Bleats

A Serious Investigation Into Whether Queen Elizabeth II Has A Finsta

It wouldn't surprise us if she didn't, but it also wouldn't surprise us if she did.

Queen Elizabeth II had a tour of a new ‘Top Secret’ exhibition at London’s Science Museum recently and she marked the occasion by sharing her first ever Instagram post.

Sharing an image of an 1843 letter written to her great-great-grandfather Prince Albert from a chap named Charles Babbage, the Queen wrote about the letter’s history before expressing her “pleasure of learning about children’s computer coding initiatives.”

The 92-year-old Queen sharing a post about coding on Instagram. Now that’s a sentence I did not expect to write.

It’s great that the Queen has finally decided to take the plunge into the depths of Instagram but this has got the GOAT team very curious about something: Has Queen Elizabeth II had a finsta account this whole time?

Sure the Queen may have sent her first “official” Royal Family Instagram post recently, but who’s to say that she hasn’t been on the platform longer than all of us?

And since the topic of Queen Elizabeth’s finsta is one the demands answers, it’s time for one of our serious investigations into the matter.

On the surface, it seems like the Queen has none of those social medias that the kids are using these days. Hell, she signed off her first Insta post with “Elizabeth R” instead of “Queen Lizzy xoxo”. No Insta pro would make such a rookie mistake.

But perhaps that’s what she wants you to think. Perhaps she’s secretly an expert at all this tech stuff and is merely hiding it under the guise of being an elderly person (which she actually is, I suppose.) Here are some bits of evidence we’ve strung together with bits of cotton on a corkboard strongly suggesting that the Queen has a finsta.

She’s historically been pretty tech savvy

While the Queen is (seemingly) late to the whole Instagram and Twitter thing, she’s embraced technology throughout her reign. From when she held the first televised coronation in the Royal Family’s history back in 1953, the Queen has had a bunch of other tech-embracing moments such as:

She is reportedly up-to-date with all the latest gadgets

Unlike most elderly people who have little to no interest in smartphones and tablets, the Queen is up-to-date on the latest gadgets and apparently even has her own personal iPad, laptop, and smartphone, the latter of which is kept fully charged at all times by her personal assistant.

Gotta keep that battery full for some cheeky Instagram lurking.

She reportedly has a uber-secret Facebook profile

While the Queen uses her smartphone for old-fashioned calls and texts (both of which she reportedly loves to do, particularly to Princess Anne), apparently she also has a secret Facebook account though no one is quite sure if it’s under an alias or who she is friends with on the platform.

A Facebook search for Queen Elizabeth II yields nothing but a bunch of fan pages so no luck on that front. Here’s hoping that the Queen isn’t one of those elderly Facebook users spreading fake news around.

Sadly, the Queen isn’t on Twitter so we’ll have to make do with hilarious parody accounts for now.

Verdict

Let’s gather the facts we know so far:

  • She has her own personal devices
  • She has her own private Facebook account
  • She is interested in technology and almost certainly knows what social media is

While we can’t definitively confirm that the Queen has a finsta, the facts suggest that the possibility of her trawling around Instagram on a fake account is surprisingly high, at least in the 65-75% range.

Seeing as how the Queen has been super private about nearly everything in her life throughout the 92 years she’s been on this green(ish) earth, it is unlikely she’ll spill the secret now. Plus the Queen is human like the rest of us so she has to keep herself amused as well.

So next time you get a weird comment on one of your Insta posts, there’s a slim chance that Queen Elizabeth II is trolling you.

Kickstart Your Week With These Glorious Images Of Prince Harry Wearing A Pair Of Aussie Budgie Smugglers Over His Pants

Certainly one way to liven things up at the Invictus Games this year.

In case you haven’t heard, Prince Harry and Meghan Markle have been going around Australia over the past week and capturing everyone’s hearts by being their usual super-likable selves.

After spending a bit of time with some koalas at the zoo and a quick visit to the Royal Flying Doctor Base in Dubbo, Harry is back in Sydney to kick off the fourth edition of the Invictus Games, a parasport event for wounded, injured or sick armed services personnel and their associated veterans created by the Prince back in 2014.

For the games’ official first day of competition, Harry was at the event to present medals to the winning athletes of the cycling events.

A couple of Aussie athletes thought it was the perfect time to ask for an autograph but since they didn’t have a photo, they decided to use a pair of special Invictus budgie smugglers instead.

While Harry didn’t sign them because “he wasn’t allowed to”, he did have a chat with the blokes since that’s the least he can do after declining to sign their green and gold budgie smugglers.

But that wasn’t it for Prince Harry and excessively tiny swimwear.

Later on, he was gifted a special pair of budgie smugglers. Instead of signing (or not signing) them, he decided to do a Superman and wear them over his pants. Wearing budgie smugglers usually automatically downgrades your cool factor a couple of notches, but Harry gets a pass here.

He is just a goddamn delight, isn’t he?

Rejoice As Queen Elizabeth II's Cousin Lord Ivar Mountbatten Becomes The First Ever Member Of The British Royal Family To Have A Same-Sex Wedding

Not even a spot of miserable British weather could wash away the happiness of this event.

Ever since Prince Harry and Meghan Markle tied the knot in that lavish ceremony a few months ago, they’ve quickly been slotted into the role of “favourite British royal couple”. It makes total sense why; they’re young, good-looking, charming, and a reasonably down-to-earth. I mean, Meghan even opens and closes her own car doors, which is just earth-shattering stuff as a British royal.

However, with no disrespect to Harry and Meghan, I think we may have found our new favourite British royal couple.

Last week, history was made when Queen Elizabeth II’s cousin Lord Ivar Mountbatten married his partner James Coyle in the British royal family’s first ever same-sex royal wedding.

The wedding itself was a relatively intimate affair with only 60 or so guests in attendance, but what it lacked in spectacle (relatively speaking in royal wedding terms), it more than made up for wholesomeness.

Mountbatten was reportedly walked down the aisle by his ex-wife Penny, who he divorced from in 2011 but evidently still gets along with perfectly well. As an extra cherry on top of this already-wholesome moment, the former couple’s three daughters -Alexandra, Ella, and Louise – were also in attendance, along with Mountbatten and Coyle’s pet dog, who was dressed 100% appropriately for the day.

While no members of the British royal family were at the ceremony, it is reported that they all sent through their warmest congratulations and wishes.

Having watched all of The Crown, navigating through all the British royal family obstacles that would test even the strongest relationships, let alone a same-sex relationship. But unlike Princess Margaret and Peter Townsend, Ivar and James got to have their happily ever after.

And with that, I’ll end this with a big congrats to the newly wed couple. Sorry again, Harry and Meghan, but hey, second favourite is still damn good.

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