Saddle up, folks, because we have a doozy of a tale about a failed dinner, Darwinism in motion, and unexpected viral stardom.
A Chinese vlogger by the name of “seaside girl Little Seven” live-streamed herself trying to eat a still-alive octopus because, well, it’s apparently what people want to watch in China these days.
Rather than be tamely consumed, the octopus fought back and what was initially a case of animal cruelty masquerading as a foodie video quickly descended into a desperate struggle for survival.
Upon realising that it was getting eaten, the octopus latched onto the woman’s face with an iron grip. After 30 seconds of struggling, screaming, and crying, the vlogger managed to finally break free from the octopus’s, leaving her with a bloodied cheek and the complete loss of her dignity.
Words alone can’t do this display of ridiculousness and karmic justice so just watch the whole thing unfold right here.
The vlogger may have ended up with an empty stomach and a bleeding cheek but it definitely worked from an exposure standpoint as her little video quickly went viral and garnered millions of views.
Now you’d think that she would’ve learned a valuable lesson on not eating a live octopus after this little incident but it sounds like she literally took nothing from it as she tells The Independent that her “face is disfigured” but intends to “eat [the octopus] in the next video.”
Whatever you do, definitely don’t feel any sympathy for this woman whatsoever because what she did was just straight up animal cruelty since eating any creature that’s still breathing is just awful.
If said creature is an octopus, then that’s even worse because those things are some of the smartest invertebrates in the world and can rival dogs in intelligence. Couple that with the fact that octopuses almost certainly feel pain, it’s no wonder why the vlogger was attacked.
So just a piece of advice, seaside girl Little Seven, please don’t go eating another live octopus. If you decide to still go forward with it and it retaliates, then don’t say we didn’t warn you. Plus you definitely deserve it at that point.