Dear fellow passenger,
Let me start by saying we’re all in this together. We all know what it’s like to make the unpleasant hot and smelly commute to and from work during peak hour. It’s something that ties us together in this cruel world.
But there is one thing that makes us fundamentally different, I’m sad to say. And it’s not your name or colour of our hair or where you grew up- although I’m sure they’re all distinguishable characteristics. It’s our train etiquette.
I consider myself to be a thoughtful traveller. I always have my ticket ready before approaching the station gates to not inconvenience anyone behind me, I step off the train when it’s crowded to help people get off more easily and I put my bags on my lap or on the floor but never on the seat. Why take up a good seat with a backpack when someone else could be sitting comfortably?
You and the likes of you aren’t so thoughtful, I’m sad to say. But it’s not the man-spreading or talking loudly on the phone that gets me, it’s your constant decision to stand for me when I want to sit rather than just sliding across.
Your need to make me climb through other passenger’s legs and lift my three bags high enough to not hit someone in the head just because you couldn’t slide across 5 centimetres. That is what gets me.
I’m grateful you’re making room for me. Hell, I’m grateful just have a seat. I just don’t understand the logic.
I don’t understand why you can’t just slide. It saves us both time and energy (which neither of us have much of at 7am in the morning, that’s for sure).
It also really saves me the struggle. Especially when the train takes off with a jerk and I have to try and stop myself from falling on the lady beside me with just one arm and my limited core strength. You can see I’m holding a lot, you can see I’m a kind person (I only smiled at you three times already), just slide over.
I’m a slider. And every time I do it I get a surprised “thank you” from the passenger I’ve slid for.
Sliding is a rare practice in our current society. Our world is full of selfish passengers and grumpy ticket officers.
I employ you to help me, dear passenger. Help me make it a better, safer place to travel. We need to look out for each other.
Also just stop being a massive nuisance. It’s better for everyone that way.
So next time you see me or anyone come down the stairs looking at the free seat beside you with keen eyes, remember two words: slide. over.
Best,
A slider.