Bleats

Mila Kunis Is Supporting Planned Parenthood In The Snarkiest Way Possible

And it makes perfect Pence.

Mila Kunis is the actor you’ve had a crush on since you saw her in That 70s Show, and also everything since. And she is a supporter of Planned Parenthood, the US equivalent of our various Family Planning services.

As you’re hopefully aware, Family Planning (or SHiNE SA, if you’re reading this from Adelaide) aren’t helping make spreadsheets to schedule kids: they provide comprehensive sexual and reproductive health services and information. And a small but vital part of that is abortion services, because not all pregnancies are welcome and not all sex is consensual.

Anyway, the US government have defunded the organisation as part of their increasingly strong anti-abortion policy, leaving them dependent on donations from citizens.

Like vice-president Mike Pence.

Now, to be clear Pence himself doesn’t support Planned Parenthood – heck, he won’t even have a meeting with a woman if his wife isn’t present, which suggests he has some colourfully odd ideas about non-men.

But there are many donations in his name flooding into the organisation, thanks to Ms Kunis who announced on Conan O’Brien’s show in 2017 that she was making a monthly donation to Planned Parenthood in the name of Mike Pence, in order that he’d get an automatic thank you every time.

“As a reminder that there are women out there in the world who may or may not agree with his platform, I put him on a list of recurring donations that are made in his name to Planned Parenthood. Every month, his office gets a little letter that says ‘an anonymous donation has been made in your name… it’s a peaceful protest.”

Since then thousands of Americans have followed the Mila Kunis example in donating to Planned Parenthood in Pence’s name, and frankly we’re down for it.

So, anyone looked at the Marie Stopes donations page and accidentally put Barnaby Joyce’s details in there? Just asking.

Getting Bachelor-Ripped Means Applying Maths To Food Which Sounds Exhausting

Numbers and diet, together at last.

Matt Agnew, as in The Bachelor, is a very ripped man. And this is something which isn’t immediately obvious since everyone on television is basically attractive and thin, but then you see his arms and involuntarily declare DEAR GOD SIR ARE THOSE GUNS REGISTERED?

And he’s explained to Ten Daily how he has achieved this level of ripped, and it involves lots of weights, not eating breakfast, and maths.

So: first up, he runs and lifts weights four times a week, which is approximately loads more than I’m prepared to do for anything, and is why I have the physique of a half deflated balloon while he looks like an action figure.

But it’s his approach to portion control that takes things into the realms of algebra:

“I’m pretty mathematical with my approach, so I generally weigh out everything and measure it all. It’s not necessary to be so diligent, but I think it’s good to do it even for a week or two just to help you get an idea of portion sizes and things like that.”‘

And… look, that sounds very sensible and smart but some of us get home at weird times of the day and have things going on, Matt, we can’t be wasting time setting up a countertop lab.

Of course, the dude’s a scientist so maybe he just has those things lying around. In any case, you want to get as ripped as Matt, you need to start Bachelor-measuring stuff more often.

If You Didn’t Change Your Undies Today You’re Not Alone, Sadly

If you've ever wondered "ewww, what the hell is that stench?" then we have some horrible data for you.

Look, we don’t want to pant shame anyone but if you started the day without a change of undies then… look, you can do better.

In fact, a statistically significant number of you are apparently not changing your intimates every week and that’s just horrifying, although also explains why the bus smells like that.

And it’s a story which we’d like to take with a pinch of salt, if only to do something to help disinfect the manky dacks which are apparently being worn all over the shop.

The survey from which this statistic is taken, you see, is an American underwear company – and you might justifiably think it’s coming from a place that has a pretty active interest in people buying more underwear.

But even if we assume that Tommy John’s numbers might be a little skewed in favour of greater smalls-purchases, the idea that 45 per cent of Americans are not wearing fresh underwear daily and that 13 per cent of them are wearing them for a week or more is cause for worry.

Women are rather more assiduous about changing their pants than are men, which should surprise literally no-one. But even so, there’s little about this story which should give people relief or happiness.

And there’s a reason you should wash your undies and why shouldn’t hang onto them for years on end: they’re hugging a high-bacteria part of your body, some of which can get a bit… well, infecty.

In any case: maybe give your dacks a bit of a bonus scrub, or treat yourself to a new tighty-whitey three-pack, gents.

But at the very least: different crotch-fabric each day, please. Society doesn’t ask that much of you, at least do this small thing for us.

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