Bleats

Vogue Has Had Enough Of Celebs Wanting To Be President And YES DEAR GOD YES

Maybe - and hear us out - it's better to have people in power that do more than post weird things on Twitter?

It is entirely possible that you’re not familiar with the political aspirations of Marianne Williamson, best selling spiritual healing author, moderately-notorious Oprah pal, and current Democratic presidential candidate.

And if you are a reader of Vogue that ignorance will only be reinforced since she is not one of the five Democratic women featured in their cover story Madam President? Five Candidates On What It Will Take To Shatter The Most Stubborn Glass Ceiling.

No. No, we’re not.

The reasons for her omission from the piece are not explicit (although it does mention her in the article), although it’s most likely that she is at best a rank outsider for the gig. And yes, we realise recent US political history doesn’t have a great track record with that particular line of reasoning.

Fun fact: the other women running for office don’t limit their political outreach to books about spiritual weight loss and incomprehensible tweetspirations.

You… you know that words mean things, right?

In her defence, unlike the rest of the women interviewed for the piece (Amy Klobuchar, Tulsi Gabbard, Kirsten Gillibrand, Elizabeth Warren, and Kamala Harris) she might have zero experience in public office – but she reportedly used to be Laura Dern’s roommate so… um, checkmate?

Anyway, she took to Insta to decry this meanie bobeanie editorial decision:

“The framers of the Constitution did not make Vogue magazine the gate keepers of America’s political process,” she accurately pointed out. “If they had wanted to say more, than [sic] they would have. They didn’t say more for a reason: they were leaving it to every generation to determine for itself the skill set it feels is necessary to navigate the times in which they live.”

Skills like:

Health policy: sorted!

Now, we appreciate that there are some differences of opinion on whether it’s good to elect people with no idea of what public policy development who seem to spend a lot of time spewing actual nonsense on Twitter.

However, if Vogue are taking a hard line against putting fourth-tier celebrities into the White House, we strongly second this proposal. You know, just in the interests of continued human survival. And hell, we’d like the rest of media to follow suit.

Then again, maybe we’re being unfair about the capacity of people to rise to challenges. After all, Ms Williamson is reportedly currently pregnant with a better version of herself.

Robert Pattinson Says He Smells Like A Crayon And I Need To Know Which Colour

Another wild yarn from R-Patz.

Robert Pattinson has gained quite a reputation for spinning wild yarns during interviews, but his most recent comments on his body odour have me truly shaken.

In a recent interview with Allure the star of the upcoming The Batman film said, “Lots of people tell me I smell like a crayon.”

The interviewer – understandably bewildered by this statement – then asked, “Like you’re made of wax?”

To which R-Patz responded, “Yes! Like I’m embalmed.”

I have so many questions. What colour crayon does Pattinson smell like? What brand? Is he using lots of crayons? And most importantly, who are these multiple people who are telling him he smells like crayon!? Is that an insult, or a compliment?

It’s not the first time Robert Pattinson’s scent has come up in conversation. Back in 2009, E! News reported that an unidentified source who worked “very closely” with the actor on New Moon said “he stinks.”

“I mean, it’s awful,” the source said. “He never showers, and it drives people on the set crazy.”

“He completely reeks,” an unidentified crew member added. Yikes.

It’s been over a decade since then, so we can only hope Robert Pattinson has swapped his lack of showering for an obsession with crayons. 

Speaking of celebrity scents, celebrity tattoo artist Lauren Winzer dishes on what Post Malone smells like on It’s Been A Big Day For…below:

During his interview with Allure, Pattinson was also asked about being recently named the “most handsome man” in the world according to science.

“It’s weird,” he said. “I never was really up for the good-looking-guy roles, because I’ve always been quite awkward when meeting people.”

“My Harry Potter role was a good-looking guy, and it was a shock that it was quite easy to get. And then in Twilight, [Edward is] beautiful, beautiful, beautiful. When I turned up for the auditions, I had done a job where I’d dyed my hair black, because I had an inch and a half of roots, and I had waxed my body. And then I had a few months where I’d been drinking beer all day, so I had this hairless, chubby body. I looked like a baby with a wig on.”

Hairless, chubby, waxed or smelling like a crayon – we’ll take Robert Pattinson any which way.

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