuber of the year was PewDiePie. He’s a Swedish gaming vlogger whose real name is Felix Kjellberg, and he’s been caught up in so many racist scandals that I can’t even believe he’s still around. 

There was the many, many anti-semitic jokes, the time he screamed the n-word in a live stream, and only a couple of months ago he pledged $50,000 to an anti-hate group to make up for all the racist shit he’s done – only to withdraw it after his fans got mad at him.

Seriously, can we cancel PewDiePie already.

Sticking to the theme of hot messes, James Charles’s No More Lies dominated the list of trending videos all over the globe. It was the number 1 top-trending video for the USA, and hit the top 10 for most other countries. The 41 minute long explanation of what the hell was going on with James and Tati Westbrook. 

In all honesty, I’d never watched a video from either of them before, but even I got sucked into the drama. All of that over vitamin gummies, amazing.

The most watched music video globally was Daddy Yankee & Snow’s Con Calm, but in The USA you’ll be shocked – shocked I tell you! – to find out that the most watched music video was Lil Nas X with Old Town Road. Yee haw. 

I almost expected My Chemical Romance to crack the list after it was announced that they’d reunited  tbh.

Shawn Mendes and Camila Cabello got the most liked music video for Señorita, you know, the video where they really need us to know that they hook up a lot. Much like every single other one of their videos. And performances. And public appearances.

Basically this video list was proof that we’re all messy bitches and drama hounds, but I think we already knew that. Here’s to another year of bin fire content in 2020.

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Good Luck To The Convicted Murderer Trying To Be Forgotten By The Internet

The internet never forgets.

A German murderer who was convicted of killing two people has gone to court to try and win the right to have his name wiped from the internet. Yep, he wants to be totally forgotten.

The case was thrown out when he first tried in 2012, but in news nobody expected, he took it to the high court and they said he does actually have that right. 

It’s called the “right to be forgotten”, and it’s exactly what it sounds like. It’s only a law in the European Union and Argentina, but if you win it then publications that have written about you legally have to restrict who can access their online archives. 

Everything is

I have two major problems with this.

One: The guy is a convicted murderer. He straight up shot two people on a yacht in 1982 and seriously hurt another person. He went to jail and was only released in 2002. Surely it’s in the public interest to know whether or not the person who lives next to you is someone who is prone to shooting people during an argument.

Two: Good luck with that one, buddy. The internet never forgets, and this particular case was high profile enough over in Germany that there have been books written about it and a whole documentary series made. 

Oof

Look. If Beyonce couldn’t get that unflattering Super Bowl picture of her removed from the internet, there’s no way in hell anybody else can. Seriously. Do you honestly reckon you can pull off something that Beyonce couldn’t?

We’re in a world where technology is advancing at such a stupid fast rate, it’s probably fair to say that we’ve all lost control of the internet at this point.

I mean, we probably have

I’m going to go out on a limb here and say that if you’re worried everyone will be able to Google the fact that you killed some people, maybe you should have thought about that before you murdered anyone? We’re not about to magically forget the fact that you’re a murderer, dude.

Just a suggestion.

Artists That Deserved Better Than Becoming A Meme

Well the memes start coming and they don't stop coming.

Let’s just dive into it, shall we? Some injustices have been done here, people, and I will no longer stand for it. Memes are fabulous, and I love them as much as the next person, but there are so many artists that don’t deserve to go down in history as “that person who played that one song from that one video”.

Imogen Heap
This article started out as me ranting to my boyfriend about how Imogen Heap is so much more than a meme, and honestly I was originally going to call this whole thing “Imogen Heap Deserved Better”. Hide And Seek’s use in the season 2 finale of The O.C. cemented it into pop culture, but when The Lonely Island and a young Shia LaBeouf got their hands on it in the SNL writers room, this happened and the song has never been the same since.

Bag Raiders
Shooting Stars became the soundtrack of the first big meme after Vine died (RIP). Videos of people leaping off stuff, and frequently injuring themselves in the process, soundtracked by Shooting Stars was… way funnier than it should be. The Aussie duo have heaps more bangers though, if you Google further than the meme.

Simon and Garfunkel
You knew this was coming. The Sound Of Silence is a gorgeous, haunting song about feeling crushingly isolated. And I can’t listen to it without thinking of cats pulling sad faces, goddamnit. 

Smash Mouth
I feel like Smash Mouth needs to be mentioned because they’ve been letting everyone on Twitter know for years that they’re actually more than “that band from Shrek”. Seeing as Shrek is basically just a 1hr 35mins long meme anyway, they have an uphill battle ahead of them. 

Darude
Look, I’ll admit that I don’t actually know any Darude songs other than Sandstorm, but nobody deserves to have their song remind an entire country of Tony Abbott in speed dealer sunnies.

Rick Astley
The OG musician that doesn’t deserve to be remembered as just a meme song. He had a ton of number 1 hits before the internet was even a thing, let alone memes. He’s never gonna give you up, he’s never gonna let you down, and he’s sure as hell never gonna be able to forget Rickrolling. Poor dude.

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