Bleats

Vogue Has Had Enough Of Celebs Wanting To Be President And YES DEAR GOD YES

Maybe - and hear us out - it's better to have people in power that do more than post weird things on Twitter?

It is entirely possible that you’re not familiar with the political aspirations of Marianne Williamson, best selling spiritual healing author, moderately-notorious Oprah pal, and current Democratic presidential candidate.

And if you are a reader of Vogue that ignorance will only be reinforced since she is not one of the five Democratic women featured in their cover story Madam President? Five Candidates On What It Will Take To Shatter The Most Stubborn Glass Ceiling.

No. No, we’re not.

The reasons for her omission from the piece are not explicit (although it does mention her in the article), although it’s most likely that she is at best a rank outsider for the gig. And yes, we realise recent US political history doesn’t have a great track record with that particular line of reasoning.

Fun fact: the other women running for office don’t limit their political outreach to books about spiritual weight loss and incomprehensible tweetspirations.

You… you know that words mean things, right?

In her defence, unlike the rest of the women interviewed for the piece (Amy Klobuchar, Tulsi Gabbard, Kirsten Gillibrand, Elizabeth Warren, and Kamala Harris) she might have zero experience in public office – but she reportedly used to be Laura Dern’s roommate so… um, checkmate?

Anyway, she took to Insta to decry this meanie bobeanie editorial decision:

“The framers of the Constitution did not make Vogue magazine the gate keepers of America’s political process,” she accurately pointed out. “If they had wanted to say more, than [sic] they would have. They didn’t say more for a reason: they were leaving it to every generation to determine for itself the skill set it feels is necessary to navigate the times in which they live.”

Skills like:

Health policy: sorted!

Now, we appreciate that there are some differences of opinion on whether it’s good to elect people with no idea of what public policy development who seem to spend a lot of time spewing actual nonsense on Twitter.

However, if Vogue are taking a hard line against putting fourth-tier celebrities into the White House, we strongly second this proposal. You know, just in the interests of continued human survival. And hell, we’d like the rest of media to follow suit.

Then again, maybe we’re being unfair about the capacity of people to rise to challenges. After all, Ms Williamson is reportedly currently pregnant with a better version of herself.

A Politician Played With Parks And Rec And Ben Wyatt Took That Clown To Ice Town

You don't audit the auditor.

Mitch McConnell is the leader of the Republican majority in the US senate, and in Australia he is known, if at all, for two things:

One, being a difficult and at times obstructionist force for Republicans, notorious during the Obama years for taking up hours of senate time on “filibusters” designed to run out the clock and prevent legislation being voted upon.

And two, looking like a wizard turned a cartoon turtle into a real boy.

“Majority leader in the Senate, you say?”

Sorry. That’s unfair. Apologies, Mitch.

Would… would you like some lettuce?

Anyway, it might be a little hard to do spicy social media content when your employer is a socially conservative 77 year old whose major achievements are childishly preventing the world’s largest democracy from functioning.

And thus his social media team have been forced to try other things, like Parks and Recreation gifs.

Hence, “Team Mitch” posted this gif of Ben Wyatt on Twitter:

…and it went down very, very badly with the man who played him, Adam Scott, who had a few conditions on the use of his image.

Even so, it’s also a really weird flex for a serious political figure to evoke Ben Wyatt since one of the main things the character was known for in the show was his dismal political career.

In the character’s backstory Wyatt became the youngest ever mayor of Partridge, Minnesota and spent the entire budget on a citywide winter-themed sports park called Ice Town, for which he was impeached immediately afterwards.

“They were big into rhymes.”

Still, if McConnell wants to show solidarity with another terrible politician that’s presumably his business.

Also: why is no-one in Canberra building us an Ice Town? Come on, clowns: get down with the town.

"Kid Rock Divorced Pamela Anderson Because Of Borat" Is The Most 2006 Sentence Of All Time

Who'd have ever guessed that Kid Rock would be a thin-skinned sook?

If you’ve ever been tempted to take a journey back in time to a more innocent epoch, 2006 probably isn’t the year you’d pick. The MCU was but a Marvel fever dream, the Earth was roamed by Pussycat Dolls, and who’d want to go through losing Steve Irwin all over again?

But that’s where we’re going with the news that it was the year when love truly died, if love is best represented by the union of Kid Rock and Pamela Anderson. Which it is not.

You see, according to Sacha Baron Cohen, he and his alter ego Borat was instrumental in ending the couple’s five months of wedded bliss.

Pamela Anderson, the former Baywatch star then at the height of her pop-culture powers, had a cameo in the Borat film in which she was “kidnapped”.

Um… it was a different time.

Kid Rock, by all accounts, was furious about the film – presumably because he knew that everyone would bellow “my wife” at him. And who can blame him?

“Kid Rock saw the movie,” Cohen told the Last Laugh podcast, “and I texted Pamela Anderson and asked, ‘How did it go? What did he think?’” said Cohen. “And she texted back, ‘He’s getting divorced.’”

 

Genuinely preferable.

Of course, their differences would only escalate over the years as Kid became a hard-right supporter of Trump and Anderson because a vocal advocate for the freedom of Julian Assange.

So maybe that apparent love match was doomed regardless.

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