Bleats

You Could Soon Be Jailed For Helping Your Dumb Mate With Their Uni Assignment

They'll have to earn that HD on their own.

Uni assignments, homework, and exams can get overwhelming. Sometimes you may need your smart friend to help you get through it all in exchange for a quick payday or a nice lunch at the unibar.

Well sorry to be the bearer of bad news but you’re going to have to do your assignments all on your own because having a mate helping you out (or vice versa) could soon be a jailable offence in Australia.

As if millions of voices suddenly cried out in terror and were suddenly silenced. I fear something terrible has happened.

The ABC reports that the Federal Government is planning to outlaw a practice known as “contract cheating”, where students get others to complete their assignments and/or sit exams for them in exchange for a fee.

Students be found guilty under this proposed law could cop a fine up to $210,000 or face up to two years in jail, which is a pretty steep price to pay for a high distinction.

The idea is pretty ridiculous as an elevator pitch as it is but experts are worried that the wording in this proposed bill is too broad and overstepping the line.

Universities Australia chief executive Catriona Jackson and Associate Professor Phillip Dawson from Deakin University’s Centre For Research In Assessment And Digital Learning both stated that the bill’s wording was too vague and needed some serious rework.

Jackson says that “There’s a phrase [in the bill] describing prohibiting the provision of “any part of a piece of work or assignment” that a student’s required to complete,” and the broadness of this phrase could mean something as innocent as a parent proofreading an essay and giving notes might be deemed as illegal.

Dawson is on the same page, saying “If a student passes a note to another student in an exam or an older sibling offers to do the stats for their younger sibling’s assignment, that shouldn’t be a crime.”

Federal Education Minister Dan Tehan is doubling down on this bill for what it’s worth, saying that he “provided the draft legislation in April” and will ‘take feedback into account when finalising the bill”.

There are obviously more holes in this proposed anti-cheating bill than a wheel of Swiss cheese but these could be stamped out before Tehan expects to “introduce it to Parliament this year.”

Anti-cheating isn’t necessarily a bad idea but Tehan might be overstretching here. Beyond the fustercluck in trying to police this whole thing, it’ll take away that wholesome uni experience of panicking over an assignment with your classmates.

So best start hitting the books because you’re gonna have to earn that pass on your own. But you know what they say, “Ps equal degrees”!

Cate Blanchett Was Secretly Part Of An Iconic Group Love Scene And You Didn't Even Notice

Unsurprisingly, she absolutely nailed it.

There are four things that are certain in life: taxes, death, Cate Blanchett being the best part in whatever film she’s in, and a never-ending appreciation of the late Stanley Kubrick’s work.

Now the iconic director’s final film, Eyes Wide Shut, wasn’t his best work but it does contain one of his most iconic scenes: the ritual orgy scene. The scene is excessively eerie due to details like the setting, the creepy Illuminati outfits and the masks. But the most memorable part is the mysterious masked woman, who really sold the whole sequence when she started chanting spine-chilling stuff.

So what does Eyes Wide Shut have to do with Cate Blanchett? Well, it turns out that Cate is the voice behind the chanting masked woman.

In an oral history of Eyes Wide Shut with Vulture for the film’s 20th anniversary, Kubrick’s assistant, Leon Vitali, revealed that the director wanted a voice that’s “warm and sensual” but could also “be part of a ritual”. Kubrick sadly died before he could find someone so the production crew were tasked with that responsibility.

After Tom Cruise and Nicole Kidman suggested Cate, who happened to be in England where they were shooting, the crew got her to come around to chant creepy stuff into a microphone for a few hours.

It ultimately proved to be a genius move as Cate’s voice was like the pièce de résistance of the whole orgy scene, which you can watch right here.

Just a heads up, it’s incredibly NSFW on quite a few levels so watch at your own discretion. For those who can’t stomach it, here’s a puppy.

As for the woman who physically played the masked woman, Abigail Good, she has no hard feelings about Cate’s voice being used instead of hers as she was happy to have worked on what would be Kubrick’s last film and really cherished her time being on set with both the director and Tom.

So there you have it, Cate Blanchett was (technically) in one of film’s greatest orgy scenes that was directed by Stanley Kubrick and you didn’t even notice. That’s a hell of an thing to have listed on your resume.

Russell Crowe Buying Random Stuff While Drunk Is The Hero We Want

Who hasn't bought something weird after having a few too many?

For all the fame, fortune, and oodles of adoration actors get for doing what they do, they’re all humans just like us at the end of the day.

Which brings us to the one and only Russell Crowe.

Yes he’s a famous Hollywood actor but he’s just a regular chap when he goes home at the end of each day, a fact that’s reinforced with this incredibly relatable story about getting drunk and buying random stuff.

During an appearance on The Howard Stern Show, Russell regaled everyone with a story of when he drunkenly bought a dinosaur skill from his Body of Lies co-star Leonardo DiCaprio, which is completely ridiculous and yet something that makes you go, “huh, I can sort of understand that”.

Okay, the getting drunk with Leo DiCaprio part and the buying a dinosaur skull for “30 or 35 grand” bit is definitely something we can’t exactly relate to, but the rest is something we’ve all done at some point.

I mean, who hasn’t had “a bunch of vodka” with friends and decided it was a good idea to hop on eBay for a spot of drunken shopping?

Cheers to the random crap we’ll soon buy for no reason!

As for where the dinosaur skull is now, well Russell has since sold it as part of his “The Art Of Divorce” auction. Ah well, I’m sure another dinosaur skull will come up for sale again soon for those wanting to drop a year’s salary on a vodka-fueled impulse spending spree.

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