Bleats

'One Night Stand' Is The Most Realistic Depiction Of A Drunken Hook-Up Aftermath You'll Ever Play

Unsettlingly real.

We’ve seen one night stands and drunken hook-ups play out in awkward and occasionally comedic fashion plenty of times in films and video games. But perhaps nothing captures the experience quite as honestly and realistically as One Night Stand.

Developed by indie dev Kinmoku, One Night Stand is less of a “video game” and more of a visual novel or interactive movie. There’s no shooting, no princess you have to rescue or some alien world you need to save.

Instead, all it involves is dialogue and conversing with the woman whom you drunkenly hooked up with the night before and finding out more about who she is, what exactly happened and what your next course of action should be.

It’s very minimalistic and befitting of a premise as limited as the awkward morning after a one night stand and yet it all works brilliantly.

Using a branching dialogue system, you can direct the conversation with the mystery woman in whatever way you see fit. You can choose to be an honest and respectful guest or you can opt to be an arsehole who steals her underwear and bails when the woman is out of the room.

It says a lot about a game that allows you to steal someone’s panties within five minutes of starting out.

Without going into the dialogue options too much as it will spoil the experience, One Night Stand is a unique visual novel in that it somehow manages to translate the real awkward emotion and experience of an actual hook-up into a playable format.

There’s a genuine sense of bewilderment when you first wake up with a raging hangover, the feeling of dread after realising you’re in a stranger’s bed, the awkwardness of having to converse with said stranger, and the vulnerability that arises when you’re trying to re-establish boundaries.

“So… you, uh, like stuff?”

There’s more than enough replay value in One Night Stand due to its 12 possible outcomes, all of which are relatable to many. There’s a little repetitiveness but the generally concise yet open-ended dialogue also encourages you to play over and over again in order to see how things play out.

As a whole, One Night Stand doesn’t really offer any new insights into drunken hook-ups. Rather, it’s more of a sounding board for players to share their thoughts and opinions on the matter.

It’s not a particularly comfortable game to play, there’s weird tension throughout the experience and you occasionally left wondering whether you did the right thing, not unlike an actual one night stand actually.

Perhaps that’s the entire point of the game.

The Human Centipede Director's New Movie Is Somehow Even More Vile

What on earth goes on in Tom Six's head?

There have been some terrible movies made over the last few decades but Tom Six’s The Human Centipede trilogy is in its own category of filth. Sewing a bunch of people mouth-to-anus is a pretty messed up idea as it is but seeing it play out on film is something otherworldly level of vile altogether.

Well folks, we’re about to get a new Tom Six masterpiece that’s somehow just as – if not more – vile as The Human Centipede trilogy and it doesn’t even include any mouth-to-anus scenes (as far as I know anyway).

Called The Onania Club, Tom Six’s latest anti-magnum opus revolves around a woman who has an uncontrollable urge to, uh, fap to real-life scenes of violence, trauma and death. Next thing you know, she ends up joining the titular Onania Club, which basically consists of other women who also have seriously questionable fapping tastes, but things escalate from problematic to outright distressing as the women start staging actual tragedies to masturbate to.

Yeah look, there’s no dancing around it, it is some seriously twisted crap and one must wonder what goes on through Tom Six’s head when he comes up with “movies” like The Onania Club.

While we’re viewing The Onania Club as something we wouldn’t touch with a 10-foot pole, Six sees it as a film about “schadenfreude.” According to a press release (via Indiewire), he claims it is a “social commentary on the ever-growing political correctness in the privileged Western world and the hypocrisy of that.”

And just to make sure he means business, Six described the film as “part ‘Sex and the City’ on evil steroids and part pure, pitch black, comedy” so make of that what you will.

Reading between the lines, it seems like Tom Six made a “film” decrying today’s “woke culture” (which isn’t a thing) as a way to make something unapologetically offensive while telling people they’re not allowed to get mad at it because it’s art. He and Todd Phillips must be friends or something.

Regardless of Tom Six’s (limited) capabilities as a filmmaker and storyteller, at least The Human Centipede was an original – and gross – concept. The Onania Club is nothing more than a B-grade rip-off of David Cronenberg’s Crash, which in itself was twisted enough.

As for when The Onania Club is coming out, there’s no release date yet but look, does that really even matter at this point? It’ll come out when it comes out and it’ll almost certainly be ranked alongside The Human Centipede as something that exists as a “movie” only on paper.

Feminists Have A Way Better Time In Bed, That's Just Science

Science once again asking life's biggest questions.

Not everyone out there is fully onboard the feminism train and that’s perfectly fine. Everyone is free to believe in what they want. But here’s a reason why anti-feminists may want to consider swapping teams: science says feminists have a hell of a lot more orgasms during sex.

According to a study published in the Archives of Sexual Behaviour, 462 heterosexual women from the UK were surveyed about their worldviews such as political ideology, religious beliefs, sexist and gendered beliefs, as well as their sexual beliefs and history.

After compiling all the data, researchers found that those who held anti-feminist views had faked way more orgasms over their lifetime compared to feminists.

So according to science, this means Sally is a raging anti-feminist.

Now that’s not to say only anti-feminists faked orgasms as 77% of the surveyed women in the study said they faked it when in bed. Other extenuating factors such as partner’s sexual skill (which unsurprisingly led to less orgasms) concerns over infidelity (which led to a higher likelihood of faking it), time management or trying to end bad sex quickly, played a big part in whether a woman faked an orgasm.

But perhaps the most interesting finding from this very scientific study was how gender ideology and beliefs factored into the frequency of real splooshes.

The study found that women who held anti-feminist or hostile sexism views fake orgasms more frequently compared to feminists and it has nothing to do with physical capabilities, as study author Emily A. Harris explains:

“Specifically, women who think that a man needs them to orgasm in order for that man to feel satisfied are going to feel greater pressure to orgasm, and will be more likely to fake her orgasms.

“Women who hold anti-feminist attitudes don’t have anything holding them back from faking orgasm, whereas women who adopt a feminist worldview may not fake orgasm because it goes against her belief in a woman’s right to pleasure, and her right to talk about sex openly.”

As interesting as these results are, the study isn’t perfect as it only looks into the experience of heterosexual women. Harris says further research into the topic is needed, particularly for women who aren’t with male partners, as well as additional insight into questions such as how faking an orgasm makes the “faker” and their partner feel.

So for those heterosexual women who are on the feminist fence and need a nudge in one direction, science just gave you a very good – and pleasurable reason – to fall into the feminist camp.

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