Bleats

Bogans Can Dine On The 'Fat Pizza' Reboot Nobody Asked For

Who on earth thought a Fat Pizza reboot would be a good idea?

Fat Pizza, the cult Aussie bogan show you probably saw on SBS at some point, is coming back to our TV screens after 12 or so years off the air.

No, this is not a joke.

Look, I’m just as confused as you are.

The folks over at Channel Seven clearly know something we don’t because the network in their infinite wisdom has ordered a new season of Fat Pizza, titled Fat Pizza: Back In Business.

Show creator Pauly Fenech issued out a statement alongside the announcement and promising fans there will be “political incorrectness at its best.”

“Fat Pizza is one of the boldest Aussie comedies on television. Get set for bigger and cheesier storylines straight from the headlines. Social media trolls, get ready to rumble!”

There must be something in the water because we keep getting reboots of things no one asked for.

Fat Pizza was definitely a cult show back in the day but I don’t know if I would classify making mean-spirited fun of racial and cultural stereotypes as “bold” comedy.

That sort of stuff might’ve slipped by without much of a whimper during the show’s original 2000-2007 run but good luck trying to sell the same kind of Aussie bogan jokes today without offending people.

And besides, if I wanted to watch a show that revels in punching-down humour and offensive racial stereotypes, I’d just watch whatever rubbish Chris Lilley is pumping out.

“Comedy.”

Fenech will be returning for the reboot alongside classic characters like Mama, Sleek and Bobo, as well as appearances from Housos characters Shazza, Vanessa and Kev the Kiwi.

Interestingly, the show’s original breakout star, Rebel Wilson, is reportedly not involved with the new season. Read into that however you will.

As for when the new season of Fat Pizza will arrive, it will apparently drop later this year on 7Mate but don’t hold your breath. I certainly won’t.

This Aussie Guy Took It Upon Himself To Explain The Hong Kong Protests To Actual Hongkongers

You're a privileged white Aussie man in Hong Kong, mate. Think about it.

The 2019 Hong Kong protests began back in June over a controversial anti-extradition bill and has since escalated dramatically in the ensuing months. As hundreds of thousands of people continue to hold pro-democracy demonstrations, the police have retaliated with increasing levels of force and violence.

These protests has since spilled out into Hong Kong airport, causing the cancellation of hundreds of flights and leaving many people quite angry about it. Some folk just want to go home and these young Hong Kongers are just ruining it for them.

How dare those pro-democracy protesters who are fighting for their freedom.

One Aussie chap (who actually lives in China now) was quite pissed at the whole thing because he just wants to get home and the protests are hurting the bottom line of his business. With his flight canceled, his patience gone and his pearl necklace in hand, the bloke decided to confront some protesters and show them a piece of his mind.

Ol’ mate starts off by correctly pointing out how Hong Kong is technically part of China, but things go downhill quickly as the protesters ask him about his thoughts about the “one country, two systems” arrangement between China and Hong Kong and were met with a blank stare.

The bloke then loses his cool when a protester calls him out for only being being angry because his flight was canceled and he tries to get back on the offensive by playing the “get a job” card.

For what it’s worth, the protesters say they have but decided to chuck a sickie because the fight for freedom was just a bit more important that day.

The bloke then tries to blame the protesters for making it hard for him to do his business they should just listen to China (since they’re all the same, y’know), only for them to tell him how Hong Kong is a tax-free haven that would disappear if they did what he said. But look, those are just unimportant semantics for an Aussie businessman who had his flight canceled.

After a brief argument over corruption in Hong Kong – with the chap unironically asking the protesters to name names and seemingly not understanding the concept of systemic corruption – the topic then turned to the police response to the protesters.

The chap claims the Hong Kong police have been “very very restrained” and their decision to use tear gas in enclosed spaces and at close ranges, crowd control bean bags and dangerous rubber bullets as an appropriate response to *checks notes* throwing rocks and a couple of Molotov cocktails.

Restrained indeed.

Those were just the broad strokes of this infuriating exchange. If you have the patience to sit through the damn thing, check it out right here.

The chap later spoke to a CNN journalist and stands by everything he said before saying that the protests may have gotten to the point where the Chinese army “should step in to bring some sense of normal conduct.”

Uh huh. That doesn’t scream Tiananmen Square 2.0 at all.

It’s pretty easy to say things like “Hong Kong is a part of China”, “muh canceled flights” and “get a job” to oppressed protesters when you’re a privileged white Aussie man who’s never had to live in a country where rule of law, freedom of speech and democracy are merely ideas on paper and can simply flee back to a country where all those things are guaranteed.

But we did learn something about this whole exchange: next time you face protesters, you should try hammering a nail into a stone wall using your forehead. That’s guaranteed to be a better strategy than trying to explain what’s happening in Hong Kong to actual Hong Kongers.

GLOW Season 3's Best Moments Isn't Vegas But Its Focus On Great Minority Characters

The wait for GLOW to give its large cast of characters some attention was worth it.

Spoilers for GLOW season 3!

You’ve been warned!

A big part of what made the first two seasons of GLOW work so well was the intertwining of its character’s arcs with their hardship of trying to get their women’s wrestling TV show, G.L.O.W, off the ground.

Season three quickly makes it clear that while G.L.O.W is now a Las Vegas stage show, all the hard work has paid off as everyone is finally tasting the success they’ve worked so hard for. But with success comes a discernible lack of dramatic tension. With their goals reached, there are no longer any stakes for the ensemble.

Recognising this little problem, the writers for GLOW made the inspired decision to bench G.L.O.W in favour of focusing on its large roster of characters and the result is several of our favourite supporting characters finally getting their long-awaited time in the spotlight, as well as deeper explorations into established relationships.

YES!

We see Tammé (Kia Stevens) go through the physical toll of performing G.L.O.W every night and subsequently figuring out a new, less painful career path; There’s Sheila (Gayle Rankin) becoming more comfortable in her own skin as she gradually sheds the wolf skin she wears (literally and metaphorically); and we see conflicts between Cherry (Sydelle Noel) and Keith (Bashir Salahuddin) as the couple butt heads over starting a family.

Season three also digs much deeper into LGBTQI angle than previous seasons as we see how Bash (Chris Lowell) and Arthie (Sunita Mani) gradually come to terms with their sexuality in the face of external and internal pressures.

But perhaps the storyline that resonated the most for me personally was Jenny (Ellen Wong) and Melanie (Jackie Tohn)’s arc. Jenny is the only Asian character on the show and she was barely more than the quirky token Asian who weathers a bunch of race jokes – both with her character and in-show wrestling character – from Melanie during the first two seasons of GLOW.

After two seasons of building, GLOW finally addresses the whole race thing with an emotional – if slightly clumsy – heart to heart between the Jenny and Melanie. We finally get to see a bit more of what makes those two tick and it was worth the wait.

The fact that I haven’t even mentioned the great work by the likes of Alison Brie, Betty Gilpin, Marc Maron, Britney Young, Britt Baron and guest star Geena Davis speaks volumes about the size and talent of the cast more than anything else.

GLOW has certainly had problems in the past with properly servicing all its characters but has always got away with it thanks to the great work from the actors. Season three goes some ways into fixing that problem but hasn’t quite nailed it just yet.

The increased focus on the characters has had a trickle-down effect on the narrative’s pacing, which is perhaps the most uneven one yet. Season three’s storyline doesn’t quite coherently gel as a whole and its parts feel greater than the sum of the whole.

But despite some cracks appearing, GLOW continues to chug along due to the brilliant work of its cast, the layered characters and the show’s exploration into heady themes like feminism, the patriarchy and the pitfalls of showbusiness.

Season three is messy, painful and fun, not unlike the G.L.O.W Las Vegas stage show, and that’s why it remains compelling.

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