It’s been a big day for… Listening to...

0:00 10:23

It’s been a big day for… Listening to...

There Are People Who Deliberately Get To The Airport Late And What The Hell Even Is That?

How do these people even live with themselves?

People are different and unique and amazing in their variety. And it’s easy to forget that wonderful fact, ensconced as we are in our own little bubbles of cultural assumptions and unfounded beliefs in a share common sense.

However, then something comes along which flips everything on its head and you don’t even recognise the world anymore. Something which makes you question literally everything about the way that the universe works.

This happened for me when I read Amanda Mull’s piece in the Atlantic about people who deliberately run late for their flights and… honestly, what the hell even is that?

Now, I’m prepared to accept that this was an American piece about Americans, where flights are more frequent and cheap than they are in Australia. But who the hell gets to the airport and the last minute and hopes that everything’s going to be running to schedule? Have they never been in an airport before?

I’d always assumed that people travelled much like m’self, gripped by anxiety about being late and forgetting everything, and desperate to just get to the airport, get through security and be sitting in the departure lounge confident that the plane won’t be able to sneakily creep away when my back is turned.

And believe me, getting there with a solid time-buffer is necessary when young kids come into the equation, because nothing puts a burning match to the schedule like a sudden pre-terminal nappy-shredding poosplosion.

Not a metaphor.

However, the article reveals that other, less child-encumbered people prefer to let the sheer thrill of a plane-deadline carry them through the mad rush to the gate. People with a far greater faith in not being assigned flights at the furthest possible terminal than I, it would appear, and also better sprinting speed.

Anyway: the takeaway here people are different and some, clearly, are cool with selfishly delaying our flights because they only called an Uber to the airport at the same time as the initial boarding announcement.

Curse you adrenalin junkies and your cavalier approach to air travel. You’re a pack of monsters.