Bleats

Death Stranding Will Let You Pee On Anything And That's All You Really Need To Know

Just give it all the Game of the Year accolades right now.

Ever since video game auteur Hideo Kojima pulled the curtains back on his new game, Death Stranding, we’ve all been wondering one thing: what in the name of all things holy is it about?

With the release of a new trailer at 2019 Gamescom, we’re no closer to getting a clear answer from Kojima but we did get a glimpse of an intriguing new Death Stranding mechanic: the ability to have the protagonist Sam (Norman Reedus) piss on anything.

(Starts at around the 2:16:00 mark)

As for how peeing fits into the grand scheme of Death Stranding, Kojima says it can be used as a weapon. Somehow.

So in summary, Kojima has weaponised piss. That’s a sentence I didn’t think I would ever write.

While the trailer doesn’t show how deadly Sam’s pee is, it is apparently potent enough to make mushrooms grow abnormally fast. Maybe something magical will happen when you pee on enemies. Or maybe you’ll just piss them off.

Kojima has put some seriously weird stuff in his previous games but he’s just taking the piss now with Death Stranding.

More like Norman Peedus.

Besides showing off Sam’s ability to piss on anything and make mushrooms grow, the new footage also featured some looks at the gorgeous environments, some ladder climbing and the introduction of a new character, Mama, who is played by Once Upon A Time In Hollywood‘s Margaret Qualley.

Now despite everything we’ve seen so far from Death Stranding – and there’s been a decent amount of footage – we still don’t have a clear idea what Kojima’s latest game entails.

It’s an open world game set in a weird future that focuses on the idea of connection, death, and the “stands” between those two concepts; babies are also super important for some reason; and a heap of Kojima’s celebrity mates are in it because why the hell not at this point.

I don’t get it but I love it anyway.

But look, let’s just give it all the game of the year accolades right now solely for this peeing mechanic because the developers have put an insane amount of thought into it, like having Sam turn away from the camera any time you try to get a glimpse of his junk (you would’ve tried to look, don’t lie) and having a meter telling you how much pee Sam has left in his bladder.

If they put that much effort into getting the pissing mechanics right in Death Stranding, you can only imagine all other crazy stuff Hideo Kojima has in store for us when the game drops on November 8.

Jack Black Is What Happens When Your Childhood Fantasies Actually Comes True

Jack Black is like a real life Peter Pan without the character's jerkass parts.

We all have wild, fantastical dreams when we were children. Some want to be a wildly famous movie star while others want to be a rock music god of sorts. There are also a worrying number of kids who want to be *shudder* YouTube stars but hey, might as well let your dreams go crazy when you’re a kid.

In 99.99% of these cases, those childhood dreams end up unrealised because it’s all a crazy long shot. But there are of course exceptions to the rule and there’s no bigger exception than the one and only Jack Black.

The man has carved out quite a career in the movie and music biz over the the last three decades. With the opening of his YouTube channel, Jack can add “YouTuber” to his CV and with that, he’s gone beyond all our regular labels for a regular celebrity.

What he’s become is the embodiment of every person’s childhood fantasy if they all actually come true.

Just think about it. He’s somehow carved out a critically and commercially successful movie career that appeals to nearly every demographic despite not being your traditional Hollywood leading man.

Kids love him because of films like Kung Fu Panda, School of Rock and Jumanji; and adults love him because he’s shown some great comedic and dramatic work in stuff like Bernie and Tropic Thunder.

It’s crazy how surprisingly versatile Jack is when it comes to his movie work.

When he’s not starring in movies, Jack is off being a rock star with his buddy Kyle Glass as part of the wildly – and surprisingly – successful Tenacious D.

Performing raunchy comedic rock songs that you wrote with your best mate while high isn’t the usual recipe for success when you want to be a famous music star, and yet Jack somehow carved out his own niche within the music space.

When you’re rubbing shoulders with rock royalty like Dave Grohl, talented folks like Jack White lining up to work with you, and you’ve sang the greatest song in the world to a demon, you’re doing something right.

You’d think Jack would’ve been satisfied after conquering the movie and music worlds but he somehow managed to break through the final frontier of being a celebrity by becoming a famous video game YouTube star.

After originally starting his channel as a project with his son in 2018, it’s since taken off like wildfire and currently has over 4.2 million subscribers.

But perhaps what makes Jack’s YouTube channel stand out the raw, unedited approach he takes to his content. There’s no “WASSUP GUYZ!” intros or “LIKE AND SUBSCRIBE TO MY CHANNEL!” call to actions, it’s all just Jack playing games and being his usual goofy self.

Your childhood dreams are probably just mere fantasy at this point but rather than think of it with a “what if” mentality, you might as well live out those dreams vicariously through Jack Black because he’s fulfilling them right now by doing nothing more than living his best life.

Fortnite's Biggest Star 'Ninja' Ditching Twitch Is Like Marvel Breaking Up With Disney

It's a big move from Ninja and it's a great one for streaming.

We’ve had big sporting moves like Michael Jordan leaving basketball for baseball, Roger Federer leaving Nike for Uniqlo, and LeBron James leaving Cleveland for Miami Heat. Now we have a momentous occasion in the video game streaming world that ranks up there with those aforementioned switches: Tyler “Ninja” Blevins is leaving Twitch to stream exclusively on the competing platform, Mixer.

This is a huge move for the Fortnite streamer as Twitch was where he first made his mark on the video game world.

Starting as a professional Halo 3 player in 2009, Ninja turned to streaming in 2011 and rose quickly up the ranks when he jumped on the Fortnite train. Soon he was in demand everywhere, even in areas outside of gaming. When you’re streaming Fortnite with Drake, chatting to Ellen DeGeneres and making it on Time’s most influential people of 2019 list, you’re doing something right.

The knee-jerk reaction towards Ninja leaving the platform that made his career for a much smaller, competing platform is that it seems super risky.

But the reality is that his move is great for the streaming space.

Ninja is one of the most popular streamers on Twitch, which holds a firm monopoly over the streaming scene with 72.2% of total live stream time spent on the platform compared to Mixer’s 3%. But those numbers will be change dramatically over the coming months when Ninja gets going on Mixer and his massive fanbase migrate over from Twitch.

This will make a dent in Twitch’s monopoly as fans and creators will now be looking to Mixer as an alternative, which will provide some much needed competition and innovation in the space. It will also bring exposure to creators already on Mixer who otherwise wouldn’t have gotten much attention had Ninja stayed on Twitch.

Think of this whole Ninja/Twitch/Mixer situation like if Marvel broke up with Disney and did its own thing independently.

Marvel’s brand and fanbase is large enough that it can be successful on its own, Disney’s massive monopoly on the film market would be smaller thus providing much needed competition, which in turn will foster greater creativity and exposure for other filmmakers and studios who will want to get a piece of the more evenly spread pie.

How this will all pan out remains to be seen but Ninja promises that his streams will be “exactly the same” as they were on Twitch, meaning he’ll still be on the Fortnite train, at least for now.

But seeing as how Mixer is owned by Microsoft, who will be releasing a new Halo game soon, perhaps we could see Ninja swap games at some point. He talked about going back to his roots with the move away from Twitch and what better way to do that than to re-visit the franchise that got him into the streaming scene in the first place.

#Trending

Show More Show Less

Follow Us