Bleats

Vegans Are On A Mission To Make Every Italian Cry With This Lasagne

They’ve gone too far.

I’m of Arabic descent so ‘red meat’ is basically my middle name.

I’m also, if I do say so myself, a pretty nice person. And like most nice people, I don’t hate things unnecessarily. Take vegans for example: they’re just out there doing their thing and I’m okay with that. Just because I love a Sunday roast doesn’t mean they can’t enjoy a cauliflower steak.

Plus, my boyfriend goes vegan sometimes so I kinda HAVE to be nice.

But my respect for vegans is a sham. I’ve been living in ignorant bliss for my entire 23 years and now my eyes have been opened to the truth.

Truth = this vegan ‘lasagne’ (read: abomination).

Thus began my hatred of every non-meat eater in the world.

First of all, that’s not a lasagne. It’s a SALAD. Why are you lying to yourselves vegans? You’re a lot of things but I didn’t take you for a race of liars.

Also…why you do this???

Like, how is that appealing to you? I love all foods (hunger does not discriminate) but that^ thing makes me the opposite of hungry.

I can feel the carbs in my body crying. I’m pretty sure if I listen hard enough I can even hear all the Italians sobbing in agony.

I feel like it’s my responsibility to remind all the vegans in the world that PACKAGED PASTA IS VEGAN. There’s vegan cheese too AND vegan meat. If you really wanted a lasagne you could have made a lasagne and spared me this kind of pain.

More importantly, you could have enjoyed a filling, tasty meal rather than a glorified salad and whatever that creamy white dressing is.

@Vegans, for the love of all things good and holy learn how to cook proper vegan food. Or just learn how to cook because stacked lettuce leaves are not a meal. 

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