Bleats

A Definitive Ranking Of Tom Cruise's Top 20 Movies Based On His Unparalleled Running Prowess

Never mind Metacritic or Rotten Tomatoes – Tom Cruise movies can only be measured on the strength of his panicked sprinting.

For over three decades, Tom Cruise has been entertaining us with his acting, charisma, increasingly wild stunts, and of course, his infamous panicked running.

So rather than do the usual ranking of all of Cruise’s movies based on Metacritic or Rotten Tomato scores, I’m going to rank his movies using the only metric that really matters: his running.

Naturally, this rules out all movies that feature no running (sorry Magnolia and Tropic Thunder) and any non-lead roles. Since the guy’s been in over 40 movies, I’m also going to keep things simple and limit the list down to the top 20. And remember, this isn’t a ranking based on the quality of the movies; this is purely on the strength of Cruise’s running.

And before anyone gets mad, Mission: Impossible – Fallout was not considered because I sadly haven’t seen it (yet) but you can be damn sure I’ll update this list once I do.

20. Rain Man (1988)

There isn’t much running in Rain Man, but that one scene in which Cruise frantically searches for Dustin Hoffman is pretty damn tense which is why this manages to just sneak onto the list.

19. The Last Samurai (2003)

Cruise stands out amongst the crowd as the only Caucasian man running amongst an army of Japanese men, but the lack of sustained sprinting and the equally impressive sprinted from the others pushes The Last Samurai down the list.

18. The Mummy (2017) 

The movie itself is absolutely dreadful and it is only the running that helps prevent it from being an unwatchable mess. It plays like a slightly tired retread of old Tom Cruise running tropes, like sprinting on roof tops and away from the baddies, but at least there’s a LOT of it.

17. Knight And Day (2010)

The beach sprint was pretty average, but the sustained roof top run was surprisingly good and featured a bit more variance than you would expect from something that’s been done many times. The arm swinging and quick feet shuffles are top notch here.

16. Vanilla Sky (2001)

Vanilla Sky makes the list purely based on Cruise’s long sprint down the empty city street. The quick cuts and his pained expression makes the run incredibly tense with a dash of the surreal.

15. Born On The Fourth Of July (1989)

The sheer variance in running environments is what pushes this film onto the list. Cruise runs as part of a training camp, he runs in the rain, and he even runs around on a sandy battlefield. What’s more, he manages to run well in each setting, proving that the man is just a pure sprinting machine.

14. Jerry Maguire (1996)

That airport run is probably the most memorable non-action Tom Cruise sprint ever so there’s no way I could leave it off the list. It’s sustained, tense, and ultimately a little heartwarming in the end.

13. Mission: Impossible 2 (2000)

It’s Tom Cruise running, jumping, and doing ridiculous stuff as usual. In SLOW MOTION!

12. Risky Business (1983)

There’s some running through the school halls, but I’m also going to bend the rules a bit for the iconic underpants dance scene since I simply have to mention it. This might also be the first Tom Cruise movie in which he does more than physical running – he’s also “running” away from his responsibilities and growing up. Eh? Ehhhhh?

11. All The Right Moves (1983)

The actual movie itself is pretty meh, but the running is top notch and varied. Cruise shows off his athletic ability on the football pitch, he sprints after his girlfriend, he dodges traffic, and there’s even a bit of him running up stairs. It’s like they made the movie with the premise “Tom Cruise running, but in high school!”

10. Collateral (2004)

Cruise brings his sprinting A-game here, but his portrayal as a ruthless mercenary makes his running much more menacing than anything he’s ever showcased. It’s akin to having the T-1000 chasing after you.

9. War Of The Worlds (2005)

The whole film is dark and frantic, which makes some of Cruise’s running scenes a little hard to see. But when we get a clear visual, it is something else. That scene where he runs from the Tripod makes for some seriously tense watching, even if the logic of a short man managing to escape a giant alien creature pushes the suspension of disbelief a bit too far.

8. Oblivion (2013)

Cruise doesn’t bring anything new to the table in terms of his running, but the stunning scenery and cinematography helps elevate his usual sprinting game to something special. It also features what I think is the first scene of Cruise running on a treadmill for exercise as opposed to panicked chasing or frantic escaping which is refreshing.

7. Mission: Impossible – Rogue Nation (2015)

Things kick off with that epic sprint onto the giant aircraft and is sustained through nearly the whole film. The barefoot sprint through the prison and the chase through the streets of London are also some great moments.

6. Mission: Impossible (1996)

It’s far from the most distance Cruise has run in a film, but that brilliant sequence in which he uses that explosive gum to blow a hole in the massive fish tank before escaping his captors on foot elevates this up the list. Never mind that “suspended in mid-air” scene, this is the one that I remember most from the movie.

5. The Firm (1993)

This has to be the most running ever seen in a legal drama. Seriously. From chasing his wife down the street and frantically rushing through the lobby of a hotel to several sprints through traffic, Cruise must’ve portrayed the quickest and fittest lawyer ever seen on screen.

4. Mission: Impossible III (2006)

There’s definitely a heap of running to and from places (and a heap of lens flares), but it’s the frantic sprinting during that epic action scene on the bridge that really sells it. Also a shoutout to the jumping-off-the-building scene, and the long take of Cruise sprinting through the crowded streets of Shanghai. It’s almost enough to offset the lens flares.

3. Minority Report (2002) 

As an experienced police officer who goes on the run as a fugitive, the running is frantic and constant. The arm swinging is totally on point and it also helps that Steven Spielberg is at the helm to help make Cruise’s sprinting even more cinematic than it already is.

2. Edge Of Tomorrow (2014) 

The addition of a mech-suit definitely adds a new element to Cruise’s usual running style, but the character arc in which he goes from “useless at everything, even running” to “badass at everything, including running” makes this film one of his best.

1. Mission: Impossible – Ghost Protocol (2011)

THE definitive Tom Cruise running movie. He runs while dressed as a Russian, he runs from explosions, he runs after a train, and he runs through a sandstorm. Hell, he even runs down the side of the world’s tallest tower.

In terms of sprinting like a headless chicken with his arms swinging like a windmill, Cruise has peaked in Ghost Protocol. Let’s see if Fallout is able to match it.

Married At First Sight Shows There’s More To Learn About Consent

"Take your bra off! Let it hang!"

Amanda and Tash have had a really hard time connecting with each other. We could’ve put it down to Amanda’s fiery personality or Tash’s dating history, but the first commitment ceremony was full of red flags.

If you’re a big fan of Married At First Sight, check out this episode of It’s Been A Big Day For…

In the commitment ceremony, there was one particular interaction that had us shocked and it’s when Amanda said: “If it were up to me, we probably would have slept together by now.”

Now, we all know that consent requires everyone involved in the situation to give an enthusiastic ‘yes’, and Tash hasn’t given any indication that she wants to be that intimate with Amanda. In fact, it was the opposite. 

Tash actually described in detail how her feelings evolved from initial attraction to lack thereof, saying: “I was acting a certain way at the wedding and now my body language changed and she’s really intuitive and I knew she could pick it up. I wish I felt burning, strong, firey chemistry, I wish I did, but I’m not going to bullshit it.”

And Amanda knew this, but it didn’t stop Tash from blaming herself for the whole saga. She said: “I hurt her, but I was honest. I feel like I ruined the honeymoon, really, and it was pretty hard to recover from it and it drove a big wedge between us.”

Also, it didn’t help that Amanda cornered her wife, in front of 21 other people, outlining her lack of intimacy in their relationship, saying: “Quality time for me is watching a movie together… We didn’t watch a single movie together…  I’m talking away from the public… I’m talking in the room, with no one around, like your walls down, our PJ’s are on and we’re just our complete selves, our bras are literally off, and we’re enjoying each other’s company… Take your bra off! Let it hang! Do you know what I mean?” 

So, essentially we have a situation with an abundance of issues. Tash feels like she’s in the wrong because she isn’t feeling the same feelings as her partner and Amanda feels the need to vocalise what she would have done if she was “calling the shots.” Newsflash, it’s not “calling the shots” if one member of the relationship is not up for the intimacy. 

So unless Tash changes her mind, falls in love with Amanda and begin in something more than a friendship, the bras stay on.

If you haven’t done your MAFS homework, make sure you catch up on previous lessons. So far, we’ve learnt about gaslighting, why adults still need supervision, to never force chemistry, to not make a fool of yourself when there are cameras aroundhow to meet people in a socially acceptable way and also how crappy friends can ruin a relationship.

Always be in the loop with our snackable podcast breaking the biggest story of the day. Subscribe to It’s Been A Big Day For… on your favourite podcast app.

Joey From ‘10 Things I Hate About You’ Is A Cult Leader IRL And I Can’t Cope

I guess the tube sock ad didn't work out.

Remember Joey Donner from everyone’s favourite 90s flick 10 Things I Hate About You? He was the OG f*ckboy and every parent’s worst nightmare – but in real life, he’s apparently a cult leader who got done for illegally selling kombucha.

According to Marie Claire, Andrew Keegan – who played Joey in the film –  is the co-founder of “California spiritual community” Full Circle, where he “passionately seeks to inspire and empower the community to co-create a better world.”

Apparently, in his role Keegan is often referred to as a “guru” and “promotes organic experiences within the temple, including hand-holding, group meditation, spooning, crystals, candles and ‘soul medicine.’” Full Circle even has a pet parrot called Krishna, reflecting the religion’s Hindu influence.

Speaking of throwbacks, listen to the GOAT team breakdown Jessica Simpson’s new tell-all book on It’s Been A Big Day For… below:

In a 2014 article, Vice characterised Full Circle as a “new religion,” however publications including Jezebel have labelled it a cult. In a 2015 interview with Keegan, Lauren Bans of New York Magazine wrote, “the actual theology of the group is tough to in down, but it seems to loosely follow Hinduism – or at least Russell Brand’s Sanskrit-tattoo version of it.”

If all this hadn’t blown your mind enough, in 2015, Keegan was reportedly raided by California’s Department of Alcohol Beverage Control for “illegally selling Kombucha that wasn’t labelled alcoholic.”

“Kombucha is something we’d never imagine to be an illegal substance, and it’s frustrating the system has that perspective,” Keegan said. “We’re certainly taking full responsibility. We try to put our best foot forward.”

According to Vice, Keegan’s “spiritual transformation” came from a traumatic experience in 2011 when he and two friends were attacked by gang members in Venice Beach. “The significance of this occurrence is that it happened at the same time the tsunami hit Japan,” he said, relating the incident to a series of events and “weird coincidences.”

Sounds like Keegan’s current life is a far cry from his days as semi-professional tube sock model Joey Donner, but whatever floats your boat, right?

Always be in the loop with our snackable podcast breaking the biggest story of the day. Subscribe to It’s Been A Big Day For… on your favourite podcast app.

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