Chris Hemsworth, Chris Evans, Chris Pine, Chris Noth, Chris Pratt (before he got weird and preachy and homophobic) were some of the many Hollywood Chrises that made up the almighty and all-muscular Hot Chris List.
Thor, Captain America, Hot mans from Princess Diaries 2, Mr. Big and Andy Dwyer will always have our hearts but we need to acknowledge the underrated category of Johns that are passing us by as we speak.
This is the Hot John List.
#5 John Stamos
John Stamos sits comfortably at number 5 on the Hot John list. He’s aged well, he looks like he smells fantastic and that half-smile is enough to kill any human and/or being.
Best known as Uncle Jesse on Full House and himself in David Dobrik’s vlogs.
#4 John Legend
John Legend makes it feel like it’s totally possible to cuddle him on the couch and eat strawberries and be romantic and fall in love, but in reality, he is so much better than all of us and is basically untouchable.
Best known for looking like Arthur the Aardvark, being the douchey piano bro in La La Land and being a deadset fantastic dad and husband.
#3 John Mayer
Not only are Room For Squares and Continuum some of the best albums to maybe ever exist, but John Mayer is literally THAT hot. It’d be literally beyond easy to fall in love with him which is exactly why I couldn’t trust him. He bad.
Papa Mayer is a dangerous John but he’s a juicy John. He’d break my heart so good and I’d let him.
Best known for breaking hearts and being hot.
#2 John Mulaney
John Mulaney is Kid Gorgeous. He is an upstanding, delicious man who loves his wife and his dog and Pete Davidson. Mulaney snags and deserves spot number two (and almost took out the title as hottest John) because he’s literally such a wholesome John that doesn’t get enough praise.
Best known for being the Chris Evans of the Hot John List, writing skits for Saturday Night Live and being a Netflix daddy.
#1 John Krasinski
Thank you to everyone who has come on this journey with us to crown the Hot John Daddy Supreme. Ofc it’s John Krasinski, there was never going to be a debate. Some could even argue that I wrote this entire article just for the sake of gushing about Jim from The Office.
Some should be all and all are correct.
I don’t think I could lust over a Hot John more than I lust over the king. He is Jim Halpert in real life, he’s married to Emily Blunt who is a deadset icon, he froths on The Devil Wears Prada and his FACE is SUCH a good face.
We are undeserving of this Hot John but I’ll spend my life proving myself worthy for a spot at Krasinski’s table… if we were ever at the same table for any reason.