Bleats

I Think The Good Place Has Accidentally Ruined My Life Forever

Stupid smart show, ruining everything with its wisdom and terrible puns.

Spoilers for The Good Place ahead, obviously.

Damn you, stupid perfect show.

There are two kinds of people in the world: those who think The Good Place is the towering pinnacle of the television and comedic arts, and people who are wrong.

At least, that’s how I felt until living in the aftermath of season three. And yes, we’re pulling gently into Spoilertown so opt out now if you haven’t watched this show yet despite it having existed for years and which is about to finish with the forthcoming fourth series.

Haunting.

The big reveal of this series – sorry, one of the many big reveals of the most big reveal-heavy show on television – was that no-one has gotten into the Good Place in over 500 years and that even the best person on the planet (according to the Good Place’s point system) didn’t have a hope in the bad place of getting in.

And this wasn’t because of a glitch in the system or because the Bad Place demons had corrupted the afterlife’s bureaucracy, but because life on Earth had gotten increasingly interconnected and complicated, making it impossible to do anything which is unambiguously good.

You and me both, Chidi m’boy. You and me both.

A call to your mum on her birthday uses a phone whose components are mined by slave labour. A visit to friends burns fossil fuels in a machine whose entire creation was an environmental nightmare. Everything has consequences which are not only unforeseeable, but unavoidable without making impractical sacrifices.

And it’s a great and complex idea – especially for a network sitcom – but also… oh god, they’re right. They’re so, so right.

Fair point, demon.

I mean, I could go vegan, walk and cycle everywhere and spend all my spare time researching cancer vaccines – things which I have not even come close to achieving, to be clear – and I’d still be falling massively short, not least because simply by working a job and buying things I am contributing to an economic system which devours the planet to fuel endless growth.

And recognising it does nothing bar make me ruin things which might otherwise perk me up. “Oh, South Australia’s entire electrical grid was fuelled by wind and solar yesterday, huh? Great! That’s a whole lot of greenhouse gas not pumped into the atmosphere… thanks to rare earth metals open cut forcibly mined under dictatorships.”

So thanks a bunch, The Good Place. I can’t even curl up with a television comedy without being made painfully aware that even the act of doing increases the heat on Earth by a tiny by measurable amount.

Say what you will about The Big Bang Theory, it didn’t make its viewers think about that. Or literally anything else.

'Sex Pest' Just Won An Aria For Best Comedy Song So Obviously The ABC Should Un-Cancel Tonightly Right This Second

How many of the current ABC shows have won an ARIA today? EXACTLY.

Yes, GOAT has been vocal – indeed, downright intrusive and irritating – in our advocacy for the ABC’s doomed comedy juggernaut Tonightly with Tom Ballad – taken from our screens, if not our hearts.

We implored you to watch it. We railed against its cancellation. We dragged its showrunner Dan Ilic onto the very first episode of our Who Doesn’t Love Politics? podcast. And we still have complicated and disturbing dreams about Mr Oily.

#neverforget

Sadly, our love was not enough and the show breathed its last in September. But now we have been vindicated – VINDICATED – with the news that their powerful number ‘Sex Pest’ has just won the ARIA for Best Comedy Release.

And as befits a late night show shunted off to the unwatched digital channel, the announcement was made at the ARIA nominations event on Thursday, which no-one watches either.

(And while we’re on the topic of Tonightly and Who Doesn’t Love Politics, WHICH WE CLEARLY ARE, that is where Mr Ilic broke down the economics of the proposed Kylie Minogue ABC jingle with reference to how much it would have funded the show: “Kylie Minogue, for a 30 second song, was going to cost $750,000. In ABC economics 30 seconds of Kylie works out to be to be about 33783.78 seconds of Tonightly. I’ve done the maths on this!”)

Speaking of the ARIA nominations it’s going to be a dame-heavy event with the most nominated artists being largely female – Amy Shark has a mighty nine nominations, Courtney Barnett with eight, and Tash Sultana with six, as well as PNAU and the late, great Gurrumul with seven nominations apiece.

But they’ll have to wait until the actual ARIA awards on Wednesday 28 November; in the meantime, turn this up annoying loud and sing along: ha ha ha ha, sex pest / ha ha ha ha, sex pest…

Trump Is Now Trolling Democracy Itself

When the most powerful man in the world muses whether the US should follow China into having a dictator-for-life, it's impossible to tell if he's joking or preparing.

The ever-malleable Donald Trump is notorious for holding the opinions of the last person to speak to him, which is sort of adorable in a oh-heck-that-seems-easy-to-manipulate sort of a way. Although not necessarily when the last person was Chinese leader, President Xi Jinping

The Chinese Communist Party unexpectedly announced that they were abolishing term limits on the country’s presidents this month, meaning that Mr Xi could rule for life. And once upon a time that sort of announcement would have the world panicking, but coming as it does after a bunch of other authoritarian leaders did the same thing in their ostensibly somewhat-democratic nations – Vladimir Putin in Russia and Recep Erdogan in Turkey, for example – the collective response appears to have been little more than a shrug.

Even so, it seems a little tiny weeny bit concerning that Trump – a man with more than a slight touch of the despot about him – expressed his admiration for the Chinese president in what sounded awfully like jealousy about the whole dictator-for-life thing he now gets to enjoy.

Following the shock announcement of steel and aluminium trade sanctions against everyone – including the newly-admired China, but also allies like the UK, Canada and Australia – Trump’s attention turned to the happier question of how nice it would be to golf without having to worry about one day giving up power.

 

 

“He’s now President for life. President for life. And he’s great,” Trump said of Big Xi in a private speech to Republican donors in Florida on Saturday, a recording of which was leaked to CNN. “And look, he was able to do that. I think it’s great. Maybe we’ll give that a shot some day.”

And sure, that might sound terrifying – but last time China had lifelong dictators it all went great! That’s why everyone talks about Mao Zedong’s Cultural Revolution as “awesome” and “bloodless” and “totally not filled with death squads”.

And sure, it might have just been an off the cuff quip. It might even have been a joke. But coming from Trump’s mouth, it’s impossible to rule out the possibility that it’s narrative foreshadowing…

#Trending

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