Bleats

Now We Know That Vaping Could Kill Us All, Can You Leave Your Lame Vape Cloud At Home?

Keep it to yourself, marshmallow-breath.

For a long time, it seemed like we were making good progress. Smokers were ashamed to be puffing out cancer on strangers. Then along came vaping to change people’s behaviour and attitudes, and make my commute a living hell in the process.

Exposing others to regular cigarette smoke became taboo once doctors realised that it’s dangerous regardless of which side of the ciggy you’re on. Obviously, it’s also just plain rude, and it shouldn’t take a health scare to make people act like adults, but here we are.

And now, what was supposed to be the ‘safe’ alternative to cigarettes is now hospitalising people in the US, breathing new life into the debate. With all the bad press, vapers really need to be more careful about where they blow.

People are being diagnosed with crazy lung diseases and infections, and the Center for Disease Control and Prevention puts the number of vape-related incidents at 215 cases. A lot of the questions about the sudden ‘epidemic’ remain unanswered for now, which is one of the many reasons to stop treating vaping like a hilarious meme – especially if it involves puffing on other people.

So many iconic Vines that have to be cancelled now. 😔

For real, if a cigarette smoker acted like some of you fools, they would have their ass handed to them. Your juul might have a vaguely pleasant scent, but that’s about the only thing you’ve got going for you – it’s still super gross to have someone’s nasty hot air blasting over you at 7am in the morning. And it’s definitely not a good time to introduce the sickly sweetness of artificial marshmallow into the lives of your fellow commuters.

Besides, we don’t really know much about how the vapour can affect bystanders. The hospital cases are mostly linked to inhalation of solvent oil, and most studies have found the emission of nicotine to be minimal. However, less risk is not no risk, as this study proved. And with unregulated DIY pens and liquids going around, you shouldn’t subject others to unknown side effects.

Me waiting for the train.

It must be noted at this point that, for the time being, vaping without a prescription is very much illegal in Australia if the liquid contains nicotine or CBD. And no-smoking area laws still apply – another obvious reason to avoid huffing it in public. Yes, that includes train stations, you nasty individuals.

The concerns about an emerging ‘black market’ have prompted a legalisation movement, which reckons that if vaping is legalised then it can be regulated better – as well as giving cigarette smokers a pathway out. And I guess that makes sense, but is no one considering the greater implications here? The public interest for those of us who don’t feel like being shrouded in strangers’ mouth-clouds all day?

Well, this could get very foggy indeed.

Robert Pattinson Says He Smells Like A Crayon And I Need To Know Which Colour

Another wild yarn from R-Patz.

Robert Pattinson has gained quite a reputation for spinning wild yarns during interviews, but his most recent comments on his body odour have me truly shaken.

In a recent interview with Allure the star of the upcoming The Batman film said, “Lots of people tell me I smell like a crayon.”

The interviewer – understandably bewildered by this statement – then asked, “Like you’re made of wax?”

To which R-Patz responded, “Yes! Like I’m embalmed.”

I have so many questions. What colour crayon does Pattinson smell like? What brand? Is he using lots of crayons? And most importantly, who are these multiple people who are telling him he smells like crayon!? Is that an insult, or a compliment?

It’s not the first time Robert Pattinson’s scent has come up in conversation. Back in 2009, E! News reported that an unidentified source who worked “very closely” with the actor on New Moon said “he stinks.”

“I mean, it’s awful,” the source said. “He never showers, and it drives people on the set crazy.”

“He completely reeks,” an unidentified crew member added. Yikes.

It’s been over a decade since then, so we can only hope Robert Pattinson has swapped his lack of showering for an obsession with crayons. 

Speaking of celebrity scents, celebrity tattoo artist Lauren Winzer dishes on what Post Malone smells like on It’s Been A Big Day For…below:

During his interview with Allure, Pattinson was also asked about being recently named the “most handsome man” in the world according to science.

“It’s weird,” he said. “I never was really up for the good-looking-guy roles, because I’ve always been quite awkward when meeting people.”

“My Harry Potter role was a good-looking guy, and it was a shock that it was quite easy to get. And then in Twilight, [Edward is] beautiful, beautiful, beautiful. When I turned up for the auditions, I had done a job where I’d dyed my hair black, because I had an inch and a half of roots, and I had waxed my body. And then I had a few months where I’d been drinking beer all day, so I had this hairless, chubby body. I looked like a baby with a wig on.”

Hairless, chubby, waxed or smelling like a crayon – we’ll take Robert Pattinson any which way.

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